Houllier Than Thou - Weekend Observations 5th-7th March 2011:Part Two

Part One here

Aside from the big game at Anfield, Sunday also saw Wolves and Tottenham battle out a 3-3 goal orgy at Molineux. A fantastic end-to-end game in which both sides went all out for the win saw a return to the scoresheet for Jermaine Defoe who had been previously been on a run so barren that he could have been mistaken for a 45 year old woman trying to get pregnant. Both his goals were high quality long range efforts that might some people reaching for the Big Book o' Footballing Cliches and declaring something about form being temporary and class being permanent. Either that or he'll now go another 11 months without finding the target.

The game was almost overshadowed by yet more refereeing controversy as Mark Halsey only booked Alan Hutton after the latter conceded a penalty in the first half where many would have found it hard to argue if a red had been shown. Even 'onest 'arry admitted as much after the game. What you could argue however, is that the original law is an ass given that the goal scoring opportunity isn't actually denied as such given that a penalty is awarded. But with the law as it stands, Hutton should have walked.

Halsey then ballsed up what would have been a Wolves equaliser when he disallowed a Richard Stearman header for a supposed foul on Gomes. Replays show the Wolves defender jumped fairly and if anything the foul was committed by the keeper who insisted on trying to pin Stearman to the ground as the ball was going in. Wolves eventually did draw level through Steven Fletcher so the decision wasn't as damaging as it may have been.



The draw was no good for either side. Spurs will feel they dropped two big points in their battle for fourth while Wolves would have welcomed a win to help in their ongoing battle against the drop.

Also involved in a thriller were Wolves' midlands rivals Aston Villa who were beaten 3-2 at Bolton. A result makes a mockery of manager Gerrard Houllier and his outrageous decision to field a weakened side and effectively throw their FA Cup tie against Man City in midweek. Aside from the fact his daft claim that his side 'can't beat City' given they already did just a few weeks back, the cup presented an opportunity for the club to salvage what has been a wretched season for the West Midlanders. You would think Houlier would have sought some inspiration from Villa's hated cross-town rivals who were dancing a merry jig on the Wembley surface just last week. Instead, his decision to 'rest' key players for the league blew up in his face as Villa were ultimately undone by two goals from former player Gary Cahill in one of those typical ironies that make football the sport we all know and love – Damien Duff pulled off the same trick in Fulham's 3-2 home win over Blackburn.

Speaking of Birmingham, the newly crowned Carling Cup holders were brought back down to earth as they returned to their battle for Premier League survival and a 3-1 home defeat against yet another midlands rival West Brom.

With so many teams in the region, it's difficult to keep up with who dislikes who more. Interestingly, all four of Wolves, Villa, the Blues and the Baggies are separated by just 4 points and all find themselves in the proverbial relegation dogfight.

It was a massive win for the team now managed by Roy Hodgson who, after what was a disastrous spell at Liverpool, seems to have found his level in the league's lower echelons. Good on him. For his sake, one would hope he keeps West Brom in the division. If I have to look at him being as depressed as he was every time he was in the Anfield dugout ever again, I might cry.

Finally, West Ham have managed to drag their way out of the drop zone for now after an impressive 3-0 victory over Stoke that may well now drag Tony Pulis' team into trouble.

In another vaguely interesting twist, new signing Demba Ba, rejected by Stoke, was on the scoresheet for the fourth time in as many matches for the Hammers who have hit the back of the net a massive 14 times overall during this same run of games. Is that a smile I see there Avram?



Match of The Weekend: Wolves 3-3 Tottenham

Goal of the Weekend: James Morrison

Skill of the Weekend: Luis Suarez



Follow me on Twitter

Midweek Observations 4th-5th January - Part One: Managers on the brink

The sack race is on...

Wow! Has there ever been a single round of fixtures that has put so many football managers 'on the brink'? At 10pm on Wednesday night, speculation was rife that anything up to FOUR managers could be getting the boot after some disappointing and shocking results. The metaphorical crosshairs have been aimed at London, Birmingham and to the surprise of literally nobody who has ever even seen a football, Liverpool.

At the time of writing no-one has been handed their pink slip but I very much imagine that none of the four men about to be discussed will have gone to bed after their respective matches and had anything close to a decent night's kip.

The first manager waking up in a cold sweat is Roy Hodgson – a man I and many others have spoken about at length already this season. It's safe to say that 'Woy' was never a popular choice amongst Liverpool fans. His appointment seemed as perplexing as it was unexpected. Despite a wealth of past experience and relative success at Fulham just last season, was Hodgson really expected to transform the fortunes of the scouse sleeping giant? On the contrary, it turns out he is doing nothing more than accelerating their decline. This is by far the worst Liverpool FC have been since I began watching football and things seem to have reached something of a nadir over the last week with the shock defeat to Wolves at Anfield followed by the 3-1 demolition at the hands of Blackburn.



Yes, Liverpool are so bad that they were comprehensively beaten by the current laughing stock of the premier league; a team who can't seem to go a day without embarrassing themselves somehow. This week alone they've tried to shoehorn themselves into transfers they have no realistic chance of ever completing coupled with the fact their chairman genuinely believes watching some football on telly is a sufficient qualification to own a football club. Yes, boys and girls, Liverpool were beaten by this!

What made this defeat all the more remarkable (aside from the fact Benjani grabbed a brace...) was the fact that Hodgson has only ever been sacked from one other job in his entire career. Where was that you ask? That's right, when he was manager of Blackburn. Can't imagine he is too fond of this area of Lancs.

Back in August, Chelsea were riding on the crest of a wave. The rest of the league could only look on in awe as the blues were running rampant up and down the country like some sort of modern day Mongol army with Genghis Carlo at the helm. Such was their dominance, many of us imagined that they would have the title already wrapped up by the stage of the season and would be able to put their feet up as the rest looked on in envy.

But it wasn't meant to be as a freak result at home to Sunderland in November set the wheels in motion for what has become an almighty crisis at The Bridge culminating in Wednesday night's 1-0 humbling at the hands of a Wolves side that began the evening bottom of the league.

Giving Carlo Ancelotti the boot would have been unthinkable three months ago but given the fact Chelsea have only managed 7 points from the last 27 available, dropped from top spot to fifth and are now 9 points behind Manchester United having played a game more, questions will no doubt be asked. Aside from results, performances, both from individuals and as a team have been poor and uncharacteristic mistakes are being made throughout the team.



This result would suggest that the former Milan man cant seen to motivate or inspire this side at the moment and the longer the poor run goes on, the more difficult it will be to turn things around. In theory, a game against a side at the foot of the table would have been ideal to try and get things back on track but such is Chelsea's current state of malaise that even a team featuring Christophe Berra and Kevin Foley couldn't prove to be beatable.

But can you really sack a man who less than a year ago won the club's first ever league and cup double? Well, Roman Abramovich has never been shy in disposing of underperforming managers before despite previous successes as Jose Mourinho and to a lesser extent, Big Phil Scolari will testify. All eyes will be on the mysterious Russian Oligarch to see if he will pull the trigger on the Italian.

Wolves' win lifted them from the foot of the table where they were once again replaced by West Ham. The hapless hammers were annihilated 5-0 by Newcastle at St. James' Park. Much has been made of Avram Grant's 'leadership' so far this season but having lifted himself out of the drop zone for the first time in what seems like decades, some poor deluded fools might have thought West Ham could push on in their fight against the drop.

It wasn't so much the fact that West Ham lost but more the fact they were so emphatically humiliated. When you allow Leon Best, a striker whose goals per game ratio is so underwhelming it would be more effective to have a single block of lego leading the line, to score a hat trick then you know there are serious problems. A recent run of semi-decent form provided a glimmer of hope but the footballing lesson they received in the north east has brought them right back to earth with a bang. There is losing and then there is this; the grim reality of the situation they face if things continue as they are. A truly damaging defeat which could prove to be the last straw as far as Grant is concerned.



West Ham are joined in the drop zone by a side that just two seasons ago almost found themselves playing Champions League football. How times have changed. When Martin O'Neill left in the summer, people expected Aston Villa to return to midtable obscurity. No-one could have imagined they would be embroiled in a relegation battle. Gerrard Houllier was expected to steady the ship but like the captain of the Titantic, he seems to have steered said ship straight into an Iceberg. A 1-0 home defeat to a stunning Phil Bardsley goal for Sunderland has condemned the villains to drop below the dreaded dotted line on many printed versions of the league table.

Admittedly, Houllier been hamstrung by injuries to key players and been forced to field a number of youngsters but quite simply, and at the risk of getting caught in the sticky web of football cliché, with the likes of Young, Agbonlahor, Albrighton and Brad 'Hellboy' Friedel in goal, this Villa team, albeit not the top four challengers of years gone by, is far too good to go down (Yep, I said it!). The former Liverpool boss must be under pressure to stop the rot before the damage becomes irreparable.

While not want to endorse the sacking of any of the above, if messes Lerner, Abramovich, David Squared and whoever is in charge at Liverpool these days were to pick any time to get shot of their respective managers, you'd think that the first week of January would be the ideal time to do so. The transfer window is open allowing any potential incoming replacements the opportunity to make any 'cosmetic' changes needed to get their teams back on track.

You can't imagine there is much surgery needed at Stamford Bridge and Villa Park given the quality of players in both sides relative to their current repective aspirations (title challege and surviving relegation). However, in the cases of Liverpool and West Ham, you imagine they’d be wanting a full scale face lift.

So... who's going first?

Part Two to Follow... maybe

Weekend Observations 11th - 13th December 2010: Part Two

After the sacking of Chris Hughton last week you would have thought football would wait a few weeks before going completely mental again. No. Just a few days later ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce was relieved of his duties at Blackburn Rovers. A shocking decision on the face of it given the fact he was doing a fairly decent job of maintaining Rovers’ position of mid table mediocrity. Seeing as the Venky’s group – Blackburn’s new owners – recently claimed they were happy in that very position, their complete change of stance is baffling. The fact they don’t seem to even have a replacement lined up makes the whole situation even more nonsensical.

Mind you, having pumped a fortune into buying the club, they probably took one look at the Allardyce’s ‘style’ of football and understandably came to the conclusion they wanted to see something much better.

Allardyce was handed his pink slip off the back of a 2-1 defeat in the Lancashire/Greater Manchester/Somewhere-in-the-north-east derby against his former club Bolton. Given the way Allardyce celebrated his current side’s equaliser in front of the fans who once worshiped the ground he walked upon, you have to say Karma gave him a double dose of whoop-ass. Stuart Holdon’s stunning quickfire response that ultimately proved to be the winning goal was just the starter before the main course of Monday’s dramatic dismissal.

The abovementioned Newcastle played their first game under Alan ‘5 and a half years’ Pardew and what do you know? They beat Liverpool 3-1 and looked quite good in the process. Andy Carroll was on the scoresheet yet again and is proving to be something of a revelation. Credit where it is undoubtedly due for him being able to make the transition from Championship to Premier League almost seamlessly – something many young players struggle to do.

The game also featured a now customary Torres one-on-one miss and Joey Barton... well, being Joey Barton. For the record, I don’t think his ‘gesture’ was that offensive but having just returned from a three match ban and everything that has happened to him IN HIS LIFE up until this point, you’d hope he would apply something like common sense and keep his nose clean. I’m not the first to say it and certainly won’t be the last but if Barton concentrated on his football and stopped behaving like a dickhead at every opportunity, he would actually be quite the player.

Dr. Jackal/Mr. Hyde also scored the key second goal in the game. The Premier League have apparently moved to ‘remind him of his responsibilities’ but it would help if Barton actually what the word responsibility actually meant.



Now, before Geordies start proclaiming Pardew to be their new Messiah, let’s not forget that this is still Hughton’s team.

In keeping with the theme of under fire managers, Roy Hodgson has once again had to come out fighting this week in face of more criticism and speculation over his future. Hodgson is in danger of doing irreparable damage both to his reputation and to this current Liverpool team. A good manager no doubt but as the season has worn on, it has become clear that Hodgson quite simply won’t be able to deliver what the club wants and needs: Champions League football and eventually a title push. His terrible personal away record doesn’t appear to show any sign of improving either.

Sharing their neighbours cause for concern are Everton whose traditional slow start to the season has dragged itself almost to the halfway stage after a 0-0 draw with Wigan. “Some” people might say that you insist on signing AND playing Jermaine Beckford instead of a real striker then you deserve to sit just two points off the relegation zone... some people!

With West Ham putting up about as much of a fight in the relegation battle as an anaemic schoolchild in the UFC, Wolves picked up a massive 1-0 win against midlands rivals Birmingham while across the region, Gerard Houllier’s Aston Villa scored a much needed 2-1 win over rivals West Brom. All four of these sides have some sort of dislike or resentment towards one another. Can’t imagine the West Midlands was a fun place to be over the weekend.

Stephen Hunt’s decisive goal and Wolves’ subsequent win opened up a three point gap on the hapless hammers as well as inching themselves closer to safety. The bottom of the table remains congested as ever and Villa’s welcome victory gives Gerrard Houllier some much needed breathing space after a poor recent run. Those same people who say those unkind words about Jermaine Beckford may also suggest that it is no coincidence that Villa finally won a game after dropping Richard Dunne.

Results

Saturday

Aston Villa 2-1 West Brom
Everton 0-0 Wigan
Fulham 0-0 Sunderland
Newcastle 3-1 Liverpool
Stoke 0-1 Blackpool
West Ham 1-3 Manchester City

Sunday

Bolton 2-1 Blackburn
Tottenham 1-1 Chelsea
Wolves 1-0 Birmingham

Monday

Manchester United 1-0 Arsenal

Follow me on Twitter

Weekend Observations 16th - 17th October 2010 - Part One

Mouthing off about a lot this week...

Admit it, irrespective of the so-called 'magic' of the Premier League and football's uncanny ability to surprise, you all thought that the mismatch between Blackpool and Man City this weekend would be a dull, predictable procession with the result a foregone conclusion for the blues, didn't you? Ok, yes, City still won but no-one could have imagined it would have been half as entertaining as it turned out to be in the end. Sky got it right picking it as their 'Super Sunday' match.



Firstly, credit must undoubtedly go to the tangerines who, on the basis of their second half performance, didn’t really deserve to lose but sadly came away with the sum total of f*ck all. For my money, they actually deserved to win the game. Charlie Adam pulling the strings in the centre of the park has taken to Premier League football like a duck to water and looks a player that could continue to play at the top level even if Blackpool are relegated as expected come May. I also have to eat a jumbo slice of humble pie after seeing Luke Varney playing for Charlton once and loudly demanding to know why he was a professional footballer (no-one answered). He's really stepped up his game and looked brilliant this season. Gave Boateng no end of grief on Sunday.

But Alas, another week and yet more complaints about the standard of officiating at the supposed top level. Had the ref and linesmen been more competent, we’d probably be sat here talking about a great Blackpool win. Naturally, Ian Holloway was pretty peeved post-match at THREE perceived injustices against his team. As much as I agree that the muppets tasked with enforcing the rules have once again got it wrong, Blackpool are playing with big boys now and far from being the poor picked on small club that Holloway was implying, he and others ought to realise that quite simply, these things will happen in football. He calls for video technology have struck a cord but what he is asking is for every single contentious decision – such as Tevez' 'foul' in the build up to his and City’s second goal – to be scrutinised. An impractical suggestion which would simply ruin the game.

For City, that man Charlie Tevez was once again awesome and the blues are surely laughing heartily at their penny-pinching neighbours who decided he 'wasn’t worth the money'. The only question mark would be their current over-reliance on him and in particular, his goals. If City are to keep up this apparent title challenge, the Argentine is either going to have to maintain this rich vein form for the rest of the season or others might have to start chipping in a bit more. One player who looks totally incapable of contributing is Emmanuel Adebayor who had a stinker on this rare occasion he was selected to start. No longer playing with that trademark (and annoying!) smile on his face and really struggling for form. Can't say I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him.

City haven't exactly been the most easy on the eye this season (In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve been to more entertaining funerals) but by God are they effective. It was interesting to note that having started this game 4-4-2 with view to being more 'adventurous' they couldn't get their game together. Once Adebayor was replaced with the pant-wettingly good David Silva and they reverted back to a more pragmatic 4-4-1-1 they were able to take full advantage.

Preceding that minor classic at Bloomfield Road was "biggest Merseyside derby for years" as Everton welcomed Liverpool with both sides floundering at the wrong end of the table before kick off. Goals from Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta sealed the win for the home side who looked so comfortable throughout the game, they may as well have erected some deck-chairs as Joe Cole lumped aimless balls into the box and Lucas made yet another sideways pass. Liverpool offered nothing which makes Roy Hodgson's post-match proclamation that this was one of their best performances under him all the more perplexing. The opening stages saw constant Everton pressure pinning the reds back in their own half. Upon scoring their second, the Toffees were able to take their foot of the pedal, sit back and happily deal with whatever their hapless neighbours threw at them which actually didn't amount to a great deal in the end.



Much is said about the lack of quality in the Liverpool squad but even their 'better' players with the exception of Gerrard failed to step up. Torres was anonymous pretty much the whole match while Joe Cole showed exactly why Chelsea won't be losing much sleep over his summer departure anytime soon.

And so, it goes without saying that the season has started poorly for Liverpool and the club are very much deserving of the 19th place they currently occupy in the league. Regardless of how many votes of confidence he gets from his new bosses, Hodgson must skating on the thinnest of thin ice. After all the tedious and mind-numbing courtroom palaver over the last week, you'd think that John W. Henry and NESV will be expecting a lot more for their considerable buck and even if they are clueless to the finer details of the game, there are at least 300 million reason why they need to arrest the problems on the pitch sooner rather than later.

Everton on the other hand are looking to steady the ship after their own poor start to the season. Despite their match-winning midfield, troubles remain up front as Yakubu is currently looking about as mobile Mt. Kilimanjaro (and twice as big!) while Jermaine Beckford who came on as a sub, is looking so frightfully out of his depth in the Premier League that coast guards are on standby each game to make sure he doesn't drown. Convoluted metaphor? Don't act like you expected any better...


Part Two to follow...

Weekend Observations 2nd-3rd October 2010: Part 1

How the mighty have fallen. If at any point in the last 50 years somebody told you that the great Liverpool FC would by in the relegation zone 10 games into a new season having lost to both Northampton Town and Blackpool already, you’d have probably been sectioned under the mental health act, hauled off to a loony bin and forced to spend the remainder of your days trying to have futile conversations with some nutter who reckons crunchy peanut butter is better than smooth (it isn’t!).

Things seem to have reached a nadir this week with the aforementioned home defeat to a Blackpool side that, let’s be honest, shouldn’t even have had a prayer going to Anfield. Charlie Adam and Luke Varney – a player who struggled to get into the Derby County first team no less – scored the goals to seal a famous victory for the Lancashire side and send all kinds of reverberations around Merseyside. The game also saw Fernando Torres limp off and one of the last things the scousers need right now is such in an important player confined to sitting on the stands.

Things surely can’t really get much worse but if they do, God help Roy Hodgson.

Speaking of Roy, recent weeks have seen murmurs of discontent at his stewardship steadily increase. I’ve always had respect for him and what he has done in his career. Not just because he seems to be one of the few ‘nice guys’ left in the game but because unlike some of his contemporaries, he actually went out and furthered his managerial education by actually taking charge of teams throughout Europe rather than sitting around blowing smoke up his own arse like certain other managers I could care to mention.

Sadly, despite his years of experience, the Liverpool job currently looks a stretch too far. Despite their relative lack of success, the hot seat at Anfield is still one of the most prestigious jobs in the English game and should require more on your CV regarding success in this country than merely saving Fulham from relegation and taking them to the Europa League final. Not to disregard these achievements but you must be mad, simple, drunk, high or all of the above if you think this will translate to successfully managing a team used to top four finishes and regular participation in the latter rounds of the Champions League.




Admittedly, the man Roy replaced had a disastrous final season with the reds and found his position untenable by the time he walked away from Merseyside with a considerable wedge of lovely compensation cash in his back pocket this summer. However, Rafa’s successes should not be forgotten. Rafa Benitez took the team to two Champions League finals (winning one), an FA Cup final (winning that) and was within a whisker of winning the Premier League in 2009. Getting rid of Rafa meant that it was essential to bring in someone better. The Liverpool fans would have hardly been jumping for joy at the appointment of Hodgson as he was most certainly NOT a better option than what was in place already. You have to wonder what the board were even thinking by bringing him in.

And so to the board. Unless you have had your eyes shut, your fingers in your ears, no reception on your iphone and been living under a rock, in a cave, in Bermondsey, South London, you will have been unable to avoid the tedious protests of Liverpool fans (including this embarrassment) against American owners George “Darth Vader” Gillett and Tom “Freddy Krugger” Hicks who have, in true dastardly fashion, crippled the club financially leaving them on the brink of disaster. Without going into too much detail, Liverpool FC have gone from football’s regal gentries to debt-ridden cash-strapped paupers (Despite somehow finding around 16 million quid down the back of the sofa to piss away on Christian Poulsen and Raul Meireles as well as the no doubt princely sum Joe Cole is receiving each week to repeatedly run into blind alleys...) and the fans are far from pleased. Somehow this is supposed to have affected on the field performances. Personally, I struggle to see how Glen Johnson’s inability to defend and Lucas even existing is somehow down to the owners but hey, I’m just an idiot who writes football blogs thinking people actually read them. Do the likes of Maxi Rodriguez or Ryan Babel even know who runs the club let alone care enough for it to affect how they play? This all just seems like a convenient excuse for continued poor performances to me.

In any instance, by the time you read this, new owners may be in place which means in a few weeks we’ll either be sat here wondering what the hell we were all worried about or Liverpool fans will find someone else to blame for their continued decline.

The upcoming Merseyside derby against an Everton side fresh off their first win of the season should be an interesting encounter.

The other big Super duper Sunday clash of titans encounter of Sunday was the anti-climactic and wholly predictable procession of Arsenal going to Stamford Bridge for their annual beating at the hands of Didier Drogba. Yes, in an event about as shocking as a deactivated electric chair in an abandoned prison, The Arsenal showed up, dominated possession, made a lot of passes, missed some chances and lost the game 2-0. This is hardly a one-off could be applied to any recent encounter between the two sides. It’s also worth mentioning that phenomenal statistic that Drogba has now scored 13 goals in 13 appearances against the gunners. Seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Unfortunately for Arsenal, they cannot feel hard done by and really would be unwise to try and take heart from a ‘good performance’. Wenger seems to have forgotten how to win or at the very least, forgotten that in these ‘big’ games, winning is more important than playing well and until someone jogs his memory, I’ll just be cutting and pasting this exact same paragraph following defeats against Chelsea, Man Utd and now maybe even Man City for the foreseeable future. Ray Wilkins readily admitted that Chelsea “weren’t pretty” on Sunday and why would they need to be when they get the required result? There’s more than one way to skin a cat and as the fans sang on Sunday, “That’s why they’re champions”.

Wenger may well point to injuries but you have to wonder if the outcome would have been any different even with Fabregas Vermaelen, van Persie et al. Lee Dixon pointed out on MOTD2 that in some 30 odd games against the ‘big two’ since Arsenal’s last league win 6 years ago, they have won less than a quarter of these. A damning statistic that Wenger would do well to think about before proclaiming his team to be some kind crusaders of ‘good’ football.

As an aside, I’d very much like to think the injury suffered by Alex late in the game was a result of the ferocity in which he hit that scorcher of a free kick for the second goal.



Chelsea’s only challenge at the minute seems to be unsurprisingly coming from Manchester. Interestingly enough, it’s the blues rather than the reds who are on Chelsea’s proverbial tail. United were involved in their fourth away draw of the season at Sunderland last weekend. This time around however, defensive frailties cannot be blamed as the match finished goalless. Having been out for so long, it’s easy to forget how important a player Rio Ferdinand actually is. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that his return this past week has seen United keep two successive clean sheets including one at the Estadio Mestalla in the Champions League last Tuesday against a Valencia side that currently tops La Liga ahead of Barcelona and Real Madrid. If Ferdinand can stay fit, United may well be able to go some way to providing some kind of challenge to stop Chelsea wrapping up the title before the clocks go back.

Part Two to follow...

Things I Learnt Watching Football This Weekend (12th - 13th January 2008)

Chelsea Like Freddie? Newcastle fans to boo Shearer? Benitez out???

1. The African Nations Cup will have a big impact on the Premier League

OK. So, CSKA Fulham might not struggle like many predicted (more on them later) but there is no doubt that football's most inconveniently placed tournament will cause problems for certain sides in the League. You only have to look at the unspeakably dire performance of 'arry's Pompey side at Sunderland yesterday. So bad they were, they even allowed Charley Uchea's less famous cousin to bag a brace against them. Maybe, the speculation about 'arry's approach from Newcastle had an effect on the players or maybe, the climate in 'oop north' in Sunderland was not conducive to playing football (when is it ever?). However, let us cast our minds back to the last time Portsmouth were in the North East when they absolutely bullied Newcastle into submission. 'arry has moulded a side full of big, strong African players whose physicality has proven too much for most teams they've travelled to this season. Strength has been Pompeys's most useful tool this season and helped propel them up the table. At the stadium of light, without the likes of Utaka, Diop, Kanu and Muntari, the weaknesses were as clear as day. This month could be telling for a side like Pompey and ultimately may prove to be the difference between Europe and midtable obscurity.

That said, I have no sympathy as the tournament existed long before African players plied their trade in Europe and it's not as if it should come as a suprise to a manager who CHOOSES (not forced) to sign an African player.


2. ANY football match is capable of throwing up a story. No matter how awful the game.

EVERY F****** YEAR Sky TV think it best to broadcast what is, quite frankly, football's least passionate derby match. EVERY YEAR Bolton v Blackburn is on TV, EVERY YEAR it's an awful game of football. But get this, EVERY YEAR I actually waste two hours of my life actually watching it, I expect some kind of miracle. EVERY YEAR I end up moaning at the inevitable snorefest and vowing never again. Why change the habit of a lifetime though, eh? How often has it been said that a goal doesn't belong in a certain game? Yesterday was certainly one of those occasions as Kevin Nolan's contender for goal of the season lit up a typically dull lancashire derby. The technique of the volley was incredible. No doubt some crazy fool will be touting him for England once again.

Also, you have to love a last minute winner. Even if it does come from Jason 'One of the most feared strikers in the premiership according to wikipedia' Roberts.


3. Cristiano Ronaldo may never win a penalty again.... but may never need to!

The boy has his many, many, MANY critics. For all his talent, he's hardly the most noble of players on the pitch.... in fact, I wont sugar coat it: he dives. He is a persistent diver and will dive for as long as he's playing football. However, times do arise when he is hard done by. For me, Steven Taylor extended his leg and prevented the footballer of the year in waiting from progressing. If he went down easily, he had every right to as it was a foul. Still, what better way to respond. Rather than sulking or blowing his top and nearly give himself an Aneurysm like Old Taggart (your team won 6-0. How could you possibly be moaning???) on the sidelines The Artist Formerly Known As Fake Ronaldo stepped up and led the demolition job on a Newcastle side that very few outside of St. James' Park would have sympathised with. Oodles of Dream Team points for the Portuguese as well.


4. Roy Hodgson wont save Fulham.

I've always liked Roy Hodgson. While the likes of Alan Curbishley sit around moaning about not getting the England job when all he has ever achieved is a nice mid table finish or eight, a man like Roy Hodgson is going abroad and honing his skills as a manager on the continent in the most obscure areas of the game. His CV is glowing and if he was to have a pop at the FA then you'll hear no argument from me. Sadly, his most recent premiership job saw him doom Blackburn Rovers and the same unfortunately is set to happen with a very poor Fulham side. It's coming up to two years since their last away win. Maybe they'll get one at Barnsley next season.


5. Arsene Wenger's attitude may cost Arsenal some serious honours in the long run.

While you may criticise his lack of faith in English players and sing some very libelous things about him at games. There's very little you can say negative about Arsene Wenger. The man is no doubt a genius and turned a good Arsenal team into a GREAT L'Arse team over the last decade or so. However, Arsene is a man that chooses to stick by his principles regardless of what happens. Arsenal have not had a decent title challenge for years because Wenger has insisted on blooding youth rather than spending money. Despite the draw with Birmingham (and subsequent wrecking of my accumulator. Nice one lads!) Arsenal have performed admirably this season and sat on top of the table for most of the campaign. To not win it from here would not be a disaster but it would be disappointing. With the Salford Bay Rowdies hitting form and looking to buy as well as CSKA Fulham reinforcing their already strong squad, Arsene must stop insisting that he cannot improve on what he has. Some have said that the gunners don't have the squads like their rivals to last the course. For me, L'Arse are crying out for a winger/goal-scoring midfielder right now and with the right man(I'm never an advocate for spending for the sake of spending), the Emirates could well see it's first league title. Unfortunately, Wenger's reluctance to spend may prove to be his undoing.


6. I cant say for certain that Liverpool will finish fourth.

They probably will but with 16 games left, and the likes of City, Everton, Villa and Pompey on the horizon playing as well as they have thus far, if you're a red you have to hope Rafa has a trick or two up his sleeve. Liverpool are not playing well, and more importantly, they aren't playing well. After this Saturday, the last month has seen them face 'Boro, Derby, Reading and Wigan and only just beat Derby. If we throw Luton in the mix that's five games that any serious title contender should be winning comfortably. These results only suggest that Liverpool are not in the same class as L'Arse, The Rowdies and CSKA Fulham ...and it's not just because of the rotation system. The way things are going on the pitch, the reported off pitch problems and today's revelation that the board have already been looking elsewhere, I seriously doubt Rafa will still be on Merseyside come the start of next season.


7. CSKA Fulham are definitely in the title race.

Dont get it confused! They may have lost a few players to injury and African nations etc but Chelsea under Abramovich will just keep on coming back like a movie baddie who refuses to die. Lose Drogba? So what? Buy Anelka (who almost instantly showed his class on his debut might I add...). That's essentially why so many people are against this CSKA regime. Unlike Pompey, people at Stamford Bridge have barely batted an eyelid at the African Nations cup. No longer will they ever have to 'just deal with it' like anyone else. They assemble an incredible squad of players and will continue to spend the money as soon as one needs replacing. Imagine a world where your overdraft is infinite and your bank couldn't care less if you ever pay it back. The comprehensive victory over spurs simply illustrates how strong they are as a team and a squad. I said they'd be champions at the start of the season and I wish I'd put money on it when they drifted out to 12-1.


8. Newcastle wont sort themselves out for a very long time so the Geordies had better sit tight.

Things at St. James' will probably get worse before they get better. The term poisoned chalice has been branded about a lot in reference to what has been described as the impossible job. I cant believe that I actually feel sorry for The Walrus following last week's events. Were they expecting to be at the top of the league at this stage? Geordie fans had a moment in the sun in the mid-nineties with Kevin Keegan which in hindsight was probably the worst possible thing to happen to the club. The fact they never won the title (or anything else for that matter) somehow raised expectations so high. Now, agitation spreads like wildfire as soon as things don't go their way and before you know it, another manager loses his job and they're right back to square one. With no stability, I'm sorry but Newcastle wont achieve a thing. They currently sit 11th in the league behind the obvious 4 and also Everton, Man City, Portsmouth, Villa, Blackburn and West Ham. With the exception of the Hammers and City who have had huge cash injections to aid their cause, Every other side has been a result of long term (2-3 years) building. These teams have earned their right to be in the top half because they have shown patience and reaped the rewards. Giving Fat Sam only seven months is not showing patience and whoever comes in should not be expected to 'wallop Chelsea' (the exact words of the man in charge) within a couple of months.

Alan Shearer, eh? I'd like to see it just so he gets found out. If you never thought you'd ever Newcastle fans booing their Messiah just give him the job and see how quickly it happens.


9. The Derby & County - The pub side currently masquerading as a premier league football team - are rubbish

Although technically, I didn't learn that this week.


10. With only one relegation place left, any from 6 could still go down and make the race for survival quite interesting.

For me, despite their precarious positions, there is no chance that Spurs and Newcastle will go down (Imagine if they did though...) so, it's between Reading, Boro, Bolton, Wigan, Brum and Sunderland for the last place. Weekends like this one could decide it. Wigan won a game they were expected to, Reading and Bolton lost games they might have fancied at least a draw from, Boro and Brum picked valuable points that they might not have expected but Sunderland picked up an unexpected win that might prove crucial come May. It's hard to really get into it because it will flip flop a lot between now and then with so many factors coming into play. I for one just hope it goes down to the last day again. In recent years relegation battles have been far more entertaining than the title chase and so may it continue this season.