Hats the way to do it - Weekend Observations 22nd-24th January 2011: Part One

They say that things come in threes; Buses, Stooges, Wise men, Bronte Sisters and most relevant to the following blog, goals to complete a hat-trick.

It was a tale of two strikers and two hat-tricks at the top of the Premier League this weekend. For Manchester United, Dimitar Berbatov hit his third treble(which includes one quintuple) of the season in a 5-0 battering of Birmingham to consolidate top spot. Down in London, Robin van Persie almost single-handedly saw off Wigan with all three goals in Arsenal's convincing 3-0 home win lifting them to second.

As I always say about the gunners, when it clicks into place they look a frightening unit who have the beating of anyone. Consistency remains a problem but for the first time since Jesus was going through puberty it seems as though the spearhead of their attack is fit and firing.



Saturday's haul made it 6 in 3 for the Dutchman who is doesn't only contribute to the scoring charts but also provides a number of assists for his teammates. Share and share alike!

If van Persie can avoid a return to the physio room that has almost become a second home to him over the past few seasons then Arsene Wenger’s team are as good a bet as anyone to potentially prevent United from winning the league as well as challenge for other honours both now and in future.

That said, Saturday saw the reds look someway convincing for the first time in weeks as they swept aside a Birmingham team who seemed content to go to Old Trafford, bend over, look toward their more illustrious opponents with 'come hither' eyes and take a pounding all the while showing about as much resistance as Kerry Katona's g-string.

One could make the case that following their battling performance at St. Andrew's three weeks ago, Birmingham, under the leadership of one Sir Alex' cronies in Alex McLiesh, felt obliged to give United the freedom of Manchester on Saturday. If this wasn't the case then you really have to wonder why people rave about Roger Johnson who may as well been a traffic cone for the 'defending' he actually did.

As much as I'd like to, I can't be completely disingenuous towards United as I have to admit they looked about far better than they have all season. An ominous sign for the chasing pack. I have speculated before that if they could be as average as they have been so far but still head the table unbeaten, it will be curtains for the others when they actually started to play well.

Aside from Berbatov's hat trick, the fat waste of space Wayne Rooney who I condemned here just last week seems to have hopped into the DeLorean and travelled back to this time last year. Rooney looked some way near his best having been heavily involved in almost all five goals and showing some brilliant touches throughout. However, Shrek was still guilty of one of the misses of the season when he blinked and put a header wide from about a quarter of a centimetre out. Still only three for the season from the scouser.

A striker not concerned about his goal scoring form is multi-million pound Darren Bent who provided an instant return on the money Aston Villa invested in him with the winning goal in his new side's 1-0 victory over fellow frivolous spenders Manchester City.



People raise their eyebrows over the price and seem more than ready to point out his supposed limitations and highlight his dodgy period at Spurs where they seem to forget he was top scorer in his final season and had to play under the chaotic and constant managerial upheaval in his three years there. Admittedly, he may not have the attributes of some of his more high profile peers but as he showed with his goal on Saturday evening, he is more often than not in right place at the right time. He gets the goals, goals win games.

If nothing else, he's even somehow managed to make Gerrard Houlier smile!

As for City, the defeat saw them drop to third behind Arsenal and United who both have games in hand on them. It's not as if they were outplayed by Villa. They had their many chances but failed to find the back of net. One of those occasions that is often written off as a bad day at the office. However, but are bad days at the office becoming more frequent for City? Recently they have lost to Everton, lucky to come away from the Emirates with a draw and defensively suspect against Wolves. As much as I've touted them for success all season, they seem to be stuttering at present. Worryingly, the goal came from a Joe Hart error. Not his first over the last few weeks either. Has the England keeper curse struck again?

Villa's win over City lifted them away from the relegations zone which still contains a West Ham side unfortunate to come away from Goodison Park with a 2-2 draw against Everton. According to highlights, the Hammers actually looked half decent and put in a good performance despite the final result. The fact that they do seem to be fighting for their lives at present just highlights the absurdity of the Gold/Sullivan/Brady triumvirate and their constant undermining of cheerful Avram.

The main talking point from the game was the ridiculous red card issued to Frédéric Piquionne after he picked up a second yellow for celebrating his goal with his own fans. I don't much explanation is needed to describe how daft it is for this to be considered a bookable offence in the first place but equally daft are the players that continuously fail to recognise this and get themselves into trouble. The Frenchman has himself, and ONLY himself, to blame.

Also dropping points in the upper echelons of the Premier League, and after an outstanding Christmas period, the Tottenham train seems to be derailing somewhat at the minute after no league wins in their last three games. Their most recent setback came in Saturday's 1-1 draw against Newcastle at St. James' Park where in fact, Spurs were lucky to come away with anything following Aaron Lennon’s last gasp equaliser.

Apparently, 'arry was mugged on a scouting mission in Madrid last week. Against the magpies the tables were turned as it was his side doing the stealing as they managed to get away from the North with a barely deserved point.

A curious player is Lennon. Pacey and skillful but about as good with crosses as Dracula. The fact he can't use his left foot will always hinder his progress as player and I personally believe that this is solely down to those stupid tramlines he has shaved into the side of his head and eyebrows which clearly affect his balance.



Creeping up on City and pulling away from Spurs in a bizarre turn of events that I totally predicted would happen, Chelsea remembered that they were actually a half decent football team and put a laclustre Bolton team to the sword on Monday 4-0 with the sort of ruthlessness that had us all drooling and quaking in our boots in equal measure at the start of the season. Four goals from four different players - including the surface to air missle Didier Drogba decided to launch with is right foot - is a telling statistic that indicates that once more Carlo Ancelotti's men are working together as a cohesive, well-oiled unit and any talk of their demise has been vastly exaggerated. I think that so many people wanted to see Chelsea fall on their collective arse that they convinced themselves that Stamford Bridge was indeed falling down. A couple of recent convincing wins would suggest that this was never the case.

Whether or not they are 'back' remains to be seen. They have some serious ground to make up on the teams above them but in this most bizarre of seasons that seems totally devoid of anything that could even be mistaken for consistency, it would take a brave man to dismiss Chelsea's chances completely.

Part Two to follow

Weekend Observations 27th - 28th November 2010

So, Dimitar Berbatov ended something of a goal scoring drought by hitting FIVE as Manchester United publicly violated Blackburn Rovers in an encounter that proved to be about as evenly matched as a pack of hungry mountain wolves in a classroom full of anemic schoolchildren.



'Berba' has divided opinion amongst the Old Trafford faithful for a long time now with many deeming him a waste of money given the £30million transfer fee it took to bring him from White Hart Lane way back when. However, his form at the start of this season, culminating in a spectacular hat-trick against Liverpool, had some crazy people comparing him to a United legend of years gone by.

Since that day over two months ago, karma being what is would dictate that the Bulgarian would fail to find the net again until his deluge of goals on Saturday. These non-scoring matches meant of course that fans would do an about turn and once again suggest that Berbatov doesn't perform well enough, is clearly not good enough for United etc etc. This has ultimately led to possibly the most underwhelming reaction to a 5-goal haul and a 7-1 win ever.

Not much in the way of sycophantic praise this time around but rather the simple realisation that players have good days and bad days. Of course, sublime overhead kicks and hat tricks cannot be expected every week but as these strikes currently see Berba at the top of the Premier League scoring charts, United fans and commentators need to realise how good they've got it particularly when Wayne Rooney continues to perform worse than a deaf mute trying to win some kind of popular televised signing contest.

Amusingly, the team on the receiving end of the humping were Blackburn, managed by Big Sam Allardyce. Yes, the very same Sam Allardyce who recently suggested he would be better suited to managing Inter Milan or Real Madrid (although, given their own pasting in Monday's El Clasico, maybe Big Sam may not be so out of place!). I would say something about him eating humble pie right now but it probably wouldn't be the only pastry based snack he'd be stuffing down his large, insufferable throat.

United reached the Premier League summit at the expense of Chelsea who continue to stutter, this week only managing a 1-all draw at Newcastle. Like last week against Birmingham, the blues were unable to fully recover from conceding a sloppy early goal and capitalise on their possession and chances.

The one talking point of an otherwise unremarkable match however was the fact that Chelsea's often lethal strike force failed to get the better of the evergreen Sol Campbell who once again, refuses to be written off and continues to perform at the top level. Yes, the game was that uneventful.



In contrast, the later game on Sunday provided tons of incident as Tottenham come from behind once again to beat Liverpool 2-1 at White Hart Lane. Once again, comeback specialists Spurs showed they don't know when they are beaten as Aaron Lennon secured the three points in stoppage time, despite missing their fourth penalty of the season and the visitors missing a hat-full of chances to put the game out of sight when leading. This wasn't like limp Liverpool performances of earlier in the season as they took the game to the hosts. But for some 'charitable' Paul Konchesky defending and if Fernando Torres and Maxi Rodriguez had invested in some shooting boots, we may well be sitting here talking about Liverpool being back on track and laughing heartily when people suggest Tottenham could challenge for the title.

Speaking of getting back on track, after a week to forget, Arsenal beat Aston Villa 4-2 at Villa Park in a game that only differed from last weekend's North London Derby in terms of the final scoreline. Like last weekend, Arsenal bossed the first half. Like Last weekend the gunners were 2-0 up and half time. Like last weekend they allowed the opposition a way back into the game early in the second half but unlike last weekend they were able to kick on and make the game safe but not without a scare or two. The most interesting assessment of Arsenal I read (somehwere) this week was the conclusion that the only way Arsene Wenger's team can ever be sure of winning a given game is by scoring at least 4 goals. Anything less and the opposition will back themselves to find a way back into it.

Controversy and the confusion over offsides reared their respective heads when Villa scored their first and ultimately fruitless goal as Big John Carew was gingerly meandering about the penalty area while injured and quite obviously blocked the view of Arsenal “goalkeeper” Luckaz Fabianski as Ciaran Clark struck to reduce the deficit. Whether Carew was 'interfering' or not was the debate but alas, given that this isn't the first incident of this type this season alone, it's safe to say that the officials are going to almost always give the benefit of doubt to the attacking team. More goals, fun game, right? Difficult to see how defending teams can combat it.

The weekend saw a record number of goals scored. 41 in total as all 20 teams managed to find the back of the net somehow. And that my friends, is the most goals scored in any weekend of a league season since the Sky-Sponsored, money-driven, commercial entity that is the Premier League was reduced to 20 teams in 1995.

Everton's hit and miss seson continued as they totally capitulated in a 4-1 defeat at home against West Brom. This shock scoreline was partly down to Mikael Arteta being controversially sent off. However, the outcome was rarely in doubt thanks mostly to tormentor in chief, the vastly underrated Chris Brunt whose free kick to score the Baggies' second on the day was as good you are ever likely to see anywhere in football.

That said, even Brunt's amazing strike was nothing compared to the simply stupendous team effort from Bolton when Mark Davies finished off an incredible passing move to score the equaliser against Blackpool. Honestly, the result may have dented what small aspirations Wanderers have of playing in Europe next season, but Davies' goal and the passage of play that preceded it would not look out of place in the Champions League such was it's quality.



Finally, down at the bottom of the league, Wolves dramatic late winner against the ever unpredictable Sunderland will have taken a bit of pressure off of Mick McCarthy as his side closed in on the teams above them. Credit to the big dopey Yorkshireman for keeping the spirits up and continuing to get the best out of what is, let's be honest, a team of slightly above average Championship players. They have played well enough in recent games and it was only a matter of time before these performances were rewarded with results.

This would have wound up those cheeky cockneys from Upton Park. Ebanks-Blake's last gasp winner means that West Ham remain bottom of the table despite their first league win since forever against their direct rivals for the league's wooden spoon Wigan who themselves look nothing short of hopeless.


Results

Saturday

Aston Villa 2-4 Arsenal
Bolton 2-2 Blackpool
Everton 1-4 West brom
Fulham 1-1 Birmingham
Man Utd 7-1 Blackburn
Stoke 1-1 Man City
West Ham 3-1 Wigan
Wolves 3-2 Sunderland

Sunday

Newcastle 1-1 Chelsea
Tottenham 2-1 Liverpool

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Weekend Observations 18th - 19th September: Part One

Part One...

At the risk of sounding like a cheerleading, lobotomised Sky Super-duper Sunday fanboy, English football's very own Superclásico between the country's two biggest and most successful clubs took place at Old Trafford on Sunday. That's right, Manchester United versus Liverpool. Despite the relative lack of success of the latter in the last couple of decades, you can generally always count on the two sides producing an entertaining, or at the very least, eventful game and this latest encounter proved no exception.

The performance of Dimitar Berbatov and his subsequent hat-trick, including a jaw-dropping early contender for goal of the season, has seemed to have gotten everyone in bit of a tizzy (Incidentally, I missed the winning goal because for some reason I was showing people this on YouTube at the time. Why? A story for another day!). Funny, given the universal condemnation the Bulgarian has generally received since his big money move from Spurs two years ago. While not wanting to take anything away from what was obviously a fantastic performance, some of the praise has been just as OTT as the criticism which preceded it. This one game does not make him the new Cantona in the same way some indifferent performances over the last couple of seasons didn't make him the footballing equivalent of Public sector pay (expensive and unpopular - that's right. I keeps it topical...).

But alas, the fickle nature of many football observers means that while one day you can be God's gift to the sport, the very next could see you as the proverbial steaming pile of horse manure. Case in point; on the flipside of the beaming Berbatov coin is the brooding, sulk of Fernando Torres, who, despite being one of the league's most deadly strikers in recent years, is this year seemingly reduced being about as effective on the pitch as a door stop. This criticism for a player that has suffered with injuries for years is somewhat harsh and given the glaring deficiencies of the team - Glen Johnson's terrible crossing included - surrounding him, I'm not sure he should be expected to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Besides, for someone who is supposed to be out of form, he was still instrumental in both his side's goals as Liverpool attempted to stage something of a comeback at 2-0 down.



That said, getting back on level terms was less a reflection of Torres' or Liverpool's ability than it was of United's continued fragility. Following the draws at Fulham and Everton, the home side were on the verge of spunking away yet more points from a commanding position thanks to very questionable defending. They will certainly be thankful for Berbatov's apparently divine intervention (Maybe he had been blessed by the visiting Pope before the match this weekend).

One of United's other star performers on the day was Nani but rather than praising him for his football, most people will remember the laughable diving, play-acting and rolling around like he’d been shot every time there was a strong breeze in his general direction. What was just as amusing was the selective memory of his manager who conveniently overlooked this when criticising the above-mentioned Torres. As much as people respect Sir Alex Ferguson’s achievements, it's this kind of one-eyed, sanctimonious bias that makes him one of the most unpopular characters in football.

Speaking of managers making unpopular comments, once again, Arsene Wenger has managed to piss off all and sundry with his views on so-called tough tackling and how his squad of children and midgets need more protection against the big bad bully boys of English football. Naturally, this has brought scorn from the likes of Sam Allardyce, Owen Coyle and what seems like the entire population of Stoke. While Wenger may well have a point given the number of Arsenal players that seem to pick up career-threatening injuries as a result of English football's more 'robust' approach to tackling, he clearly doesn't have much support and his 'moaning' has led him once again becoming public enemy number one. You almost think that most of the country celebrated Darren Bent's late, late equaliser as a kind of "in your faaaace! AHHH" moment on Saturday evening.



Wenger was also apparently displeased that goal came in the 95th minute after only four minutes had been signalled by the fourth official. As we tread tedious old ground yet again, it baffles me how people within the game don’t seem to get that added time is always the minimum to play beyond the 90 and not the maximum.

Of greater concern to Arsenal should be another injury to Cesc Fabregas who, after his two performances last week, was looking somewhere close to his best and will be sorely missed.

Even at this very early stage of the season, the two points dropped by Arsenal could well prove crucial as could those pissed away by Manchester United last week. The reason for this is because of the devastating ease Chelsea are ripping their way through anyone who dares to get in their way. On Sunday, you'd be forgiven for thinking you were watching Hurricane Igor pummeling Bermuda such was their ruthlessness in the first half against Blackpool. How they only ended the game with four is a mystery.

As predictable as the game and scoreline were, the second half was still quite an intriguing affair. The away team seemed to prevent total humiliation by actually trying to have a go at The Blues rather than parking the bus and actually came close to scoring on a couple of occasions. That said, the patronising tone in which messes Gray and Tyler on Sky were talking about 'plucky little Blackpool' and what a 'nice club they are' was nauseating.

As good as Chelsea have been, they are yet to face any of the supposed 'Big Boys'. That all changes next week when they face their fellow beneficiaries of what Arsene Wenger would complain... sorry, describe as financial doping. In the battle of the banknotes, Manchester City will welcome the Champions to Eastlands next Saturday lunchtime hoping to make a statement about their own title credentials after an indifferent start to the campaign so far.

As many will no doubt point out in the coming days, this will be Ancelotti's teams' first big test despite their blinged up rivals still finding their considerably expensive feet. But having done the double over Chelsea last season – including a cracker at Stamford Bridge - City, as well as everyone else who wants something close to a competitive title race this season, will be hoping for more of the same this Saturday.



Part Two to follow...