In Attendance: Serie A - Inter Milan v Cagliari. 19th November 2011

As I have mentioned before, when I were a wee lad growing up, I, like many others of my generation, was a huge fan of Serie A on Channel 4 back in the 1990s. Terrestrial TV coverage of what was perceived to be the best league in the world at the world was the kind of footballing luxury the modern day armchair fan would come to look on with the greatest sense of nostalgia – especially given the small fortune one needs to shell out nowadays for the 'privilege' of watching Stoke City and the like.

During this Serie A golden era, Juventus and AC Milan were the two dominant forces – sharing eight titles between 1992 and 1999. However, this is not to say that every campaign was a predicable two team procession. Both sides needed to be on their toes to fend off the strong challenge coming from the likes of Parma, Udinese, Sampdoria and Fiorentina year on year.

You could almost always rely on the Italian league throwing up something of a competitive title race. The strength of the division wasn't merely restricted to the big two. For example, following their Scudetto success in 1996, AC Milan finished a lowly 11th position 12 months later. Similarly, Juventus ended the 1998/99 campaign in 6th place despite successive championships in 1997 and 1998 and THREE Champions League finals (96, 97, 98). The Roman clubs broke up the cartel at the turn of the century as, firstly, Lazio (2000) and then Roma (2001) were crowned champions of Italy.

The most notable absence on the illustrious list of league winners was AC Milan's city rivals. While the Rossoneri would regularly dine at the top table both domestically and abroad, Internazionale were left raiding the bins behind motorway service stations for whatever scraps that had been thrown away. It is safe to describe the end of the 20th century as a period of underachievement for the Nerazzurri. A title win in 1989 was followed by a lean decade that yielded just three measly Uefa Cup successes in 1991, 1994 and 1998 – also, quite incredibly, losing the 1997 final to Schalke on penalties. For most, that haul wouldn't look bad but for one of Italy's big names, it was a poor return, particularly given the vast spending of chairman Massimo Moratti following his acquisition of the club in 1995. The oil tycoon was certainly not afraid to splash the cash in his attempts to match the successes of City rivals AC. This period saw some stellar names turn out in the famous Black and Blue including Ivan Zamorano, Diego Simeone, Gianluca Pagliuca, Alvaro Recoba, Youri Djourkaeff, our very own Paul Ince. Aron Winter, Paulo Sousa, Roberto Carlos and of course, the jewel in the crown, Ronaldo.



The noughties saw the likes of Christian Vieri, Clarence Seedorf and Fabio Canovarro sign up yet success still very much eluded Inter. Moratti would also go through managers quicker than most men go through underwear with some 12 men burning their arses in the San Siro hotseat between 1995 and 2003. Roberto Mancini was then handed the reigns and it all suddenly went right as he oversaw the clubs most successful period since the 1960s, initially winning back to back Italian Cups in 04 and 05 before setting his sights on the big prize.

However, Inter's subsequent glory, and Italian football as a whole during this period, is punctuated by a huge asterisk. In 2006, the first of what was to be Mancini's three successive Scudetti was only awarded due to the fact the actual champions Juventus were involved in the infamous Calciopoli match fixing scandal which saw them stripped of the title and relegated to Serie B. City rivals Milan were also implicated, so too Fiorentina, Lazio and Reggina. Inter themselves, as well as others, were investigated but exonerated.

What followed was a period of dominance for il Nerazzurri as they steamrolled pretty much all before them like some sort of black and blue erm... steamroller. Mancini's hat trick of titles didn't save him from trigger happy Moratti however, as he was dispatched in favour of a certain Jose Mourinho. In just two years, the Special One won consecutive league titles, the second in 2010 coming as part of an unprecedented treble including the Copa Italia and of course, the Champions League – a trophy they hadn't won since 1965.



As the charismatic Portuguese completed his fairytale ending with the club and rode off into the sunset, the mediocrity of the 90s returned with a bang as he was succeeded by long time adversary Rafa Benitez. In what seemed like an Italian revisioning of The Damned United, Benitez proved to be a disaster. The champs were now very much chumps and Rafa was shown the door before the Christmas decorations had even been put up at the team found themselves 13 points off the lead.

In one of the more strange football appointments, AC Milan legend Leonardo was given the job and managed to steer the club to a second place finish behind his former club and another Copa Italia win last season. However, a dismal attempt to defend the European Cup saw the club finish second in their group to Gareth Bale and a take a shoeing from their apparent European nemesis Schalke in the quarter finals. Leonardo thought 'sod this' and headed for Paris.

Former Genoa manager Gian Piero Gasperini was entrusted with the task of bringing back the good times to Inter but his frightfully overambitious 3-4-3 formation lasted a mere 5 games at the start of this season (losing four!) before he was given the boot. Former Chelsea boss Claudio Renieri has since been appointed.

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Each year, a group of us celebrate a mate's birthday by traveling to some city in Europe to sample the local cuisine, sample the local beer, sample some more beer and then taking in a local football match. Having previously embarked on trips to the Alianz in Munich to watch Bayern and the Bernabeu to see Real Madrid, we decided this year to head to Milan. This particular weekend saw Inter take on Cagliari so that would be what we would be watching.

I'd previously only been to Italy once before way back at the tender and testosterone filled age of 15. A football tour in Rimini when my team-mates and myself would exaggerate our prowess as players in order to convince women to share intimate times with us. Naturally, this was largely unsuccessful but we did manage to win our matches on the pitch. Albeit friendlies against teams younger than us but a win is a win as they say. I also decided to purchase a football shirt. As weird coincidences would have it, the only one that remained in the shop I went to was that of Inter Milan so I had to have it (notwithstanding my supposed allegiances to Parma). Who would have known that on my very next visit to the country, I would be to watching them in the flesh? Spooky, eh?

We arrived at the very impressive and very imposing 80,000 seater Stadio Giuseppe Meazza (Otherwise known as the San Siro) early enough to buy cheap merchandise and grab a pre-match beer. The San Siro is a large arena and as such, the area surrounding the ground is quite vast allowing for the swathes of fans if ever a match is approaching anything near a sell out. Given that Inter were languishing in 17th place and Cagliari only slightly better in 10th and the start of play, this was hardly like to be the case this time around. Some sources online have the total attendance at 56,000 but from where we were sat, you couldn't convince me that the stadium was even half full.

If the club's poor form was keeping fans away, the match itself did very little to suggest they will be coming back in their droves. Admittedly, missing from the starting line up were big names such as Lucio, Maicon, Diego Forlan and Wesley Sneijder who pulled up with injury in the warm up. Diego Milito was on the bench.

As the home side started sluggishly and failed to impose themselves with any great conviction, it became almost inconceivable to think of them as Champions of Europe a mere 18 months ago. The first half was an uneventful snoozefest with the noticeable exception of Dejan Stankovic living up to his name by having something of a stinker. The Serbian midfielder seemed to be in an amusing competition with himself to see how often he could give the ball away.

Up top, new golden boy Giampaolo Pazzini struggled but this was in part due to inadequate service and the selfishness of Mauro Zarate who may or may not have been fitted with those blinders that racehorses often wear as he seemed totally incapable of ever spotting or trying to pass to better placed team mates. Apparently, Zarate has an assist bonus written into his contract to encourage him to be more selfless. On the evidence of the opening 45 minutes, he may have forgotten about the it.

The evergreen Javier Zanetti, a permanent fixture in the Inter side since those days in the 1990s and a more than loyal servant of well over 500 games and 16 trophies, was arguably the best player on the pitch in the first half. The Argentine veteran covered the entire left hand side of the pitch with the kind of ease that shouldn't be afforded to a 38 year old in the twilight of his career.

Pazzini had and long range effort tipped onto the crossbar by Cagliari goalkeeper Michael Agazzi and he repeated the trick from a Zarate free kick. Aside from this, there was very, very little to shout about for either side as they went in goalless at the break.

In typically classy Italian fashion, espressos are sold at half time in the San Siro. I was tempted to buy at least three to try and keep me awake after the dreariness I had been forced to endure.

One of our group remarked at half time how big the pitch looked. This was the illusion because the game was being played and snail's pace and both sides seemed to be reluctant to press the opposition a great deal. As a result, the players often found themselves with a lot of time on the ball but incapable of doing anything useful with it. Inter dominated possession but more often than not this would manifest itself in simply playing passes between the back four and the midfield.

Zarate was thankfully taken off and replaced summer signing Ricky Alverez. 10 minutes into the second half, an Alvarex free kick from the left was scrappily scrambled home by Ita-zilian midfielder Thiago Motta. Even from the other end of the stadium, there was more than a slight suspicion that Motta may have been offside. A scrappy, dubious goal seemed quite fitting for the occasion though.

Six minutes later, it was 2-0 as Alvarez on the right wing got the better of the left back before playing a 1-2 with Cambiasso then switching the ball to Coutinho who cut inside and hit a low right footed drive into the bottom corner beating Agazzi at his near post.

After that little spell of excitement, Inter saw out the rest of the match with little trouble. Cagliari pulled one back in the last minute through sub Larrivey but the damage was done and the game ended 2-1. Much to the relief of everyone unfortunate enough to watch it.


szólj hozzá: INT

Italian Football has always had a reputation for being somewhat slow and over-cautious so the tempo of the game was no surprise to me but what was really unusual was the lack of quality. Alvarez looked fairly lively when introduced but still looks raw. Granted, Inter were missing some key players and probably had one eye on, what looked like at the time, a key Champions League encounter in the week but it was strange that there was nobody in the heart of the team to truly dictate the play for them. The end result being they very much looked like a team floundering around the lower half of the table. The Tinkerman has a lot of work to do. All in all, I will unashamedly declare this to be one of the worst football matches I've ever seen in the flesh.

Once the top league on the continent, now the Italian league sits comfortably behind England, Spain and even Germany. A point highlighted by the fact that the poor performances of Italian sides in Europe in recent years has seen them lose their fourth Champions League spot to the Germans. Serie A has quite clearly suffered in the wake of the Calciopoli mess. The quality of the league has certainly diminished in recent years and unfortunately for Inter, their superiority has been both a symptom and a cause of it. Top players are still joining Italian clubs but they are hardly flocking over in the kind of numbers we used to see in the 1990s. A recent episode of Sky's Sunday Supplement programme saw so-called respected journalists arrogantly dismiss Serie A as something of an irrelevance.

All that said, anyone who has been keeping track with the Italian league this season (ESPN televise two games each weekend as well as highlights during the week) will know that the league is going some way towards regaining it's competitive edge. Inter's struggles appear to be an exception rather than the rule currently. As I write this, just a single point separates a resurgent Juventus, Lazio, champions AC and Udinese at the top of the table. Does this mean the league is improving? Maybe, maybe not, but if we look at the performances of their clubs in the Champions League so far this season, one would be hard pressed to argue against the abilty of their representatives this season. Having beaten Manchester City this week, Napoli look well-placed to advance to the last 16 ahead of the cash-rich citizens. AC Milan were unlucky to lose to Barcelona but still progress from their group. Even lacklustre Inter have qualified in as group winners with a game to spare.

Ultimately, I don't think there are many out there who wouldn't want to see a strong Italian championship once again. One can only hope Serie A can successfully overcome their problems and re-establish itself as league we all look upon in awe once more.


Ugly-ass trophy though


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Charlie Big Potatoes - The Tevez Story

The fuse on the powder keg relationship between Manchester City and Carlos Tevez was lit and went up with a furious bang in Munich this week as the cash rich Citizens slumped to a 2-0 defeat against a rampant Bayern side in their Champions League group match. The football itself ended up taking a back seat as a more dramatic story was taking place on the touchline. For those that don't know, in the 55th minute of the match at the Allianz Arena, Roberto Mancini, desperately trying to claw his side back into the game, decided to withdraw the ineffective Edin Dzeko and replace him with one Mr Tevez. Astonishingly, the temperamental Argentinean forward apparently refused to go on and kept his posterior planted on the bench.


Very comfortable seats in that Allianz dugout, I'm told...

You don't need me to tell you that this was one of the most outrageous things a player could do. For all the other many misdemeanors footballers are (rightly) criticised for, refusal to actually play and do the job you are paid to do is up there with the worst. An act of disrespect aimed at the club, the fans, management and without exaggeration, is an affront to the game itself.

It's not unreasonable to suggest that Tevez behaved like a first class, certified Grade-A twat with this act of childishness. Whatever your feelings, you are obliged to be professional – a word seemingly missing from Charlie T's limited vocabulary.

Understandably, a seething Mancini felt that this act of insubordination should not go unpunished and soon declared that Tevez' career at Eastlands was finito with some sort of transfer, almost certainly abroad, expected to take place sooner rather than later....

Tevez’ expected departure from these here shores draws a close to a highly controversial chapter in English Premier League football. His distinctive facial scar from a burn suffered in his childhood could well be symbolic representation for the impact he has left on the game. From the moment he touched down in London back in 2006 to his imminent exit shortly, the tenacious little Argentine has never been far from the headlines, proving to be one of the most curious characters to kick a ball on this wee island of ours.

Tevez was first brought to my attention when I was as a layabout student back in 2004. Rather then taking advantage of my fine academic institution by doing something worthwhile such as joining sports clubs or meeting girls, I wasted many an hour playing Championship Manager 03/04 with my flatmate Matt. Said flatmate had previously done a gap year travelling South America where the only useful thing he came back with was the knowledge that Boca Juniors had a highly rated youngster on their books who was set to become most exciting Argentine striker for many a year.



Matt used this knowledge to sign the ‘hot prospect’ for his Roma side and caused constant frustration for me and my Internazionale team as he and I battled for the Serie A title year after fictional year.

“F****** Carlos Tevez” was a phrase I uttered on almost a daily basis during my first year.

Naturally, like most highly rated players on Champo, I expected never to hear of him again. I like to call it Cherno Samba syndrome. However, Tevez again came into my consciousness a year later when he made his initial move (in real life now obviously) to Corinthians from Boca following an explosive start to a career that included a Copa Libertadores win and two Argentinean Player of the Year awards. The transfer probably wouldn’t have even made a ripple in Europe had it not been for the unique circumstances in which it was concluded.

Fresh off the takeover at Chelsea two years prior, football was entering a new era; that of multi-billionaire ownerships. Of course, rich owners were around before 2003 but the kind of vast sums Abramovich et al have been throwing around in recent years were previously inconceivable. What does this have to do with Tevez? Well, the supposed £13m forked out by Cornithians smashed the record of any transfer fee in South America up until that point. The Brazilians had been recently bought by the highly mysterious Media Sports Investments (MSI) headed by the Iranian born businessman Kia Joorabchian who could easily be a James Bond baddie in the right light. MSI bankrolled the transfer and, as it emerged later, ‘owned the economic rights’ to Tevez as well. This was clearly not a typical player-agent relationship. Basically, despite being under contract to the club, the player was actually the property of a ‘third party’ – a phrase that would be become so prominent and repeated in English football a couple of years later that I was often tempted to drive a rusty screwdriver into my eardrum to avoid having to hear it again.



Now, I am not going to pretend I pay close enough attention to transfer market in South America to have been particularly concerned by the move itself. However, my interest was piqued by the fact that this whole convoluted situation was covered in an article in The Times where the implication was that third party ownership may well be the future of football transfers.

However, this apparent revolutionary idea not so much hit a buffer, but rather slammed head first into a brick wall when it crossed the Atlantic and hit these shores.

As I have suggested time and time again, things tend to go a little bit insane on transfer deadline day. Desperate attempts to do business before the window shuts often leads to the most unexpected of deals taking place. In August 2006, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who had the BBC deadline day live updates on my browser while frantically bashing away at the F5 key curious to know who was going where.

Every year, some cad sends in rumour about having spotted some high profile international at some obscure location. When it was suggested that Tevez, along with the equally highly rated Javier Mascherano were seen in London, everybody scoffed. Even if this were true, you would automatically assume they would be at the Kings Road, Finsbury Park or even Tottenham High Road. I doubt there was a single football supporter who would have expected or believed believe that two players that had participated in the World Cup and reached the quarter finals just two months prior would be strutting around the East End about to sign for West Ham United!

But alas, this is exactly what happened. Amidst talk of an MSI takeover of the club, Joorabchian had engineered a move for two world renowned superstars to Upton Park. The world had officially gone mad. We all stood open mouthed as then-manager Alan Pardew – smugness personified – appeared on TV looking very much like the cat that got the cream – if the cream in question was being accompanied by Champagne and lobster and being served by Jessica Alba wearing nothing but a smile.



With two new stars and an impending takeover, what could possibly go wrong? Well, let’s not forget this is West Ham we are talking about. Pardew somehow couldn’t fit the two new acquisitions into his side and the Hammers found themselves, typically, flirting with relegation. The MSI takeover fell through and the club were instead bought by an Icelandic consortium that turned out to be even more of a disaster than the country’s volcanoes and ash clouds of a year or so back. I’m not sure what else they expected from a group apparently run by Humpty Dumpty’s clumsier twin brother.

Tevez and Mascherano struggled to settle with the latter hot-footing it to Anfield within a couple of months. Pardew blamed the team’s poor form on the two suggesting that their initial signing was ‘disruptive’. I’m less inclined to take Pards seriously given that he often reckoned a generally hapless Bobby Zamora, a geriatric Teddy Sheringham and something called Marlon Harewood were all better options up front than the three-time South American player of the year.

Pardew was ultimately shown the door and replaced by Alan Curbishley in a move one can only describe as the equivalent of taking an old Skoda with a blown-out engine and replacing it with an old Skoda with a blown-out engine.

There were just 10 games left of the season when Tottenham travelled to the Boylen in March 2007. A thrilling and dramatic game ended 4-3 to the away side handing West Ham a 5th consecutive league defeat. The result aside, the game however featured a pivotal moment that may well have been the catalyst for the club’s survival. Carlos Tevez opened his West Ham account with a brilliant free kick and celebrated by whipping off his shirt and diving head first into ecstatic Irons fans. There’s nothing new about this sort of celebration but on this particular occasion it sparked what was to be the start of a beautiful, if short lived, relationship. The ecstasy and euphoria in the celebration showed that this was a player that truly gave a shit about the club he was playing for. The many fans that questioned him up until this point had no doubts about his commitment to the cause. The battle was lost on the day but the war was far from over. West Ham won 7 of the remaining 9 games with an instrumental Tevez scoring 6 times including the only goal in a 1-0 win at Old Trafford – interestingly, not to be his last goal on this ground – on the final day that kept his side in the top flight.

The Hammers have always been a club that have prided themselves on their “Englishness”. If you’ve ever met one of their fans you’ll know full well that it was West Ham who actually won the 1966 World Cup. Now, I’m not trying to imply they are all card carrying skinheads in East London but it was quite strange and also warming to see them embrace a foreigner – an Argentinean no less – as one of their own. Such was his impact in those months, Tevez was voted Hammer of the Year and is almost spoken of on equal terms as the club’s other great overseas hero, one Paulo Di Canio.

Unfortunately, this apparent fairytale didn’t result in anyone living happily ever after. While third party ownership is an accepted practice elsewhere, here in good ol’ Blighty we forbid such things. Listening to some people, you would think that illegal immigration is preferable.

After they were found to have hidden the details of Tevez’ (and Mascherano’s) ownership from the authorities, West Ham received a record fine but survived a points deduction and even more significantly, were allowed to keep fielding Tevez for those crucial end of season matches that he had such a major influence on.

Given that Tevez was technically ‘illegible’ you can imagine the team(s) that went down might feel somewhat aggrieved. Cue threats of legal action and a messy, messy two year legal battle by relegated Sheffield United which finally resulted in an out of court settlement that has been rumoured to have cost The Hammers nearly as much as dropping down a division would have.

Furthermore, Tevez’ rich vein of form during the run-in merely proved what many believed from the moment he arrived in Newham; That he was quite simply far too good for a team at the wrong end of the table. A mooted move to Manchester United encountered all kinds of complications due to the fact he was still ‘owned’ by MSI while West Ham owned his registration. Knowing they essentially wouldn’t receive a transfer fee, it was the East London club’s turn to threaten a trip to court. After much too-ing and fro-ing, an agreement was reached to compensate West Ham and Tevez would be ‘loaned’ to the Reds by Joorabchian for two years with the option of a permanent deal afterwards. After two seasons, 34 goals, two league titles, a Champions League trophy and a winning goal in front of the Kop at Anfield (one way to endear yourself to United fans forever) later, yet more contract controversy was to follow.




United had delayed talks and as the 2008/9 season was drawing to a close, there was still no offer on the table. At the start of May, United took on crosstown rivals City at Old Trafford where Tevez hammered in a fantastic long range strike to give the Reds a 2-0 lead they would hold on to until the final whistle. The fans inside Old Trafford celebrated the goal by demanding the Argentine be offered a new contract. Fully aware of this, Tevez sprinted to the bench with his hands cupping his ears in a gesture that seemed to be instructing Fergie and the United board to “listen to the people!”. Whether the United hierarchy saw this as an act of insolence or not will never be known but as it turned out, they weren’t prepared to listen. SurAlex famously claimed that the striker wasn’t worth the reported £25m transfer fee it would have cost to purchase him for MSI.

Of course, as well know and many of my ex-girlfriends will testify, the natural reaction to rejection is revenge and Tevez got his by joining a side that did think he was worth the money - not even needing to move house to do so. In the summer of 2009, Carlos Tevez did the unthinkable and left Manchester United to become a Manchester City player. More than just talking advantage of the situation, the signing was a chance for City to truly flex their financial muscle in the faces of their rivals in an “anything we want, we can have” move. The infamous ‘Welcome to Manchester’ poster was like a visual metaphor of a burglar shitting on the carpet after robbing a house.



One-upsmanship aside, Tevez’ first two years at Eastlands – on the pitch at least – were a revelation and left football fans up and down the country with very little to debate with regards to not only his ability, but his determination each and every time he stepped out onto the pitch. A stark contrast to his actions this week. One of his finest performances in City colours came at Stamford Bridge in February 2010. Amidst a massive furore about players shagging former teammate’s girlfriends and such, Tevez rose above the nonsense to score twice – continuing to expose the John Terry myth in the process – and inspire his side to an emphatic 4-2 victory.

This wasn’t the first high profile game Tevez took centre stage, just a month earlier in the Carling Cup semi final first leg, the two Manchester clubs were drawn against one another and naturally all eyes were on the former United man. He didn’t disappoint as he bagged a brace in a 2-1 win and repeated his cup-eared celebration in front of Reds fans who had gone from cheering his name just a few months earlier to jeering his every touch. The Argentine claimed afterwards that the celebration was aimed solely at ‘sock-sucker’ Gary Neville who he felt needlessly disrespected him before the match. To be honest, anyone who has beef with Gary Neville gets my approval.

United did go on to win the return leg 3-1 to progress to the final but alas, it was Tevez once more who scored City’s goal on the night. I’m not sure of the stats but I can’t imagine there are many other players who have scored at Old Trafford for 3 different teams. An incredible achievement however you look at it.

And it wasn’t all animosity aimed at former clubs, though. When facing West Ham, Tevez has made a very blatant point of saluting their fans as well as refusing to celebrate after scoring for both United and City.

But as we all know, disharmony and Charlie T go hand in hand like the Greek goverment and a gross financial mismanagement. In fairness, the star has had to tend to family issues. In early 2010, he was granted compassionate leave to fly back to Argentina following the premature birth of his second daughter, later that year, it was rumoured that he and his partner had split and she had taken the children back to South America permanently. City allegedly agreed to allow him to fly back to see his family but reneged on this deal causing Carlitos to start talking about leaving City and retiring from football altogether.

Now, I don't have children (thankfully!) and won't try to claim to understand parenthood but for me, if a father or mother is forcibly denied from seeing their child, particularly ones so young, then you can totally understand why they would be unhappy. How many parents would be pleased to accept any amount of money if it meant they had to live on the other side of the world from their children? Not many I imagine.

It was obvious that Tevez' wasn't right in the head and there was even a public spat with manager Roberto Mancini after his substitution against Bolton last December. But despite all the constant whining and complaining, he never shirked his responsibilities. On the pitch he remained as committed as ever. Ending the season on 23 goals and finishing joint Premier League top scorer, Tevez captained City to their most successful season in recent memory as they qualified for the Champions League and won the FA Cup.

Yet glory and money didn’t seem to satisfy him. Tevez criticised Manchester on Argentinean TV, claiming he would never return before releasing a statement declaring once more that he wanted to leave. Despite his influence, City were prepared to show him that, like any footballer, he was replaceable. Before a protracted summer move back to Corinthians collapsed, Tevez' fellow countryman Sergio Aguero was brought in as a potential replacement. The new signing's brilliant form had many of the City faithful asking 'Carlos who?' with very few prepared to shed a tear if their top scorer of recent years was to depart. After the his shameful behaviour in Munich, these same fans have actively started calling for his departure.

Mancini has drawn the battle lines by declaring Tevez persona non grata at Eastlands. The Argentine has half-heartedly tried to defend himself citing a 'misunderstanding' to very little sympathy and many praising Mancini for his hardline approach with an apparent troublemaker. The incumbent City manager has often had it hard since he arrived on these shores. Often undermined by all and sundry for for tactics last season, as well as having to deal with constant speculation about his job, the Italian was effectively swimming against the tide by still managed to come up smelling of roses. However, it would be remiss not to ask the question of the manager given his relationships with other players in the City squad.

Lost in the Tevez kerfuffle was the fact that the substituted player Dzeko also had some public angry words with his manager. This comes off the back of Super Mario Balotelli doing the same in a pre-season friendly over the summer.



Does Mancini have a problem wish discipline? Much of the evidence would suggest so. The argument that he has to contend with big egos is a valid one but he must stamp his authority or risk more confrontations. Critics and naysayers of City's big spending have been waiting for this moment just so they could say 'I told you so' and it is up to a forceful manager to prevent situations like this from happening - especially in public. With Manicini finally taking some strong action, some say the this latest Tevez scandal is the straw to break the camel's back but if we are to use any animal based idiom, the 'punishment' probably more a case of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.

So what do we make of Tevez? Mercenary, mug or misunderstood? In five short years, for better or for worse, he has made more headlines than most players in the league. Although at times he seems to be no more than a puppet, Carlitos’ continued association with Kia Joorabchian and the acrimony that has followed whenever he has left a club will always have people view him as a disloyal money grabber. His off-field attitude is hardly endearing either. Given the fact he is on fantastic money, earning success and playing for a team undoubtedly on the up, people are entitled to ask why he continues to complain about everything under the sun. He is in a highly privileged position – something he ought to appreciate given the plight of many in his homeland.

But then, even if you don’t sympathise, you must surely understand that his complicated family situation will have an impact on his psyche and general hapiness. Unfortunately for City this has manifested itself in the worst way. His undoubted talismanic quality makes you sit up and take notice no matter who you support and he is in a distinct minority of current players that most teams in Europe would welcome with open arms. That is, if he didn’t come with more baggage than Stansted airport.

There are very few players one can say they genuinely enjoy watching. Tevez is not only a proven Premier League goalscorer – a feat in itself – but manages to combine his South American flair and style with just the right amount of grit and determination that we love oh so much in this country. When you seeing him charging around the pitch like a rabid pitbull from kick off right to the final whistle, you can't help but be impressed by his work rate, something that previously hadn't dropped even during his periods of melancholy.

With his refusal to come as a sub as requested against Bayern, Tevez lost any sympathy that may have remained both from his own fans and the 'neutrals' who just loved him - football wise - for the sheer hell of it. If and when he does leave, City, English football, and fans will be losing a great player but a very unlikable man. Sadly, this outcome will probably be the best for all concerned.

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City High - FA Cup Final 2011

Yaya Toure. Transfer Fee: 24 million quid; Reported salary: 200 thousand English pounds a week; Scoring the winning goal to deliver your new club's first piece of silverware for 35 years: Priceless!



After their win over Manchester United in the semi final, Blue Moon was belted out in full voice at Wembley again yesterday as Manchester City delighted their fans with a 1-0 win over Stoke City securing the final domestic trophy of the season. This follows Birmingham's Carling Cup win in February and City's arch rivals United confirming their 19th league title just two hours prior.

On that note, how daft a decision was it by the authorities to schedule league fixtures on the same day as the cup final? The double success for the City of Manchester has been lauded in some quarters but you can't help but feel each achievement manages to overshadow that of the other. Still I imagine it would have been a great night out around Castlefield, Deansgate and the like...

The Eastlands club have been ridiculed for a number of years by their more blinged up crosstown neighbours with reds fans going so far as to display a banner at old Trafford taking the piss out of City's long barren spell. Toure's rocket couldn't have done any more to make sure that banner comes down if he marched over to Salford and yanked it down himself.

Having also secured Champions League qualification for the first time ever just last week, you'd have to say there have been worse weeks for the Blues. Even if they lost yesterday, the season could still be considered a success. Commiserations go out to their vanquished opponents in Stoke City who clearly went to Wembley as underdogs and probably had the backing of many so-called 'neutrals' beforehand (Can you really be neutral if you are wanting one of the two teams to win?).

The game itself was not a classic but with rare exceptions, it was par for the course in an FA Cup final. The sense of occasion and the build up almost always outweighs the quality of the game. A fact summed up by Tony Pulis' transformation from a smart dignified suit beforehand to his cheap, comical tracksuit and baseball cap combo by kick off.

Of course, the lack of excitement was to be expected given the reputations of both teams. It has been suggested that at times this season Man City's tactics couldn't have been more conservative if they were managed by Margret Thatcher and it's generally accepted that pretty football is about as out of place at The Britannia Stadium as Malcolm X at a Ku Klux Klan rally. If this were a fairy tale, it wouldn't be so much Beauty and the Beast, more Beast and the Beast.

In fairness, City have had their moments this season and with Carlos Tevez back in their line up, they were always likely to play with a greater sense of attacking urgency. Even the much maligned Stoke had recently starting playing a more expansive game deploying explosive wingers Matthew Ethrington and Jermaine Pennant with great effect.

City quite clearly lined up with a far superior team and for 45 minutes it showed. They controlled possession and created the better... sorry, ONLY real chances in the first half. For all the above criticism, Tevez injects life into their play and it will be a shame if rumours of him leaving are true.

Stoke, after recent good performances - in the semi final rout of Bolton and the win over Arsenal last week to name but two - unfortunately reverted to type and took a life-sappingly negative approach. At no point before half time did they have less than 9 men behind the ball. Pulis' men played the long game and seemed content to wait for set-pieces and throws as their only means of actually trying to win the game. All of which the City defence were able to absorb.

That said, Ethrington was clearly struggling after his recent injury and once Pennant picked up an ankle knock their chances became slimmer than Kate Middleton on a hunger strike.

For all their possession, City found themselves unable to break down Stoke. The red and white wall was standing firmer than a man asked to partake in a threesome with Eva Mendes and Mila Kunis. They did manage to force their way through once or twice but were limited. Super Mario Balotelli's great strike was denied by an even better Thomas Sorensen save and later, David Silva volleyed into the ground and the ball bounced up over the bar. The Potters were dire but managed to keep it level til the break.

The Second half saw Stoke improve. They began to keep the ball better and actually make the game something of a contest. Kenwyne Jones had a great chance to give them the lead following a fine pass from Ethrington but Jo Hart in the City goal was equal to it. This was Ethrington's only significant contribution before being subbed and only makes you wonder how different things might have been if he was fully fit.

City were still being frustrated by Andy Wilkinson and Ryan Shawcross in particular but kept plugging away until they were rewarded on 74 minutes when that man Yaya Toure continued the theme of Africans scoring at the new Wembley (Brappp!).


Manchester City v Stoke City by geuzehead

In five FA Cup finals since the ground was reopened four years ago, Didier Drogba (2007, 2009, 2010), Kanu (2008) and now Toure have all found the net.

All three have also scored in semi finals and if you add Obafemi Martins and Drogba's exploits in Carling Cup finals this year and in 2008 respectively then you have to say Northwest London is becoming a home away from home for brothers from the motherland - take THAT France!

The Blues then retained possession until a few hairy moments at the end when Stoke won a succession of corners but held on for richly deserved win.

There's a lot of animosity directed at City for the way their rich Arab owners have been flashing the cash. Of course, jealously and hypocrisy have played a part. They aren't the only club with rich owners who have 'bought' success and let's face it, whoever you support, you wouldn't be remotely outraged if it were your team in a similar position.

City have always been a likable team and have had many sympathisers due in part to the vast shared dislike of United but also because they were seen as 'loveable losers'. Now that they are serious contenders, the bitterness has spread like Californian wildfires. Was there so much hate when were scraping around in the old Division Two a little over a decade ago?

Personally, I'm indifferent to the club but glad to see a 'new' team win a trophy. Moreso, I'm pleased for Roberto Mancini. The press have undermined him with all too frequent speculation about his job as well as unfairly criticising him and his tactics at every turn. You couldn't open a newspaper or click on a sport website this season without another name being touted for the Eastlands dugout. Credit to him for getting on with his job and succeeding in both reaching the top four and winning a trophy as a kicker. Well done, sir.

What of Stoke? In truth, does anyone outside Staffordshire really care? Harsh maybe but it's almost better to give such a frank assessment than to go with the patronising line that they should have enjoyed their 'big day out'. The better side won on the day so there is no room for sympathy or sentiment although it is lazy to say that it was some sort of victory against Stoke's 'attrition' football given how City themselves have played on occasion this campaign. Besides there is no 'right' way to play and Stoke's methods have established them as a Premier League side after their own previous 'lows'.

What next for the upwardly mobile Mancs though? More big money, big name summer signings? Title push next season? The Champion's League? World domination??? Now that they've got that winning feeling, you'd think they will only go from strength to strength. Ominous signs for the rest of us...

Man of the Match: Yaya Toure

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Weekend Observations 11th - 13th December 2010: Part One

Big Story of the weekend comes from Eastlands where Man City’s Carlos Tevez has handed in a written transfer request. Aside from despairing billboard manufacturers in the city, the club’s fans can’t be too pleased either. As recently as last month they were lording it over their neighbours from Old Trafford when Wayne Rooney did something similar before changing his mind. Rooney stayed and now it is City’s talismanic striker who wants to leave Manchester. You have to wonder what is wrong with the place...

This situation however, differs in a number of ways from that of the potato-headed Scouser. Tevez, currently pocketing a reported 280 grand every 7 days, has never been backward in coming forward to express his feelings of disillusionment about the game. The Argentine has even been vocal on the subject of quitting football altogether. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that he is one unhappy bunny at the minute. Last week’s touchline spat with Roberto Mancini was just an indicator of his current state of mind.

Tevez, despite claiming repeatedly that money is not his primary concern, has cited a breakdown of a relationship between himself and ‘some executives’ indicating a potential contract dispute with those at board level. The City hierarchy have intimated that this is indeed the case but my suspicions are that they are simply looking to besmirch the striker’s character by painting him as just another money-grabbing mercenary.

Whether this is true or not, remains to be seen. I expect a lot more name calling from both sides before the saga draws to a close. From what I understand, homesickness rather than money is the main reason for this dramatic decision. Tevez and his babymother have split up and she has taken their children back to Argentina. Tevez is understandably unhappy at being so far away from his family so maybe his request to leave is not that unreasonable. Putting two and two together, I’m thinking that the club has maybe reneged on certain promises to allow him time off to go home every so often. The likelihood of any Argentinean team being able to afford to rescue him is another issue completely though.

In stark contrast, Tevez’ continued impressive performances give off no impression of any external problems. You won’t find many people arguing that the captain hasn’t been City’s best and most consistent player over the last year or so. Whatever you think of this whole mess, his professionalism on the pitch has to be commended. Unlike wantaway players of days gone by, Tevez says he will still play for the club. Despite his obvious displeasure, he still puts the effort into every game as if it is his last – which of course, it may well be.

If he does leave, it would do serious damage to any potential City assault on the title although, in his absence, Saturday saw the blues stroll past Abject Avram’s West Ham with Yaya Toure taking centre stage. Then again, this is West Ham we’re talking about. They are to football what Sepp Blatter is to gay rights.

City’s win momentarily put them joint top of the league alongside Arsenal until the gunners were replaced by Manchester United who beat them 1-0 on Monday night.

You have to wonder though, what is the point of Arsenal? Yes, great football, financially stability and a commitment to the development of young talent is all very commendable and certainly a model you’d hope many others will follow before the inevitable day in the not too distant future when the completely unsustainable nature of football finances sees top clubs start toppling like dominoes.

But what good is any of that if it can’t be converted into success on the pitch? Nobody supports a club because they have a good bank balance. Arsenal fans have not seen their side win a trophy for over five years and based on Monday’s predictable surrender the drought, as far as the league is concerned, sees no sign of abating.



Admittedly, they are going good guns (no pun intended) in the Carling Cup but you have to ask if winning the football’s second least prestigious competition (behind the SPL) is good enough for one of England’s so called biggest clubs.

It looks like they’ve balls’d up their Champions League campaign this season and defeat at Old Trafford has left them trailing their old rivals who now also have a game in hand. More than that, having lost against Chelsea already this season, Arsenal’s continued failure in these big Championship six pointers looks once again to derail any rumoured title challenge. Arsenal have now lost 10 and drawn one of their last 11 games in all competitions against United and Chelsea – a recent record worse than the likes of Birmingham and Fulham respectively.

Arsenal barely showed up at Old Trafford and spent a lot of the second half passing the ball from side to side in what could only be described as an attempt to bore the United defence into conceding somehow. Of course, this didn’t work. Having conceded to a fortuitous Park Ji Sung header just before half time, a little more urgency would have been welcome in the second 45. It didn’t come and Arsene Wenger’s side got exactly what they deserved from the game: nothing!

The one positive they will take from the game was the performance of debutant Wojciech Szczesny (15 minutes to verify the spelling!) in goal who pulled off some decent saves and showed a safe pair of hands on a number of other occasions. A competent Arsenal goalkeeper? Who would have thunk it?

The scoreline could have been more emphatic when everyone’s favourite referee awarded United their Annual undeserved penalty at Old Trafford (The fifth they have ‘won’ in eight seasons against Arsenal). Wayne Rooney summed up his mediocre season by ballooning the ball straight to the moon.

2-0 would have flattered United. For Arsenal, one of the most frustrating things about this defeat for the gunners was that fact that the home side weren’t actually any good. Thanks to the powder puff nature of any Arsenal attack, it’s not unfair to say that the Reds deserved their win but only by default on account of simply being ‘less worse’ than the visitors. United played the way that secured them the win and fair play to them for being smart enough to do so but I don’t think I’m out of order for suggesting that the tactics they employed after scoring were not dissimilar to a League One side protecting a lead against Premier League opposition in some sort of cup match. Yes, the mighty Manchester United were reduced to defensive long ball merchants, AT HOME! How they are top of the league and still unbeaten is anyone’s guess.

Whether they stay there or not is different story as they head to Stamford Bridge to face a Chelsea side they have failed to beat away from home in the league since 2002. Funnily enough, a year before The Blues were doped up to the shinpads by Roman Abramovich’s roubles.

Chelsea themselves are still going through a somewhat dodgy period and a 1-1 draw against Tottenham in Sunday’s big game could be seen as another stumble as they attempt retain their crown. Despite going behind, Chelsea will look at this as an opportunity lost given the circumstances at the end of the game when Didier Drogba’s ego cost his side two points.

Having been dropped, Drogba set out to prove a point to his manager by burying the equaliser right through the apparition of Heurelho Gomes. However, Drogba’s insistence on taking the last minute penalty ahead of the returning Frank Lampard that could have won the game bordered on selfish and by missing it, he could well have hindered Chelsea’s championship ambitions even further.



For the record, Gomes did not go from ‘villain to hero’. He gave away the first goal and conceded the penalty. Ultimately, it was his fault Spurs dropped the points all he did was prevent his team paying a further price for his ineptitude. Saving it did not vindicate him in the slightest and hopefully ‘arry gave him an earful at in the changing rooms afterwards.

Chelsea may have stuttered in recent weeks but are still very much in the race. Their ‘spine’ of Terry, Essien, Lampard and Drogba is just about complete once again and a win against Manchester United at the weekend should give them the momentum to kick on in the second half of the season. Their second half performance at White Hart Lane was ominously good and it seems only a matter of time before they are battering teams up and down the land as they were at the start of the season.

Weekend Observations 4th - 6th December 2010: Part One

There is a terrible epidemic amongst football fans, pundits and commentators alike to label any new, young, exciting talent as some sort of modern day incarnation of great player from days of yore. Any half-baked tabloid, broadcaster or blog that dares to indulge in often fruitless transfer speculation will almost certainly refer to a player as the 'new' version of someone else. When a young French player of Algerian heritage signed for Arsenal a couple of summers back, there was a laughable suggestion that he was going to be, like Bruno Cheyrou before him, a 'new Zidane'. This particular comparison is just an example of laziness due to ethnicity rather than footballing ability. ZiZou was one of the finest players to ever play the game and to heap that sort of pressure on an unproven Samir Nasri was both unfair and unwarranted.

Of course, it remains to be seen if he can actually live up to these expectations but certainly this season Samir has sparkled in Arsenal colours playing in a way that the great man who he is said to have succeed would be proud of. Nasri's fine form culminated in a fantastic performance in the 2-1 win over Fulham on Saturday when his two jaw-droppingly brilliant goals fired the Gunners to the top of the Premier League table.



This past summer saw the mind-numbingly boring transfer tug of war between Arsenal and Barcelona over the Gunners' talismanic Captain Cesc Fabregas. Such is his importance to Arsenal, the typically hyperbolic reactions from many suggested that if the North Londoners did lose their man then the team would falter, the Emirates would be sucked into some kind of a vortex and the club would cease to exist or something.

While quite obviously the team's most influential player over the last 5 trophy-less seasons, Fabregas' recent ongoing injury problems have meant that the team have had to cope without him for much of this campaign and given their lofty league position this morning, you have to say they have coped quite well.

It is of course, foolish to suggest that Arsenal don't need Fabregas but even if he was to leave to warm the bench of the world's best club side, it wouldn't quite be the disaster some would hope.

Whether Arsenal can stay top is another matter. Defensively, problems still remain and reached something of a nadir in the Fulham game when centre backs Sebastian Squillaci and Laurent Koscielny actually ran into each other and smashed heads in some kind of hilarious footballing Keystone Cops moment during the build up to Diomansy Kamara's equaliser.

For most teams this kind of thing would be written off as a freak occurrence but the regularity in which stupid/clumsy individual errors and acts of incompetence lead to the concession of goals by Arsene Wenger's team, you just know this won't be the last time we see something like this happen this season. At the risk of sounding like a stuck record, defensive frailties will undermine any title ambitions the team may have.

That said, they may well win the title by default as Chelsea stuttered once again this week drawing 1-1 at home to Everton. There's not really much else to say that I haven't said already in weeks gone by. Yes, their form is dodgy but they are still just two points off the lead and you cannot imagine they won't find that magical winning formula again.

It baffles me that so few people are questioning that decision to award the Blues the penalty in this game which was nothing short of farcical in my opinion. For Tim Howard to be penalised for simply standing his ground and having Anelka clatter into him defies all logic. Howard had no way of avoiding contact without actually disappearing into thin air - an attribute I very much doubt he has in his arsenal. Even after Lee Probert awarded the penalty, shouldn't he have produced a red card for the keeper? Admittedly, Nicolas Anelka hasn't scored a lot recently but had he made it past Howard, there's no denying that it would have been a 'clear goal-scoring opportunity'.

Everton's equaliser was scored by Jermaine Beckford who doubled his tally for the season as he tries in vain to convince me that he isn't ought of his depth playing Premier League football. I would be kinder to the former Leeds man if he didn't follow up his goal by attempting a shot from outside the area that is still traveling down the King's Road as we speak.


Chelsea hope to stop the rot next week with a trip to a Tottenham side down in fifth could only manage a 1-1 draw at St. Andrew's with Carling Cup semi-finalists Birmingham City. Obviously, the only logical conclusion to draw is that Spurs had taken the lead and didn't have to come from behind so hence were unable to implement their newly discovered "playing possum" tactic. An interesting stat courtesy of the must follow OptaJoe on Twitter, for all their heroics this season, Spurs have only won one game outside of London.

Tottenham's draw meant that Man City's 1-0 win over Bolton helped The Citizens consolidate their place in the top four. Every week there seems to be another story of unrest within the City dressing room. Following Vincent Kompany and Emmanuel Adebayor getting into an on-pitch spat and the reported tunnel trouble with James Milner and Yaya Toure, Friday saw training ground fisticuffs between Jerome Boateng and Super Mario Balotelli before match winner Carlos Tevez blew the proverbial gasket after being subbed by Roberto Mancini on Saturday. Apparently, I'm told, this kind of thing happens at every club and while that may be true, I wonder why it seems to happen so frequently at Eastlands. It certainly doesn't seem like a happy camp and we can only be thankful that Craig Bellamy is currently out on loan. If any title challenge is to be maintained, the big egos will need to put in check.

The blues were unfortunate that the scoreline was not more emphatic but will be happy for the three points that allows them keep pace at the top of the table. December sees Arsenal, Chelsea and cross town rivals Manchester United all play one other in what some might call old fashioned championship six pointers. City will be hoping to capitalise on the inevitable points dropped by at least two of the teams above them and strengthen their own title-chasing ambitions.

Part Two to follow...

How things Change. Weekend Observations - November 6th-7th 2010

Where else to start than at Anfield? With the poor performances, player unrest, takeover shenanigans and financial troubles, it's difficult to imagine a football club experiencing a more eventful opening three months to a season. Much of the drama is akin to works of fiction and would not have been out of place on the horrifically unrealistic but highly watchable Sky One series Dream Team from days gone by.

Liverpool have somehow gone from a humbling shock home defeat against newly promoted Blackpool to an incredible victory over champions Chelsea in the space of just a few weeks – a third league win on the bounce propelling them from the doldrums of the Premier League relegation zone to the dizzying heights of mid-table.



The victory over the league leaders was inspired by the eye-poppingly good Fernando Torres whose two first half goals were enough to see off the visitors. The second of which was a moment of genius that simply reminds all of us exactly why we love watching this thing we call football.

Last week, I suggested that the Spaniard looked disinterested in Liverpool's unconvincing victory at Bolton and while I stand by that claim, the contrast in his performance this week could not have been more stark. Torres was back to his unplayable self and sent out something of a reminder as well as a huge 'F*CK YOU!!' to all the critics who have dared to write him off this season.

And it wasn't just Torres. The likes of Jamie Carragher, Maxi Rodriguez and Lucas all played unexpectedly well in this match making me think someone had spiked my coco pops with some kind of hallucinogenic drug such was my astonishment to what I was witnessing. Yes, Liverpool actually looked like a decent side for the first times in what seems like years. Maybe they finally have turned that fabled corner that everyone is so obsessed with.

As for their opponents, a strange thing occurred to me. The problem of subjective interpretations based on particular outcomes. Last week, Chelsea didn't play well but managed a result away at Blackburn. We all sat here saying it was the hallmark of champions to be able to do so and just assumed that the same would happen whoever they faced. I'm not saying that one defeat means Chelsea are in any sort of crisis but in truth, they haven't been at their best recently and perhaps are not deserving of the exaggerated hype surrounding them. They still undoubtedly remain the best side in the country and will more than likely end up as champions but maybe all the talk of them running away with the title ought to be set aside as of right now.

That very term, 'crisis' has been bandied about a great deal so far this season. As each week passes another club is on the brink of declaring some kind of state of emergency. Whereas Manchester United and Liverpool seem to have come through their periods of sensationalised disaster, last week it was the turn of Manchester City, with reports that Roberto Mancini was about to be taken out round the back of Eastlands by a large man armed with a handgun, duct tape and enough space in the back of his car to fit the body of a diminutive Italian wearing a scarf. However, the billionaires were back to winning ways thanks to two goals from marquee summer signing Super Mario Balotelli at West Brom.

If you believe what you read about Mancini being on borrowed time, this win would have surely bought him some breathing space. However, the pressure could well be right back on if City, minus their Hawthorns match winner following his sending off late in the game, lose this Wednesday in a little match taking place at Eastlands against their penny-pinching neighbours from around the way.

Speaking of whom, Ji-Sung Park's winning goal in the last minute of Fergie time... I mean, stoppage time at home against Wolves could well prove to have huge ramifications given the erratic results of the teams surrounding them this weekend. Manchester United, once again, looked far from convincing, but remain unbeaten and are slowly looking to build up something like momentum. They're turning those early season draws into wins and continue to put pressure on Chelsea above them. You have to believe that the performances will eventually come too and it will be just as important for them to avoid defeat on Wednesday as much as their cross-town rivals.



As I pointed out weeks ago following his hat-trick against Liverpool, the excessive praise dished out to Dimitar Berbatov that day proved to be somewhat premature with the Bulgarian having gone five league games without finding the net before being dropped... sorry, "rested" on Saturday. This doesn't make him shit either, it just means he's probably somewhere halfway between.

A major talking point from Manchester United's win this weekend was the aborted return to action for the lesser-spotted Owen Hargreaves, a player so unfortunate with injury an entire Salford-based hospital is set to be built and named in his honour*. For those that didn't see it, the former England international was withdrawn after just 5 minutes of the game with a hamstring injury. Yes, FIVE MINUTES!! Sir Alex has suggested 'anxiety' may be the cause of the latest set back suggesting that, understandably, there may be some psychological hump that Hargreaves will have to scale if he ever to get back to his best.

On the subject of perpetual injury problems, Arsenal found themselves in a rare position this week when what a good portion of what many believe to be their first team were available for selection. In the past five trophyless years, we've been constantly been led to believe that had Arsenal not been victims of a gypsy curse and hadn't had more players in hospital than available to play then these barren years would have been far more fruitful. The first chance to prove the validity of this claim came against Newcastle at the Emirates and it was a test they failed in spectacular fashion.

Andy Carroll gave the visitors a shock 1-0 win in a game where the same old problems reared their ugly, ugly heads again. I'm tempted to copy/paste previous statements about goalkeeping problems, failure to perform when Cesc Fabregas isn't 100% and inability to break down any team that actually knows how to defend but these problems are so glaringly obvious they don't really bare repeating.

Arsene Wenger's team is at risk of becoming the most pointless entity in football. Every season it's the same. A top four finish without ever really looking like winning the title and a decent cup run until they come up against someone half decent. Same old tedious story every year. Repeat to fade.

Equally pointless are an Aston Villa team who this season are about as interesting as a three hour lecture on socks by Iain Duncan-Smith. Following a prolonged and patient rebuilding process, Villa were on the brink of reaching the holy grail known as the Champions League just a little over a season ago. Now, in the space of a little under six months, the whole plan seems to have unravelled and they have returned to the level of midtable obscurity that preceded Randy Learner’s takeover some years back. It's hard to lay blame at the feet of new manager Gerard Houllier but this current side are hardly one to get the juices flowing.

This weekend's 1-all draw at Fulham was just about par for the course for a team averaging less than 1 goal a game so far this season with just 10 in 11. Only West Ham (9) and Wigan (8) have scored fewer and both those sides are in the relegation zone. If Villa are not careful, they could easily join them over the coming weeks as they sit a mere three points about the bottom three.

Spurs, the team that eventually achieved what Villa couldn't by breaking into the elusive top four and subsequent Champions League qualification, did their reputation no harm last week after comfortably beating European champions Inter Milan at White Hart Lane. Now, unless you superglued your eyes shut and stuffed your ears with playdough, you wouldn't have failed to notice that the major talking point from the game was Gareth Bale whose the stupendous performance presumably had Inter's right back Maicon on the phone to a victim support helpline after the game, such was the brutality of the public violating he suffered.



Bale's performance had the 'experts' almost literally frothing at the mouth in excitement and declaring, in all seriousness, that the young Welshman is somehow up there with the likes of Ronaldo, Messi, Xavi and Drogba as the best in the world. Leaving aside the fact that in both games against Inter he was allowed the freedom of Europe to do his damage thanks to the absence of any attempt to try and stop him, I was interested to see how well Bale was performing back on home soil. His sum total of two goals (both in the same game) and one assist having played every minute of every Tottenham match this campaign would suggest that maybe he's not quite the new Maradona just yet. Talk about people getting ahead of themselves. Best in the world? Have a word with yourself!

Bale and his Tottenham team were on the receiving end of something of a hammering from Bolton which by some folks' twisted logic would mean that Owen Coyle's side are now the best team in Europe.

Final point this week would be to tread on already well trodden ground and talk about Stoke City. The staffordshire club are floundering somewhat in the league and are only outside the bottom three thanks the the abovementioned woeful scoring record of Wigan Athletic. Grandmaster Tony Pulis seems to think that this down to bad refereeing decisions going against them and Dean Whitehead has pointed to Danny Murphy's comments some weeks back, believing they have influenced officials. It's funny that Blackburn and Wolves, also criticised by Murphy, have not faced similar troubles but let's not let that get in the way of Pulis' deflection tactics to stop people noticing how piss poor his team actually are. I seem to remember him criticising other managers for 'moaning' in the past. Nothing like good old fashioned double-standards, eh Tone?

*This may not be true

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