Weekend Observations 11th - 13th December 2010: Part Two

After the sacking of Chris Hughton last week you would have thought football would wait a few weeks before going completely mental again. No. Just a few days later ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce was relieved of his duties at Blackburn Rovers. A shocking decision on the face of it given the fact he was doing a fairly decent job of maintaining Rovers’ position of mid table mediocrity. Seeing as the Venky’s group – Blackburn’s new owners – recently claimed they were happy in that very position, their complete change of stance is baffling. The fact they don’t seem to even have a replacement lined up makes the whole situation even more nonsensical.

Mind you, having pumped a fortune into buying the club, they probably took one look at the Allardyce’s ‘style’ of football and understandably came to the conclusion they wanted to see something much better.

Allardyce was handed his pink slip off the back of a 2-1 defeat in the Lancashire/Greater Manchester/Somewhere-in-the-north-east derby against his former club Bolton. Given the way Allardyce celebrated his current side’s equaliser in front of the fans who once worshiped the ground he walked upon, you have to say Karma gave him a double dose of whoop-ass. Stuart Holdon’s stunning quickfire response that ultimately proved to be the winning goal was just the starter before the main course of Monday’s dramatic dismissal.

The abovementioned Newcastle played their first game under Alan ‘5 and a half years’ Pardew and what do you know? They beat Liverpool 3-1 and looked quite good in the process. Andy Carroll was on the scoresheet yet again and is proving to be something of a revelation. Credit where it is undoubtedly due for him being able to make the transition from Championship to Premier League almost seamlessly – something many young players struggle to do.

The game also featured a now customary Torres one-on-one miss and Joey Barton... well, being Joey Barton. For the record, I don’t think his ‘gesture’ was that offensive but having just returned from a three match ban and everything that has happened to him IN HIS LIFE up until this point, you’d hope he would apply something like common sense and keep his nose clean. I’m not the first to say it and certainly won’t be the last but if Barton concentrated on his football and stopped behaving like a dickhead at every opportunity, he would actually be quite the player.

Dr. Jackal/Mr. Hyde also scored the key second goal in the game. The Premier League have apparently moved to ‘remind him of his responsibilities’ but it would help if Barton actually what the word responsibility actually meant.



Now, before Geordies start proclaiming Pardew to be their new Messiah, let’s not forget that this is still Hughton’s team.

In keeping with the theme of under fire managers, Roy Hodgson has once again had to come out fighting this week in face of more criticism and speculation over his future. Hodgson is in danger of doing irreparable damage both to his reputation and to this current Liverpool team. A good manager no doubt but as the season has worn on, it has become clear that Hodgson quite simply won’t be able to deliver what the club wants and needs: Champions League football and eventually a title push. His terrible personal away record doesn’t appear to show any sign of improving either.

Sharing their neighbours cause for concern are Everton whose traditional slow start to the season has dragged itself almost to the halfway stage after a 0-0 draw with Wigan. “Some” people might say that you insist on signing AND playing Jermaine Beckford instead of a real striker then you deserve to sit just two points off the relegation zone... some people!

With West Ham putting up about as much of a fight in the relegation battle as an anaemic schoolchild in the UFC, Wolves picked up a massive 1-0 win against midlands rivals Birmingham while across the region, Gerard Houllier’s Aston Villa scored a much needed 2-1 win over rivals West Brom. All four of these sides have some sort of dislike or resentment towards one another. Can’t imagine the West Midlands was a fun place to be over the weekend.

Stephen Hunt’s decisive goal and Wolves’ subsequent win opened up a three point gap on the hapless hammers as well as inching themselves closer to safety. The bottom of the table remains congested as ever and Villa’s welcome victory gives Gerrard Houllier some much needed breathing space after a poor recent run. Those same people who say those unkind words about Jermaine Beckford may also suggest that it is no coincidence that Villa finally won a game after dropping Richard Dunne.

Results

Saturday

Aston Villa 2-1 West Brom
Everton 0-0 Wigan
Fulham 0-0 Sunderland
Newcastle 3-1 Liverpool
Stoke 0-1 Blackpool
West Ham 1-3 Manchester City

Sunday

Bolton 2-1 Blackburn
Tottenham 1-1 Chelsea
Wolves 1-0 Birmingham

Monday

Manchester United 1-0 Arsenal

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Weekend Observations 27th - 28th November 2010

So, Dimitar Berbatov ended something of a goal scoring drought by hitting FIVE as Manchester United publicly violated Blackburn Rovers in an encounter that proved to be about as evenly matched as a pack of hungry mountain wolves in a classroom full of anemic schoolchildren.



'Berba' has divided opinion amongst the Old Trafford faithful for a long time now with many deeming him a waste of money given the £30million transfer fee it took to bring him from White Hart Lane way back when. However, his form at the start of this season, culminating in a spectacular hat-trick against Liverpool, had some crazy people comparing him to a United legend of years gone by.

Since that day over two months ago, karma being what is would dictate that the Bulgarian would fail to find the net again until his deluge of goals on Saturday. These non-scoring matches meant of course that fans would do an about turn and once again suggest that Berbatov doesn't perform well enough, is clearly not good enough for United etc etc. This has ultimately led to possibly the most underwhelming reaction to a 5-goal haul and a 7-1 win ever.

Not much in the way of sycophantic praise this time around but rather the simple realisation that players have good days and bad days. Of course, sublime overhead kicks and hat tricks cannot be expected every week but as these strikes currently see Berba at the top of the Premier League scoring charts, United fans and commentators need to realise how good they've got it particularly when Wayne Rooney continues to perform worse than a deaf mute trying to win some kind of popular televised signing contest.

Amusingly, the team on the receiving end of the humping were Blackburn, managed by Big Sam Allardyce. Yes, the very same Sam Allardyce who recently suggested he would be better suited to managing Inter Milan or Real Madrid (although, given their own pasting in Monday's El Clasico, maybe Big Sam may not be so out of place!). I would say something about him eating humble pie right now but it probably wouldn't be the only pastry based snack he'd be stuffing down his large, insufferable throat.

United reached the Premier League summit at the expense of Chelsea who continue to stutter, this week only managing a 1-all draw at Newcastle. Like last week against Birmingham, the blues were unable to fully recover from conceding a sloppy early goal and capitalise on their possession and chances.

The one talking point of an otherwise unremarkable match however was the fact that Chelsea's often lethal strike force failed to get the better of the evergreen Sol Campbell who once again, refuses to be written off and continues to perform at the top level. Yes, the game was that uneventful.



In contrast, the later game on Sunday provided tons of incident as Tottenham come from behind once again to beat Liverpool 2-1 at White Hart Lane. Once again, comeback specialists Spurs showed they don't know when they are beaten as Aaron Lennon secured the three points in stoppage time, despite missing their fourth penalty of the season and the visitors missing a hat-full of chances to put the game out of sight when leading. This wasn't like limp Liverpool performances of earlier in the season as they took the game to the hosts. But for some 'charitable' Paul Konchesky defending and if Fernando Torres and Maxi Rodriguez had invested in some shooting boots, we may well be sitting here talking about Liverpool being back on track and laughing heartily when people suggest Tottenham could challenge for the title.

Speaking of getting back on track, after a week to forget, Arsenal beat Aston Villa 4-2 at Villa Park in a game that only differed from last weekend's North London Derby in terms of the final scoreline. Like last weekend, Arsenal bossed the first half. Like Last weekend the gunners were 2-0 up and half time. Like last weekend they allowed the opposition a way back into the game early in the second half but unlike last weekend they were able to kick on and make the game safe but not without a scare or two. The most interesting assessment of Arsenal I read (somehwere) this week was the conclusion that the only way Arsene Wenger's team can ever be sure of winning a given game is by scoring at least 4 goals. Anything less and the opposition will back themselves to find a way back into it.

Controversy and the confusion over offsides reared their respective heads when Villa scored their first and ultimately fruitless goal as Big John Carew was gingerly meandering about the penalty area while injured and quite obviously blocked the view of Arsenal “goalkeeper” Luckaz Fabianski as Ciaran Clark struck to reduce the deficit. Whether Carew was 'interfering' or not was the debate but alas, given that this isn't the first incident of this type this season alone, it's safe to say that the officials are going to almost always give the benefit of doubt to the attacking team. More goals, fun game, right? Difficult to see how defending teams can combat it.

The weekend saw a record number of goals scored. 41 in total as all 20 teams managed to find the back of the net somehow. And that my friends, is the most goals scored in any weekend of a league season since the Sky-Sponsored, money-driven, commercial entity that is the Premier League was reduced to 20 teams in 1995.

Everton's hit and miss seson continued as they totally capitulated in a 4-1 defeat at home against West Brom. This shock scoreline was partly down to Mikael Arteta being controversially sent off. However, the outcome was rarely in doubt thanks mostly to tormentor in chief, the vastly underrated Chris Brunt whose free kick to score the Baggies' second on the day was as good you are ever likely to see anywhere in football.

That said, even Brunt's amazing strike was nothing compared to the simply stupendous team effort from Bolton when Mark Davies finished off an incredible passing move to score the equaliser against Blackpool. Honestly, the result may have dented what small aspirations Wanderers have of playing in Europe next season, but Davies' goal and the passage of play that preceded it would not look out of place in the Champions League such was it's quality.



Finally, down at the bottom of the league, Wolves dramatic late winner against the ever unpredictable Sunderland will have taken a bit of pressure off of Mick McCarthy as his side closed in on the teams above them. Credit to the big dopey Yorkshireman for keeping the spirits up and continuing to get the best out of what is, let's be honest, a team of slightly above average Championship players. They have played well enough in recent games and it was only a matter of time before these performances were rewarded with results.

This would have wound up those cheeky cockneys from Upton Park. Ebanks-Blake's last gasp winner means that West Ham remain bottom of the table despite their first league win since forever against their direct rivals for the league's wooden spoon Wigan who themselves look nothing short of hopeless.


Results

Saturday

Aston Villa 2-4 Arsenal
Bolton 2-2 Blackpool
Everton 1-4 West brom
Fulham 1-1 Birmingham
Man Utd 7-1 Blackburn
Stoke 1-1 Man City
West Ham 3-1 Wigan
Wolves 3-2 Sunderland

Sunday

Newcastle 1-1 Chelsea
Tottenham 2-1 Liverpool

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Weekend Observations 16th - 17th October 2010 - Part Two

Part one here

On Saturday, Arsenal took on Birmingham looking to get back on track after a number of recent poor league results. Predictably, the Gunners made hard work of a game they should have strolled to victory in. They did get the win in the end but the main talking point was once again, a dangerous over the top tackle that potentially could have caused serious injury. Yes, those dirty Brummies... hold on. Wait a sec. It says here that it was an ARSENAL player who was the culprit. That can't be right, surely? Wenger’s precious little lambs wouldn’t say boo to a goose! Turns out in their midst is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Step forward Jack Wilshire who rightly saw red for the exact type of challenge on Big Nic Zigic that Wenger has long been calling for to be essentially outlawed. If I knew the proper definition of irony, I'm sure this would be an example of it.



Both Arsene Wenger and Wilshire have been quick to acknowledge that the red card was deserved rather than trying to defend the indefensible as many other managers more often than not will try and do. Some credit has to go Brum gaffer Alex McLeish who had the decency not to complain and even gave the wholly contrived 'not that kind of player' spiel usually reserved for incidents such as this. However, you can't help feel that his motives were less than sincere when you see how smug he came across by suggesting that people 'draw a line' under the Eduardo incident from way back when. You almost think he wanted his own player's leg to be broken just so he could say "now we're quits".

The subject of tough/reckless/dangerous tackling just won’t go away at the moment it seems. Fulham’s Danny Murphy committed the cardinal sin of expressing an honest opinion by suggesting that managers of certain teams are responsible for sending their teams out with less than honourable intentions on the football pitch. Having seen two of his teammates suffer serious injury against two of the teams he mentioned, you might think his frustration was justified. Not in the eyes of the football community unfortunately as all and sundry have rounded on Murphy like he claimed that the slave trade had its benefits.

English football doesn't know what to do with itself. If this was Johnny Foreigner, people could dismiss it but because an old custodian of the domestic game and experienced former England international has spoken out, the entire country seems about ready to combust and it's just absurdly hilarious. The rebuttals have been brilliant; from Scholarly Sam Allardyce's epistemological views on perception to Tony Pulis' shocking revelation that he can actually read, the whole thing is has been reduced to farce and just gives further credence to the theory that football is full of morons. This was further highlighted on Match of the Day 2 this week when Kevin Day presented a feature on arguably the biggest culprits in the league at the moment, Wolverhampton Wanderers who somehow felt one 'clean' game against West Ham vindicates them for the crimes against football they’ve committed so far this season. I used to like and respect Steve Bull until he came across as a pompous arse while Mick McCarthy’s childish, petty, sarcastic retort amused only himself.

But then, you expect the accused to defend themselves no matter how ridiculous they sound. What was really disappointing were the League Managers Association wading in to have a dig at Murphy showing that they completely miss the point. Saying that managers have a responsibility to make sure their players aren't making dangerous tackles is something that the LMA should be addressing to it's members anyway or maybe they're just pissed because Murphy is doing their job for them.



Without wanting to dwell on this, my final point is that it is borderline idiotic to say that "back in the day tackles were worse" because the game has moved on since then. Rules have been changed to prevent reckless play going unpunished and more poignantly, I'm sure you will find that a darn sight more players were effectively crippled, permanently damaged or failed to fully recover from injuries sustained in their playing days. You'll also find that a lot more players were forced to hang up their boots early because of injury in these fabled golden ages of hard men and tough tackling. Having broken limbs isn't 'all part of the game' as some would have you believe.

Part Three to follow...

Weekend Observations 18th - 19th September: Part Two

Part Two... Part One here

On Friday, Sam Allardyce had us all in stitches when he jokingly suggested he would win every trophy in sight, every season for ever and ever if he got the chance to manage a top football club. The laughter stopped when we realised he was deadly serious. I think he made his point though as his Blackburn side barely scraped a draw against Fulham scoring a goal that seemed to epitomise exactly what he offers as a master football tactician and one of football's unsung heroes: a long ball into the box, a deliberate but unseen foul on the opposition goalkeeper by Pele incarnate El Hadji Diouf and an easy finish for Chris Samba. In all seriousness, his backlash against Wenger's complaints make more sense now. If more action was to be taken against these perceived roughhouse tactics, Allardici's glaring limitations as a manager would be ruthlessly exposed as the only 'tactic' he seems to know how to employ would be rendered utterly redundant.

Who knows? If Big Sam was at Chelsea maybe the title would be wrapped up by Christmas! Either way, I think they might just about get by without his style of 'football'. In that instance, if the title race is set to be a boring predictable procession, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we are all hoping to see more 'competitiveness' throughout the rest of the division. Putting aside their two humpings in London so far, Blackpool are playing their part as are they team they managed to beat in their last match, Newcastle. It's bloody difficult to know what to make of the Magpies at the minute. Gone are the days of Kevin Keegan's swashbuckling league title bottlers. Now we have Chris Hughton's less exciting side that are just happy to go about their business and I doubt would be too disappointed with mid-table obscurity.

Looking at their current squad, they're hardly packed with superstars but with the likes of Nolan, Barton, Carroll and loan signing Ben Arfa should have the quality to see them keep the wolves of any potential relegation battle at the door. Their defence however, while not as bad Geordie back lines of years gone by, is not one that would fill many with a great deal of confidence. Just as easily as they put 6 past Villa a while back, you can easily see them conceding as many as the likes of James Perch is regularly being put on his backside having been given the runaround by any half decent Premier League winger you could care to mention.

The inconsistency that has plagued them for years still seems to be there. At the start of the season, not many teams, let alone the promoted ones, would have been expected to take 6 points from two games against Villa and Everton respectively but then again not many teams will expect to only salvage a solitary point from matches against Wolves and Blackpool.

But you've got to give them credit for their win this past weekend and spoiling many betting slips that would have had that match down as a cast iron home win (Bastards!).



Speaking of whom, you have to wander what is in the water on Merseyside that has made all the football so-substandard in that part of the world. Liverpool's problems are well documented but it's not gone unnoticed that the blue half of the city have started the season just as ineptly as their red-clad brothers. Just when they thought they'd cracked it with that dramatic draw against Manchester United, they have been brought back down to earth with a bump. Everton have often been slow starters(08/09 - 2 wins in opening 9 games, last season 1 win in first four) citing injuries to key players and whatnot but this season there seems no legitimate excuse for being second bottom after 5 games. I don't doubt The Toffees will get it together at some stage but once again, it looks like Moyes and co will be blaming a poor start for their inevitable failure to achieve anything worthwhile.

The only team preventing Everton from being Rock bottom are West Ham who battled to a draw against Stoke in what I'm told was far from a classic game of football. Not that I'm claiming there is a connection but isn’t it curious that The Hammers' first point of the season came when Avram Grant wasn't there? A sign perhaps?

Finally, having seen Kenwyne Jones'* goal in that game, the most important football question of the week is surely thus: Is he now a must for the old Fantasy Football team given Stoke's rather direct approach? How many goals is he going to get this season???



*Rubbish knowledge: Kenwyne Jones has played for Stoke, Sunderland and Southampton. All teams that wear red and white stripes and begin with the letter 'S'. You can have that one on me...

Midweek Observations 19th - 21st January

1. Case of the ex

As you will all know, Carlos Tevez delighted the entire football loving nation by bagging a brace for Moneychester City to beat their debt ridden neighbours from Salford in the first leg of the Carling Cup semi-final. Whatever you think of the grotesque sums of money they spend on players and the long term ramifications for English football (That is, City eventually making every season a boring procession of trophy-winning dominance while the rest go bankrupt trying to keep up. Over-simplification? Perhaps, but it's pretty much what will happen), it certainly raised a smile on my face to see them get one over their arch nemesis. And to see a Manchester United old boy do it just made it all the more sweet. Granted, the reds will undoubtedly be favourites to progress following the return leg but in the mean time, I just have to say that anything that winds up a boot-licking moron like Gary Neville (pictured below) is OK with me.




2. May the fourth be with you

And so for all the agony, anger, despair and talks of crisis, failure, Armageddon etc at Anfield, all of a sudden the scousers are just one point off the sacred top four places that a month ago many would have suggested was out of their reach. As bad as they have been this season, and make no mistake, they have been pretty bad, Liverpool's result against Spurs was a reminder to all the naysayers and critics than Liverpool are not quite ready to give up their status in the fabled 'big four' without a fight. Of course, there's a huge chance they still won't finish in the Champions League places but suddenly, Rafa's guarantee that many mocked a few weeks back doesn't sound so stupid.

Spurs on the other hand only showed more evidence that, despite how far they have come in the last few years, they are still not quite ready to mix it with the elite. Every time they get close, there's always some kind of obstacle; inept managers, tactless boards, Chris Armstrong, Lasgane. One day, Spurs will get a clear run to success and in the 89th minute of the game to clinch the first title seen at White Hart Lane since 1961, the world will end. Mark my works.

Although saying that, if anyone can tell me why Jermaine Defoe's goal was disallowed, I'm all ears.


3. Arse up

L'Arsenal are now top of the league. Something quite momentous I've been led to believe (Call me crazy but I can't quite remember trophies being handed out in January). Can Arsenal win the league? Some would suggest that the determination shown to come back from 2-0 down against Bolton as a reason why they can. However, others will feel the fact that they went 2-0 down (at home!) to Bolton at all as the very reason they can't. Chelsea under Mourinho and Manchester United in recent seasons have shown the importance of a mean defence if you are to win the title. L'Arse, this campaign, have conceded more goals than those two, Villa, Spurs, Fulham (!) and Birmingham (!!!). Arsene Wenger has done brilliantly to get his side where they are but the real test of their apparent new found mental strength and ability to 'battle' will come in the next couple of weeks when they face a Villa side fresh off their goal orgy with Blackburn, Manchester United, Liverpool and a Chelsea side that humped them back in November. If, in the unlikely event, the gunners are still top after those games, only then can talk about the title get serious.


4. Willy's Big Tackle

Much has been made of William Gallas' admittedly horrible tackle on Bolton's Martin Davies. It makes a change to see perennial 'southern softies' Arsenal being accused of being over-physical while those well 'ard Northerners are the ones walking off the pitch with a few bruises.

Besides, given how Bolton have gone about playing 'football' over the years, any so-called assault on one of their players is surely just canceling out some misdemeanour they have committed in the past and restoring the natural order of things. I think Matt Taylor kneeling on the back of Fabregas' neck just three days before might have flicked the proverbial karma switch.


5. When the fat lady sings

On the subject of northern thugs, Blackburn Rovers, with former Bolton General, Sam 'The Walrus' Allardyce in charge were involved in a ten goal 'thriller with the Villa' in what some (me) are calling the match of the decade (so far). Somehow, despite conceding SIX goals, the Walrus still somehow came to the conclusion that because ONE of these goals could have been disallowed that it is somehow the fault of the official that the country wont be seeing Blackburn and both their supporters at Wembley for the Carling Cup final. The mind boggles. No wait! when it comes to Fat Sam, it really doesn't. It's very rare when I suggest football needs to take lessons from rugby but the Respect campaign becomes [more of] a big joke if people within the game aren't censured whenever they decide to have a pop and question the integrity of the officials.



6. Sol Disrespectful

Sulzeer Jeremiah Campbell has always struck me as a strange man. He's never been one for tact or showing any concern for anyone other than himself when it comes to his career. Maybe he's different in his personal life but all I can judge him on is what he does in terms of his football career. This is a man who as captain of Spurs thought "what do I care about a silly little hundred year old rivalry? I'm joining my team's arch rivals. For FREE". The same man who apparently decided at half time in a match for Arsenal that he didn't really fancy it so left. Of course, Sol was miraculously on good terms again when L'Arse made it to the Champions League final. Campbell is then said to have negotiated to have his Arsenal contract terminated to 'go abroad' before ending up at Portsmouth! After 3 years and one FA Cup with the South coast side Campbell was gone again. Whether this had anything to do with their impending financial apocalypse is open to speculation but seeing as Campbell next turned up in supposedly cash-rich Notts County colours, said speculation could only be intensified. Was it then a coincidence that following the former England man's sudden departure it was discovered that the Magpies didn't quite have the pot of gold they led everyone to believe? Now, after a shock return to the gunners, Big Sol is taking the now penniless scroungers of Fratton Park to court over some unpaid monies.

When the news broke, people screamed blue murder asking all sorts of accusing questions: How could he be so insensitive and unsympathetic to their plight? How can he sue a club struggling to stay afloat? Has this man no heart? Have you ever seen him and Osama Bin Laden in the same room? And so on.

Exsqueeze me but, at the risk of sounding unpopular, Isn't Campbell is perfectly entitled to take whatever steps he deems necessary to get what was promised to him? If you or I worked for a company that was struggling financially who were withholding what was promised contractually, wouldn't we be entitled to do exactly what Sol is doing? Once again, people are thinking football is a special case where the normal rules of life don't apply even to the point where some people are actually feeling sorry for the terribly run mess of an organisation that is Portsmouth FC.


7. And finally,

Going back to that Carling Cup semi... EVEN HESKEY SCORED!!!!