Arsing about: Gunners Give Chelsea the Blues - Weekend Observations: 29th-30th October 2011

There was a time when the teams at the Premier League summit would go into matches against one another exercising caution and contesting dull, cagey low scoring encounters that did nothing to back up the claim that the English top flight is "The Best League in the World". However, all that seems to have changed this season. Who would have thought at just a quarter of the way through the campaign we would have seen the kind of jaw-dropping, pinch yourself, lay off the LSD type of scorelines from the head-to-heads between the top clubs? Manchester City have demolished crosstown rivals and current champions United. They also went to White Hart Lane and tore Champions League hopefuls Tottenham a new one. Spurs themselves responded to that beating by giving Liverpool something of a pasting.

Then there's Arsenal. A truly disastrous start to the season was compounded with a miserable afternoon at Old Trafford. The astounding 8-2 set back against Manchester United was less a football match but more a kind of snuff film. Going into this weekend's game against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, not many people would have given them a prayer. I'm willing to bet that, to a man, every single Arsenal supporter on the planet would have taken a draw if offered on Friday evening. But alas, this unpredictable mistress that we call football pulls another surprise from of her bag of tricks in the form of the Gunners' astonishing 5-3 victory.

One of the many criticisms levelled at Arsenal over the weeks (years?) concerns a supposed lack of leadership. If Robin van Persie's umpteenth barnstorming performance and subsequent hat-trick are not considered a form of leadership then you're going to have to sit me down in a classroom and have a qualified teacher tell me what is. He may not be the 'shouter' that we are told every team worth their salt requires but by God does he lead by example. His latest treble made it 28 goals in 27 league matches this calendar year. If other players in the Arsenal team could find a level of consistency anywhere near that, then the team would be in far better shape that it currently finds itself.



One player in particular whose general performances are about as random as a bag of licorice allsorts is Theo Walcott. Having had something of a hit and miss season (career?), young Theo reserved his best showing for Saturday when he gave Ashley Cole more problems than a hairdresser with a kiss and tell story. His contribution to the scoresheet was something special too.

Having gone behind twice and then allowing Chelsea to equalise at 3-3, It was a surprising turn up for the books to see the Arsenal team stand firm and show rare but tremendous character to win the match so emphatically. Especially given the frequency of humiliating collapses that have occurred far, far too often in recent years. The win puts them just 3 points behind their vanquished opponents and, whisper it, back on course to challenge for a top four finish.

Since that fateful day in Manchester, talk of the club's supposed demise have filled more column inches in the Sports media than anything else. The number of back page leads declaring a crisis at the Emirates would probably exceed the number of journalists employed to write them.

What has gone unnoticed it would seem is the fact that since a befuddling 4-3 setback at Blackburn, the supposedly beleaguered Arsene Wenger has now led his team to 8 wins in 9 games in three competitions. If that's a crisis, 95% of football teams must be in complete meltdown.

More so than most teams, discussion of Arsenal falls foul of that lazy way of observing football whereby if something isn't fantastic then by default it must be complete shit. No other club is spoken of in such black and white terms and we're all guilty of it. The football is always described as 'wonderful' even when it isn't. The youth policy is always described as a success even when things go a bit Jérémie Aliadière. On the flip side, failure to win a trophy for a few years apparently means that the whole club needs rebuilding from the top down. People also draw the conclusion that selling player X automatically means the club is in freefall. Arsene Wenger is either a genius or a clown. They MUST buy or they MUST not. There is very rarely middle ground. Nobody in Islington will pretend that all is rosy in the Arsenal garden but the apocalyptic headlines that have been written about the club this season have bordered on absurd. The team have definitely started to show signs of turning that mythical corner.

Admittedly, the recent good run hadn't exactly seen them take on the cream of world football and they have been blessed with a number of home matches so when people spoke of a trip to Stamford Bridge being a 'true test' of any supposed Arsenal revival, the point was most certainly a valid one especially given that their last league win on the road was waaaaaay back against relegated Blackpool in the spring.

Not only did they pass the test, but they pretty much received top marks. It's not quite time to proclaim the second coming of the Invincibles but it might make one two people think twice before writing eulogies for the North Londoners.

Of course, one thing that still seems inescapable are the prevalent frailties in defence. Arsenal's makeshift backline was typically far from secure. Andre Santos, Per Mertesaker and Johan Djourou had a torrid time of it on Saturday lunchtime and were culpable for at least two of the three goals conceded and made a number of other laughable mistakes throughout.

However, if this is an accusation you can lay at the door of the Arsenal team, what then does one say about Chelsea? The Blues conceded five at home. FIVE! An unthinkable scenario in recent years. Since their Abramovich-funded ascension up the table, one thing you could always say about Chelsea was that they were built on a solid defensive base. All that seems to have gone straight out of the window because right now, they look a complete mess. In Jose Mourinho's first year in charge, they conceded a miserly 15 Premier League goals all season. They've conceded that many in just 10 games this year. Last week, our learned friends in the football media pointed the collective finger at the erratic David Luiz. This week the Brazilian wasn't in the side which would suggest that there is something wrong with new manager Andre Villas-Boas' tactical approach which, while very exciting going forward, evidently leaves them far too vulnerable at the back. The personnel hasn't changed but it's obvious they are playing a far more open game than they are used to.

If they are to make waves domestically and challenge for the ever-elusive Champions League crown in Europe, something needs to be done to shore things up because the ease at which Arsenal were able to slice them open time and time again, is something that will encourage any half decent side Chelsea will face between now and the end of the season.

All that said, I'm sure I speak for most people when I say that John Terry falling on his face for Arsenal's all important fourth goal filled me with great joy and wonderful, wonderful feelings of schadenfreude. Karma is a bitch, isn't it, John?



Away from West London, it was a pretty unremarkable weekend in the Premier League (I write this before the inevitable 6-6 draw between Stoke and Newcastle on Monday night...). Spurs and Liverpool both won as expected against QPR and West Brom respectively. Gareth Bale appeared to have made Sky's Super Sunday panel simultaneously climax as he scored an impressive brace for the former in comfortable 3-1 win that taught us nothing. Meanwhile, my love-hate relationship with the odious and despicable Luis Suarez continued as he put in another scintillating showing in the Scouse side's 2-0 win at the Hawthorns.

Special shouts to Norwich and Swansea who continue to perform above expectations. Blackburn's draw at Carrow Road was the only point picked up by either them, Bolton or Wigan in the bottom three. Things could and should have been better for Rovers who were cruising at 3-1 and were very unfortunate to have a last minute penalty awarded against them as the match ended 3-3. It almost makes you feel sorry for Steve Kean... almost!

People looking for a 'reaction' from Manchester United after their pummelling last weekend may well have been left disappointed after the reds laboured to a Javier Hernandez inspired 1-0 win over Everton. People spoke before the game as though Sir Fergie's team would show up at Goodison Park and tear the Toffees to shreds. Or more fittingly, chew them up and spit them. That was never going to realistically happen but more important than achieving a 'big' win was just getting any sort of win at all. As an added bonus, United kept a clean sheet a huge and significant achievement given the many question marks over their defence.

Keeping pace at the top of the table, City beat Wolves fairly comfortably for the second time in a week without really breaking a sweat and despite being reduced to ten men. If you're wondering whether that is down to how good City are or how much Wolves are struggling at present, I can confidently and lazily state that it's both.

Results

Saturday
Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal
Everton 0-1 Manchester United
Manchester City 3-1 Wolves
Norwich 3-3 Blackburn
Sunderland 2-2 Aston Villa
Swansea 3-1 Bolton
Wigan 0-2 Fulham
West Brom 0-2 Liverpool

Sunday
Tottenham 3-1 QPR

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Too Sixy for his shirt - Super Mario's Fire Power downs United: Weekend Observations - 22nd-23rd October 2011

Far be it from me to make almost ludicrous and churlish comparisons between football and genuinely serious world events but isn't it peculiar that for the second time in less than a week a long standing dominant, repressive regime has been toppled and a perceived benevolent dictator toppled and humiliated in his own back yard as a new ruling force comes into power? For Libya, see Manchester. For Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, see Sir Alex Ferguson. For the NTC, see Manchester City. As Libyan rebels took control of pro-Gaddafi stronghold Sirte this past Thursday, the Blues similarly marched into the impregnable fortress that is Old Trafford, where the home side had won 24 of their previous 25 matches, and came away with an emphatic 6-1 victory over the champions that probably had Fergie wishing he was hiding in a drainage pipe on the outskirts of Salford.

The United manager proclaimed afterward that it had been his worst day in football and you would be hard pressed to argue. The result was the reds' biggest defeat on home soil since 1955 and the first time United had conceded six goals at home since before the second world war (1930). More stats you ask? City's biggest away derby win in 85 years, first time City have scored 6 in a derby since 1926 and the scoreline also equals the biggest margin in Manchester derby win. When I was younger I saw a rampant Man Utd side destroy City 5-0 at Old Trafford. Never in a million years did I ever think I would see that reversed.

The massacre began with a goal from headline magnet Super Mario Balotelli who was in the news less than 24 hours earlier thanks to his premature Guy Fawkes celebrations going somewhat awry. After opening the score with a deft finish following great work by James Milner, mad Mario nonchalantly lifted his top to reveal a t-shirt emblazoned with the now famous question “WHY ALWAYS ME?”. Whether there is an answer that doesn't require the services of an entire team of mental health professionals, I cannot say for sure but I think I speak for most people when I say, I hope it continues to be 'always you', Mario.



The Italian grabbed a second after the break before Sergio Aguero, David Silva and two from substitute Edin Dzeko all made sure that the trip back to Surrey for the Old Trafford faithful would be a long and painful one. Darren Fletcher arguably scored the goal of the game by way of a response but it proved to be totally inconsequential.

The blues looked magical at times with the unplayable David Silva pulling the kind of tricks that would make Derren Brown look like Tommy Cooper. The little Spaniard put in one of the all time great Premier League performances and for my money, was the indisputable man of the match in team that had so many others playing so fantastically well. Micah Richards played like a man possessed both defending against Ashley Young and getting forward to contribute in attacks. James Milner was dominant in the midfield while Vincent Kompany put in a typically assured performance at the back. Even Joleyon Lescott looked like a competent defender for the most part.

It was always inevitable given their resources, that when this team got it together they would prove the toughest of nuts to crack but few envisioned that they could pull out a performance as jaw-dropping as this this against their nearest and dearest. The win leaves the expensively assembled cash rich Citizens now five points clear at the top of the table. After a result like this, it is difficult to see how anyone else is going to be able to keep pace with a squad so strong in every department as well as in reserve. Just think, the likes of Nigel de Jong and Samir Nasri weren't even needed at Old Trafford. That said, we all know that trophies aren't handed out in October so it would be tantamount to stupidity to declare them as champions elect at this stage.

Similarly, you'd be a fool of gargantuan proportions to write off their vanquished opponents. Anyone with even a passing interest in football knows that you dismiss United at your peril. As supporters of other teams, it is our right, nay, our DUTY to enjoy their humiliation, rub it in their faces as much as is humanly possible, and ridicule them until our throats are hoarse because deep down, we all know that we don't get the opportunity all that often. Let us not forget that off the back of previous thumpings, Sir Alex's teams have rallied and come back strong. 5-0 defeats in 1996 and 1999 by Newcastle and Chelsea respectively were followed by title wins in the same season as was the 4-1 setback against Liverpool in 2009. The Red Devils' powers of recovery would put Wolverine to shame.

However, it is all too simplistic to use these previous examples to suggest that things will be the same this time around. Firstly, as stated, the strength of City team is like no other and would require a Lindsey Lohan style self-destruction to balls things up this season. Secondly, and most importantly, you have to seriously question how good this United side actually is. In the end, six was actually generous on a United defence that continues to look about as secure as James Cordon's belt buckle. The reds have conceded an average of 20 shots to the opposition per game at home in just five outings this season. To put that into perspective, the bottom three Blackburn (15), Wigan (16) and Bolton (17) have all allowed visiting teams less shots per game on average (Stats courtesy of www.whoscored.com). The fact that City enjoyed so much freedom in the attacking third will be no surprise to anyone who saw United get away with it against Cheslea and Norwich where the profligacy of the opposition did as much to contribute to victories as anything the home side did.

Constant changes in personal at the back haven't helped one bit but the questionable form of the players that have been called upon is a massive worry. The less said about Rio Ferdinand's current state, the better. Against City, one could argue that the scoreline may not have been so bad had Johnny Evans not been dismissed at 1-0 but let's be honest, Evans only has himself and his glaring limitations as a defender to blame for his red card.

Evan at that stage, you would expect a team of United's stature to show something in the way of caution and damage limitation against such a potent attack. Mind you, without any protection from an increasingly powerpuff midfield, the defence is always going to be in trouble. The likes of Fletcher, Carrick, Anderson, Gibson etc are simply not up to the standard of a top class club. Looking at the midfield's of Barca, Madrid, Chelsea and of course City, United falls well, well short and must improve drastically in this area if they want to continue to consider themselves in this upper echelon of football teams.

With great reluctance, I've long since extolled the virtues of Manchester United and unashamedly reeled off clichés about their ability to 'dig deep', having a will to win, not knowing when they are beat and possessing a winning mentality that all of Sheik Mansour's billions wouldn't be able to buy. However, none of this was evident against City as they imploded in such a horrific fashion it could have reduced small children to tears. In a local derby too, that is just not acceptable.

We all expect United to 'bounce back' but let's not take it as given this time around.

Also on Sunday, another derby took place down in my working locale of West London as Chelsea went to QPR for the first time in the Premier League in some 15 years. To the surprise of pretty much everybody, the Superhoops won 1-0 but the scoreline failed to tell the story of another eventful, if poor, match. The only goal was scored when the increasingly erratic David Luiz inexplicably fouled Heidar Helguson in the box before the Icelandic dusted himself down to convert the resulting penalty. The end of the scoring, but far from the end of the incident as Chelsea had Jose Bosingwa and Didier Drogba sent off before half time and had to play the entire second 45 with just nine men. I can't be sure of another occasion when a result has ever reflected so badly on the winning team. QPR, despite a two man advantage were abject and created very little. Neil Warnock's team seemed to want to play on the counter attack but a general lack of quality throughout the team meant every attack broke down. To their credit, Chelsea were by far the better side for the remainder of the match. They dominated possession, carved out a number of chances and most certainly deserved something for their troubles including a nailed on penalty that ought to have been awarded when Frank Lampard was fouled by Fitz Hall.

After the game, Andres Villas-Boas had a massive whinge about the referee Chris Foy who for once, actually had a decent game bar the Lampard penalty appeal. There can be no complaints about either dismissal. Bosingwa prevented a clear goal scoring opportunity and Drogba's tackle was two-footed and dangerous. End of. However, it does say a great deal about the standard of Foy's usual refereeing that only getting ONE decision wrong is reason for praise.
Ultimately, the result is a huge upset but one that almost goes under the radar thanks to the events in Manchester.

Another talking point from the match was England Captain John Terry apparently being caught on camera racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. The England Captain supposedly shouted that Ferdinand is a “fucking black cunt”. If the England Captain did say this, then I'm sure I'm not the wouldn't be surprised. We all know exactly what kind of person the England Captain is. Some typically blinkered Chelsea fans who fail to realise they worship a complete scumbag, have tried to suggest the England Captain was in fact 'only' calling the referee a “fucking BLIND cunt” as if that is acceptable. Even if this was the case, it's good to see the Captain of England in full support of the FA's RESPECT campaign.

However, having seen the video myself, I have to say that nothing is conclusive although my actual first thought was that he was in fact saying “fucking PIKEY cunt” to Paddy Kenny after a clash between the two. Still pretty offensive.

Terry himself has said it was a misunderstanding but he's hardly likely to say anything else, is he?



I would provide a link to draw your own conclusions but it of course the damning evidence can no longer be found. Presumably after the Premier League Stasi had it removed.

Elsewhere in London, Arsenal started to look something like their old selves beating Stoke 3-1 and playing with a kind of swagger that hasn't been seen at the Emirates for quite some time. That said, it was against a team that seems allergic to keeping possession. The frightfully prolific Robin van Persie, who was rested from the starting line up, came off the bench and scored the two decisive goals. Gervinho, who had his best game since signing in the summer, set up both the Dutchman's strikes after himself scoring the first. Peter Crouch had scrambled in an equaliser but it proved irrelevant. Whether the gunners are 'back' remains to be seen but they seem to be turning something of a corner following an absolutely wretched start to the campaign. The big test comes next weekend at Stamford Bridge but 5 wins in their last 6 should put them in good stead going into that encounter.

North London rivals Tottenham predictably beat Blackburn at Ewood Park (amid more protests against the hapless Steve Kean) with their own Dutch hero Rafael van Der Vaart grabbing a brace and keeping Spurs well on course to grab that much sought after last Champions League place. That said, it would be thoroughly disrespectful to a still-unbeaten Newcastle who beat Wigan to consolidate fourth spot on Saturday.

Other fourth place hopefuls Liverpool huffed and puffed but could not get the better of the Canaries of Norwich in Saturday evening's 1-1 draw at Anfield. Having dominated the game pretty much from start to finish, the final result was a travesty but quite simply, if you don't put away presentable chances then you don't win football matches. Grant Holt's equaliser in front of the Kop may not have been deserved but it was suitable punishment for the home side's comical wastefulness. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the country who laughed heartily as £35m uber-donkey Andy Carroll sent his stoppage time header to win the game wide of the target. Luis Suarez, for all his quality, must be disappointed with his conversion rate as he certainly doesn't score as many goals as his ability deserves. 'King' Kenny, without irony it would seem, made a point of discussing the need for protection for his diving cheat of a striker but would be better served getting the Uruguayan to spend a few more hours at Melwood practising his finishing.

Merseyside rivals Everton finally had something to smile about after beating Fulham 3-1 in a match that will be remembered a great Fulham goal and a great Fulham miss. Bryan Ruiz opened his his account for the Whites with a delicious chip that will go some way to be bettered this season and left the home fans in raptures. Their joy sadly turned to despair as Bobby Zamora missed a last minute chance to win the game by smashing the ball into the Thames when it would have been easier to score. Everton immediately went up the other end to score not one, but two goals to rub salt into the Fulham wounds. The worst thing about this is the fact that people STILL believe that Zamora should play for England.

Finally, the furious West Midlands derby between Aston Villa and West Brom was not going to pass without incident. For the record, Chris Herd's sending off was a joke. The fact that Chris Brunt took one of the worst penalties ever seen was a measure of justice. That said, Alan Hutton should have walked for a scandalous tackle on Shane Long that could have easily crippled the Albion man. It baffles me how stupid football people are when they think they can justify dangerous play by saying things like 'he played the ball'. Hutton's disgusting tackle is proof as if any is needed that winning the ball does not mean that a tackle isn't reckless. A foul isn't negated by winning the ball and I wish people like Alex McLiseh among others, could actually understand that.

Results

Saturday
Aston Villa 1-2 West Brom
Bolton 0-2 Sunderland
Liverpool 1-1 Norwich
Newcastle 1-0 Wigan
Wolves 2-2 Swansea

Sunday
Arsenal 3-1 Stoke
Blackburn 1-2 Tottenham
Fulham 1-3 Everton
Man Utd 1-6 (six) Man City
QPR 1-0 Chelsea

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Mor joy for Norwich - Weekend Observations 24th-26th Sept 2011: Part Two

Part One here

Monday night saw Norwich welcome a Sunderland team managed by one of their former legends in Steve Bruce. Apparently, many moons ago, Bruce scored an own goal 30 seconds into his Norwich career. Despite some 140 odd appearances, a league cup, promotion and club captaincy, Bruce probably still feels he needs to make amends to the club for his horror debut. I mean, how else could you explain him starting with a defence consisting of Titus Bramble, Wes Brown, John O'Shea and Keiran Richardson? That backline should be mightily relieved this game only finished 2-1 to the home side.

The last time the Norfolk side were in the top flight I was sharing a house with two of their fans so naturally I was quite clued about the goings on at Carrow Road and fairly familiar with their team. Less so these days. Particularly after manager Paul Lambert's transfer tourettes this summer.

I can't imagine there are many people who could tell you much about new striker Steve Morison who scored what turned out to be the winner. Morison is one of those true rags to riches stories we all like. Having spent a great chunk of the noughties in non-league football, he finally got a big move to Millwall in 2009 before a £2m transfer to East Anglia this summer. Now scoring goals at Premier League level, such a feat would have been unthinkable just a few years ago.

Judging him solely on this game, it must be said that he didn't look half bad, constantly terrorising the abovementioned Bramble on a number of occasions. Morison also scored a first international goal for Wales a few weeks back. Not bad for a player who was actually playing part time little over 5 years ago.

The last time Norwich were in the top flight we were also subjected to this...



...thankfully, there was no need this time around.

Despite the win, I still expect the Canaries to struggle. However, this match may have told us that Sunderland are likely to join them in the proverbial dogfight. Having been given the backing to recruit a number of new players in the summer, one would think the Sunderland board musy be putting pressure on Bruce to deliver. Something he is quite clearly failing to do. Rumours about his potential sacking might not be as far fetched as we might have thought a few weeks back.

On the theme of supposedly under fire managers, a peculiar thing happened this weekend. Arsenal played a football match that didn't result in cries of “crisis”, questioning of Arsene Wenger and broken crest images in every tabloid sports publication. If for only a few days, the football media will not be dominated by the gooners and their apparent demise following a pretty easy looking 3-0 win over Bolton. Key man Robin van Persie's brace meant he joined the Arsenal centurions club with his 99th and hundredth goals. While 2011 has been something of a shambles for the club, the Dutchman has excelled and alerted anybody that may have doubted him after his numerous injury troubles.

That said, there have been mutterings about his future at the club. With less than two years left on his current contract Arsenal fans the world over will be hoping the board start waving a juicy new deal under his nose to stop him looking elsewhere. The player himself hasn't exactly been forthright in his enthusiasm to stay and parallels with the Samir Nasri situation are unavoidable. Given the frequency with which Arsenal haemorrhage top class players, it is not difficult to conceive that the Europe's top clubs will be sniffing around N5 like vultures to pluck van Persie from his Emirates nest - especially with the highly possible scenario of the gunners missing out on Champions League qualification next season.

Van Persie opened the scoring with a neat near post finish before drifting in the box to convert Theo Walcott's centre. Alex Song wrapped up the points with a well struck third that would put certain other players in his team to shame.

It has gone somewhat unnoticed that Bolton are currently in a state of freefall. After their emphatic opening day victory at QPR, the Trotters seem to have tied lead weights to their ankles and jumped straight into the Irish Sea having lost every league game since. Owen Coyle is constantly praised as a good manager – some people have even, quite bizarrely, suggested him as the man to take over at the Emirates if Wenger is to leave his post – but for my money needs to prove himself by getting this 'not awful' Bolton side out of their current funk. Don't worry though. Only Chelsea next week...

The fact Arsenal didn't concede any goals that would win academy awards for comedy, talks of defensive coaches and 'proper' signings can be filed away. For this week at least. Next Sunday they go to White Hart Lane for the Siete Hermanas Classico in the rare position as underdogs. As much as people speak of Arsenal's slump in recent years, the most galling thing for Islington residents would be the fact that the previously hapless neighbours have been steadily moving in the opposite direction.

There's no greater sign of this upward mobility than the fact that two of the last four league meetings have gone the way of the Lilliwhites following a run of ten years without a single win in this fixture. Just a few years ago, when Arsenal where breaking records like plates at a Greek wedding, the idea of Tottenham in the Champions League would have been unthinkable. Not only did Spurs get further than their rivals in the competition last season, but right now I would doubt there is a single person either side of the North London divide that would even be remotely surprised to see 'Arry Redknapp's team muscle Wenger's team out of those coveted top four places.

After a shaky start to the season, Tottenham are looking ominously menacing as they ascend the league table. This weekend, they faced a potential banana skin at Wigan where previous incarnations of Spurs would not be have come away with the three points. Things have changed. Two of the team's star performers last season, Rafael Van der Vaart and Garath Bale got the goals in a valuable 2-1 win.

Luka Modric continued his faux 'redemption' or whatever with an assist for Bale's header while Emmanuel Adebayor further endeared himself to the Spurs faithful with an assist for the Dutch forward's opener. Is there a more certain outcome in football than the Togolese striker piling the misery on his former club by scoring next Sunday? Bet literally everything you have on it. Everything!



It was a tale of three penalties at Loftus Road as Neil Warnock was left fuming as pubescent referee Michael Oliver not only awarded a soft penalty to Aston Villa but failed to spot not one, but TWO handballs by Alan Hutton as the Villians rode their luck in the second half of a 1-1 draw on Sunday.

The spot kick that was awarded came as Armand Traore was deemed to have tugged the shirt of Gabriel Agbonlahor. In fairness, the benefit of replays showed that Oliver was right but he would have to have had supersonic vision (is that a thing? I'm saying it's a thing) to see it. The Sky commentators, as well as Warnock himself, made the point that when the supposed infringement took place, neither the Villa fans behind the goal, nor the Villa players appealed for a foul. That said, however 'soft' it may have been, if you tug someone's shirt, it's a foul and if you do it in the area, it is therefore a penalty. Don't really see why there was so much debate.

At the other end, Hutton, someone many are yet to be convinced is a competent outfield player, proved himself to be almost a better goalkeeper than Shay Given as he escaped two appeals for handball – the first potentially preventing a QPR goal. Typically, Neil Warnock showed his class by bleating away in TWO post match interviews on Sky. Have to say, listening to him go on and on makes it difficult to have a great deal of sympathy.

Justice was achieved in stoppage time however as a Richard Dunne own goal meant the points were shared. Amusingly, Gary Neville had just named Dunne, a defender I've never understood the hype around, as Man of the Match. That should teach broadcasters about making such premature announcements before the final whistle. This was also Richard Dunne's 314th career own goal or something, putting him ahead at the top of this unwanted scoring chart.

A draw was probably a fair result. QPR huffed and puffed but lacked any sort of cutting edge. Jay Bothroyd is unfortunately not a Premier League striker and the longer they rely on him as the spearhead of their attack, goals are going to continue to be hard to come by.

Alex McLiesh's team took 45 minutes to come alive and eventually made something of a game of it having been completely anonymous before half time. In similar vein to Pardew as I mentioned in part one, it's a minor miracle the former Birmingham manager has been able to keep Villa unbeaten after the loss of key players in the summer. That said, their approach isn't pretty and but on the whole they are horrible to watch. But for the controversy, this game would have yielded no talking points at all. Not sure how many people, Villa fans included, will be tuning in when they are on TV again.

Interestingly, no QPR player has scored a goal at their home ground this season. Superhoops fans will thanking their lucky stars that Tony Fernandes came in and torpedoed the outrageous ticket price rises put in by the previous owners because charing upwards of 70 quid a game to watch Rangers at present would probably see the club guilty of the kind of daylight robbery not unfamiliar to the local residents in the Shepherd's Bush area.

Finally, West Brom, with former Fulham manager Roy Hodgson, took on a Fulham side managed by former West Brom player Martin Jol in a game between two adventurous sides with suspect defences. The kind of game that would promise goals, right? Right??? Wrong.


Get your Tweets out for the lads!

Ch-Hell-sea, City-ing Pretty and Beck of the Net - Weekend Observations - 22nd May 2011

After all the fun and games of the relegation battle, other final day stories sort of took on far less significance. Do I give mention to the team who actually took the trophy home? Well, having secured the title a week before, I'm going to say no. Besides, aside from vomiting at the fact Johnny Evans and Darron Gibson picked up winners medals, what more is there to say? We've all seen them lift the trophy more than enough times down the years, the whole thing has become boring.


And I mean REEEEALLY boring...

As I planned to write this here blog (yes, some form of planning actually goes into this crap!) I was going to mention the fact that Chelsea's meek surrender in the title race and generally abject end to the season had gone relatively unnoticed and unreported. That was until the whispers about Carlo Ancelotti's future suddenly became so loud they managed to perforate the collective eardrum of the entire population of Kensington when Roman Abramovich actually went ahead and pulled the trigger - as is his wont and a major problem for the club - on the luckless Italian for having the gall to finish 2nd after winning the double in his debut season just last year. Useless so and so! At least he has time to go to the Flower Show this week.

Carlo's P45 followed The Blues' 1-0 defeat at Everton meaning third placed Manchester City's 2-0 win at Bolton capped what has been an impressive season for the... er, lighter shade of Blue(s) as they finished level on points with the West Londoners. The cash rich citizens' win also meant that Arsenal finished a lowly fourth in a season that promised oh so much at one stage. The last few weeks - a surprise win over the champions aside - have seen the North Londoners in freefall. A limp 2-2 draw at Fulham just about summed up their wretched second half of the season showing. The gunners went in needing to win to have any chance of catching City but the result at Craven Cottage was telling as Wenger's team weren't even capable achieving the bare minimum required of them on the day. A few more games and I am certain they would have missed out on Europe altogether so maybe they ought to actually be grateful for fourth...

The only shining light at the Emirates seems to the continued excellent form of Robin van Persie whose record 9th consecutive goal in away Premier League games and 18th overall this season makes you wonder what might be IF he can stay fit for a whole season and IF his manager decides to bring in some decent players to play alongside him.

Arch rivals Tottenham arrested their own recent rot with a 2-1 home win (finally) that of course sent Birmingham down while securing 5th place and Europa league qualification much to the dismay of 'arry and most people inside White Hart Lane. Having tasted the sumptuous delights of the Champions League banquet for the first time, you can't imagine they'll be too pleased to drop back into Europe's secondary competition – the equivalent of eating a cold service station Ginsters slice in a lay-by off the M25.

I know I've been down on the tiresome predictability of the Premier League for much of this season but,  I have to say that the final day made realise exactly why we still continue to watch and love this game oh so much. Has one round of fixtures produced so many top quality goals? I can't be bothered to check so instead I will doth my cap to [deep breath] Roman Pavlyuchenko, Craig Gardner, Brett Emerton, Junior Hoilett, Stephen Hunt, Stewart Downing, Charlie Adam and Stephane Sessegnon who were all seemingly trying to compete in their own goal of the week/month/season competition.

Special praise however goes to a man I have often suggested offers about as much of a goalscroring threat as a stroke victim. Step forward Jermaine Beckford who went all Leo Messi on us as he drove through the Chelsea team with a run from deep in his own half before a cheeky dink over Petr Cech to score a goal of such quality, it would have surely run Rooney close for strike of the season had it not already been decided prior to that last day. Well played that man. Still won't convince me he's any better, mind.


GOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAZO!!!!

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On Your Arse! - Carling Cup Final 2011

The first winner of domestic silverware this season was decided on Sunday as a Birmingham City side consisting of Stephen Carr and Liam Ridgewell somehow managed to overcome second in the Premier League and recent victors against the best club side in world football Arsenal in a 2-1 win at Wembley Stadium.

Goals from Nicola Zigic and Obafemi Martins secured the Blues' first trophy of significance since the free love and copious drug-taking days of the swinging sixties. No stranger to winning paper cups or whatever it is they award for success north of the border, Alex McLeish won the biggest prize of his career on Sunday – disrespect very much intended to the SPL.

The ginger Scot's is first bit of bling in England came in unexpected circumstances and he deserves full credit for motivating his team of relegation battling underdogs to the point where for much of the game they matched their more illustrious opponents. Europe beckons.

The Blues started on the front foot and could have had an early penalty had Lee Bowyer not been wrongly flagged for offside before being upended by Wojciech Szczesny. Had the decision been given and the red card brandished, this should have been the young pole's last involvement in the game. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't...

Nicola Zigic gave Brum the lead with a header from a corner. The most likely goal his team were going to score and the most likely that Arsenal would concede. Robin van Persie restored parity before the break but unsurprisingly tore all his ligaments and broke every bone in his body while doing so. He was substituted in the second half and probably won't play again this decade.

The second half saw Arsenal attempt to take control and forced Ben Foster into a number of decent saves – well, saves you would expect any keeper that doesn't play for The Gunners to make. Birmingham's winner came courtesy of a comical mix-up in the Arsenal defence between Laurent Koscielny and Szczesny who mis-kicked and fumbled their way to presenting the "26" year old Martins with the easiest goal a player could ask for.



To cap it off, this moment of self destruction from the oft unreliable Arsenal backline came in the 89th minute. Being Oscar weekend and all, if you were to write a script it would rank up there as one of the most dramatic ends to a cup final in many a year. For Arsenal fans the situation played out like a horror movie.

For the neutrals however, it was more like a Leslie Nelson (RIP) Naked Gun style comedy as Arsenal continued to perform more like a 'spoof' of a good football team. For all their talent, Arsenal are something of a joke. You can almost always count on them to look good for long periods but with all the predictability of the Sun rising in the morning, never quite having the stones to finish the job. When things do go wrong, more often than not it is self-inflicted; the Szczesny–Koscielny cock-up being a prime example. You wonder why so many opposition fans hate Arsenal given the team's unrivalled tendency to provide such great moments of joy.

Of the 90 thousand odd people packed into Wembley, I very much doubt there was one single person who genuinely believed that the result was going any way other than in favour of The Gunners baring a major calamity. Like I say however, at Arsenal, these calamities are the norm and if trophies were awarded for the ability to snatch unlikely defeat from the jaws of victory then the North Londoners would be the most decorated club in the country by a good distance.

Forgetting the mistake at the end that ultimately cost them the match, the team Arsene Wenger put should have the beating of Birmingham 99% of the time despite missing injured captain Cesc Fabregas. Fortunately for the Blues, Arsenal were never really at the races and didn't perform anywhere near what would have expected for a side so desperate to win a trophy. The likes of Nasri, Arshavin and even goal scorer van Persie didn't justify the plaudits they generally receive and ought to take a good long hard look at themselves having been bested by footballing nonentities like Lee Bowyer.

The Arsenal have failed to fulfil their much [over]hyped "potential" for far too long now and in some ways, this result wasn't actually a surprise at all. It's not a question of ability but rather a glaring mental weakness that you would be pretty daft to try and deny no matter how much of a die-hard goon you happen to be.



The reason Birmingham players were doing a merry jig with that odd three-handled trophy was because they quite simple showed up and wanted it more than the Gunners. This kind of failure in big, important games has happened far too often in recent years and shows little sign of abating. If you can't get up for beating Birmingham in a cup final, what chance would you have against better sides? This is exactly the reason so much attention is drawn to their trophy drought. People make a big deal of 4... 5... 6 years without a trophy because Wenger's team clearly are good enough but always bottle it when the time comes to deliver. Over the last 11 seasons Arsenal have actually lost in finals of the FA, UEFA, Champions League and Carling (2) cups. Off the top of my head, I can't think of another team of such prolific failures. If the club was a woman, you'd have her uterus examined after so many miscarriages...

Despite still competing on three fronts, this uncanny ability to buckle at the crucial moment could see the famous drought continue not just this season but for a number of years to come. Just ask Birmingham City fans who will tell you about their 48 year wait which has only just come to an end.

Man of the Match: Ben Foster

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Roo Beauty! Weekend Observations 12th-14th Feb 2011: Part One

There are times when you sit down to watch this absurd sport we call football where you forget your allegiances, ignore your prejudices and can do nothing other than applaud certain moments of greatness. There are those instances of individual brilliance that one can only look upon in awe.

Of course, one of these rare moments of magic took place in Saturday's Manchester derby and I think it is fair to say that every fan of the beautiful game was thinking the same thing:

Just how did David Silva manage to direct that ball into the top corner off his back?

I kid. Of course I refer to Wayne Rooney's overhead wunderstrike to win the match for United against crosstown cash-rich rivals City 2-1.



In this country we have become accustomed to everything that revolves around Old Trafford, and Rooney in particular, being spoken of with the kind of over exaggeration that would even look out of place in a Jim Carey movie. Manchester United Football Club has almost become a synonym for hyperbole. On this occasion however, when people immediately speak of this as Goal of the season with still a third of the campaign left to play, it's actually quite difficult to argue.

Aside from being just a technically brilliant strike that you imagine 90% of professional footballers would be unable to execute so effectively, the quality of the goal becomes amplified thanks to the situation in which it was scored. If Rooney scored that goal against someone crap like, say, West Ham, while United were cruising at 3-0, we would still praise the quality but we are no longer speaking about it in such glowing terms.

This goal is instantly 'better' because of the added significance: The winner, in a Manchester derby, with both teams going for the title, and Rooney himself having an otherwise poor game. There are few bigger stages on which to score the best goal of your career. After his disrespect towards the club last autumn, the few United fans with any common sense would have been right to be suspicious about where 'Wazza's' loyalty truly lay. Saturday might have just done enough to finally earn their forgiveness though.



After the dross the two teams served up at Eastlands in November, it was refreshing to see two of the best sides in the country put on a far more entertaining spectacle. City and Roberto Mancini get a lot of grief for their style of play and are often lazily labelled as dull or negative. After Saturday, anyone who held this view ought to change their opinion given the fact that it was indeed the Citizens who came out of traps the faster and for my money, were the better team over the 90 minutes. David Silva and Yaya Toure were the best players on the pitch in the first half and had the former put away his early chance, who knows how the game might have turned out? Vincent Kompany put in one of the defensive performances of the season. The eventual matchwinner never had a sniff and it was always going take something sensational for United to emerge victorious.

It is this very trait of The Reds however that has and will continue to lead them to victory after irritating victory this season. Excuse me for indulging in sycophantic cliché but sometimes it is necessary. For all the money spent by their neighbours, there is something present at Old Trafford that all the oil money in the world cannot buy: Team spirit and a winning mentality. This exactly why United will more than likely be celebrating their record-breaking 19th league title come May.

Ferguson's team are now eight points ahead of City while sandwiched between them remaining four points off the lead are Arsenal who showed no ill-effects of last weekend's dramatic capitulation with another comfortable home win. The 2-0 win over Wolves was mainly down to Robin van Persie who grabbed his 9th and 10th goals in 7 league games since the turn of the year. Blackpool are now the only current Premier League team he is yet to score against. Once more, you can only imagine what might have been over the last 5 trophyless years if the Dutchman had stayed fit. If Rooney gets the plaudits for a great individual goal, Arsenal's second gets the team award after a fantastic flowing move.

Mick McCarthy's frank admission that his team were spanked was about an honest an assessment you could get from an opposition manager. 2-0 flattered the away side as the gunners insisted on missing chance after glorious chance to make the final scoreline far, far more emphatic. The overall performance was encouraging given their date with their superior selves on Wednesday. However, if they manage to create even half the number of opportunities they did Saturday, Arsenal must stick them away because there isn't a snowman's chance in Hades they will get away with such profligacy against Barcelona.

Climbing into the top four were Spurs who went up to Sunderland without many of the players who have helped elevate them to such dizzy heights and came away from Wearside with a valuable 2-1 win. No Bale, Van der Vaart, Modric, King or Crouch. All signs pointed to a home win; particularly after the ever-impressive Asamoah Gyan gave the Black Cats a deserved first half lead.

But once again this season, Spurs showed impressive resilience and belief as they fought back from a losing position to take the points - despite the best efforts of William Gallas whose need to change his footwear more often than Carrie Bradshaw led to the concession of the opening goal. The winner was a fine volley scored, once again, by Nico Kranjcar whose recent contributions should force 'arry into a rethink before offloading him in the summer.

Sunderland will ultimately achieve nothing until they learn how to defend – a surprising fact given that they are managed by one of the best Premier League defenders of the early 1990s but less so when one realises that Titus Bramble is tasked with marshalling the backline. Going forward, they are an exciting and quite dangerous proposition but this open nature to their play will always give their opponents hope. January additions Sully Muntari and Stephane Sessegnon will hardly help combat this problem. Michael Dawson wouldn't have found it any easier to score the equaliser if he was playing against nobody.

Liverpool's recent return to form stuttered this week after a 1-1 draw at home to Wigan. Every week there seems to be some debate about active/inactive and first phase/second phases of offside. None of that should have been relevant at Anfield as defender Steve Gohouri scored the most offsidest of offside goals you are likely to see.

For the home side, Raul Meireles was once again the man of the moment after his volley gave them the lead - his 5th goal in six games. After an indifferent start to the season, all of a sudden, the Portuguese has become something of a player. It would be easy to put this down to the 'Dalglish effect' and to a point it's probably true that he has been liberated under the new manager. However, it would be folly to ignore the fact that, like most players from Foreignland, he, unfortunately for Roy Hodgson, needed time to settle in.

Some players however just come over and give the idea of an 'adaptation period' a swift kick in the balls and can become something of an instant hit. Luis Suarez looked dangerous yet again and was unfortunate not to add to his tally of one in one at Anfield after hitting the post and crossbar. When he gets a run of games, the Uruguayan is going to be a frightening prospect for defenders up and down the country for more reasons than his cannibalistic tendencies.




Part Two to follow

Hats the way to do it - Weekend Observations 22nd-24th January 2011: Part One

They say that things come in threes; Buses, Stooges, Wise men, Bronte Sisters and most relevant to the following blog, goals to complete a hat-trick.

It was a tale of two strikers and two hat-tricks at the top of the Premier League this weekend. For Manchester United, Dimitar Berbatov hit his third treble(which includes one quintuple) of the season in a 5-0 battering of Birmingham to consolidate top spot. Down in London, Robin van Persie almost single-handedly saw off Wigan with all three goals in Arsenal's convincing 3-0 home win lifting them to second.

As I always say about the gunners, when it clicks into place they look a frightening unit who have the beating of anyone. Consistency remains a problem but for the first time since Jesus was going through puberty it seems as though the spearhead of their attack is fit and firing.



Saturday's haul made it 6 in 3 for the Dutchman who is doesn't only contribute to the scoring charts but also provides a number of assists for his teammates. Share and share alike!

If van Persie can avoid a return to the physio room that has almost become a second home to him over the past few seasons then Arsene Wenger’s team are as good a bet as anyone to potentially prevent United from winning the league as well as challenge for other honours both now and in future.

That said, Saturday saw the reds look someway convincing for the first time in weeks as they swept aside a Birmingham team who seemed content to go to Old Trafford, bend over, look toward their more illustrious opponents with 'come hither' eyes and take a pounding all the while showing about as much resistance as Kerry Katona's g-string.

One could make the case that following their battling performance at St. Andrew's three weeks ago, Birmingham, under the leadership of one Sir Alex' cronies in Alex McLiesh, felt obliged to give United the freedom of Manchester on Saturday. If this wasn't the case then you really have to wonder why people rave about Roger Johnson who may as well been a traffic cone for the 'defending' he actually did.

As much as I'd like to, I can't be completely disingenuous towards United as I have to admit they looked about far better than they have all season. An ominous sign for the chasing pack. I have speculated before that if they could be as average as they have been so far but still head the table unbeaten, it will be curtains for the others when they actually started to play well.

Aside from Berbatov's hat trick, the fat waste of space Wayne Rooney who I condemned here just last week seems to have hopped into the DeLorean and travelled back to this time last year. Rooney looked some way near his best having been heavily involved in almost all five goals and showing some brilliant touches throughout. However, Shrek was still guilty of one of the misses of the season when he blinked and put a header wide from about a quarter of a centimetre out. Still only three for the season from the scouser.

A striker not concerned about his goal scoring form is multi-million pound Darren Bent who provided an instant return on the money Aston Villa invested in him with the winning goal in his new side's 1-0 victory over fellow frivolous spenders Manchester City.



People raise their eyebrows over the price and seem more than ready to point out his supposed limitations and highlight his dodgy period at Spurs where they seem to forget he was top scorer in his final season and had to play under the chaotic and constant managerial upheaval in his three years there. Admittedly, he may not have the attributes of some of his more high profile peers but as he showed with his goal on Saturday evening, he is more often than not in right place at the right time. He gets the goals, goals win games.

If nothing else, he's even somehow managed to make Gerrard Houlier smile!

As for City, the defeat saw them drop to third behind Arsenal and United who both have games in hand on them. It's not as if they were outplayed by Villa. They had their many chances but failed to find the back of net. One of those occasions that is often written off as a bad day at the office. However, but are bad days at the office becoming more frequent for City? Recently they have lost to Everton, lucky to come away from the Emirates with a draw and defensively suspect against Wolves. As much as I've touted them for success all season, they seem to be stuttering at present. Worryingly, the goal came from a Joe Hart error. Not his first over the last few weeks either. Has the England keeper curse struck again?

Villa's win over City lifted them away from the relegations zone which still contains a West Ham side unfortunate to come away from Goodison Park with a 2-2 draw against Everton. According to highlights, the Hammers actually looked half decent and put in a good performance despite the final result. The fact that they do seem to be fighting for their lives at present just highlights the absurdity of the Gold/Sullivan/Brady triumvirate and their constant undermining of cheerful Avram.

The main talking point from the game was the ridiculous red card issued to Frédéric Piquionne after he picked up a second yellow for celebrating his goal with his own fans. I don't much explanation is needed to describe how daft it is for this to be considered a bookable offence in the first place but equally daft are the players that continuously fail to recognise this and get themselves into trouble. The Frenchman has himself, and ONLY himself, to blame.

Also dropping points in the upper echelons of the Premier League, and after an outstanding Christmas period, the Tottenham train seems to be derailing somewhat at the minute after no league wins in their last three games. Their most recent setback came in Saturday's 1-1 draw against Newcastle at St. James' Park where in fact, Spurs were lucky to come away with anything following Aaron Lennon’s last gasp equaliser.

Apparently, 'arry was mugged on a scouting mission in Madrid last week. Against the magpies the tables were turned as it was his side doing the stealing as they managed to get away from the North with a barely deserved point.

A curious player is Lennon. Pacey and skillful but about as good with crosses as Dracula. The fact he can't use his left foot will always hinder his progress as player and I personally believe that this is solely down to those stupid tramlines he has shaved into the side of his head and eyebrows which clearly affect his balance.



Creeping up on City and pulling away from Spurs in a bizarre turn of events that I totally predicted would happen, Chelsea remembered that they were actually a half decent football team and put a laclustre Bolton team to the sword on Monday 4-0 with the sort of ruthlessness that had us all drooling and quaking in our boots in equal measure at the start of the season. Four goals from four different players - including the surface to air missle Didier Drogba decided to launch with is right foot - is a telling statistic that indicates that once more Carlo Ancelotti's men are working together as a cohesive, well-oiled unit and any talk of their demise has been vastly exaggerated. I think that so many people wanted to see Chelsea fall on their collective arse that they convinced themselves that Stamford Bridge was indeed falling down. A couple of recent convincing wins would suggest that this was never the case.

Whether or not they are 'back' remains to be seen. They have some serious ground to make up on the teams above them but in this most bizarre of seasons that seems totally devoid of anything that could even be mistaken for consistency, it would take a brave man to dismiss Chelsea's chances completely.

Part Two to follow

Taken for Granted: Weekend Observations 14th - 15th January 2011: Part One

Saturday saw Manchester City beat Wolves 4-3 and finally hit the dizzy heights of the top of the Premier League (albeit for a mere 24 hours) ahead of their crosstown rivals. However, what at one point what looked like an emphatic ascension to the summit turned out to be quite a nervy stumble over the finish line as the blues took their foot off the proverbial pedal whilst cruising at 4-1, almost allowing Mick McCarthy's side to come away from Eastlands with an unlikely draw.

The usually resolute City defence had VERY bad day at the office in a very unMancini-like performance. I've always said that winning the league, for any team, will require defensive solidity and stability. It would be going too far to suggest that the City backline is looking questionable but let's not ignore the fact that in their last league game at Arsenal, they looked far from secure in the opening exchanges and were it not for the home side's innate profligacy, Kolo and the boys would have been dead and burried before half time. In fact, this weekend's match was not dissimilar in style to the kind of matches overlooked by Mark Hughes last season. The epic draw against Burnley being a prime example.

It's hard not to be patronising or to resort to tedious 'never say die' cliches when talking about Wolves but what else can be said about their performance? A great first half display wasn't justly rewarded and as the home side almost found to their cost, Wolves also finished the game strong. Few would have begrudged them an equaliser had it come. They fully contributed to the most entertaining game of the weekend.

The highlight of an eventful game was the mazy run and finish by Carlos Tevez for his pant-wettingly brilliant first goal. With all the recent talk of unhappiness, homesickness and general moaning about life, other players would have wilted and you imagine many failing to maintain anything close to high standards on the pitch. Carlitos has been as effective for his team when smiling (a horrible sight!) as he is when doing his best Mr. Grumpy impression. If only his teammates "cough" Emmanuel Adebayor "cough, cough!" would adopt anything like the same sort of attitude.

The rest of the Man City attack also performed brilliantly despite the absense of messes Silva and Balotelli – a good response after all the criticism they faced for a percieved lack of ambition after the Arsenal game. The highlights gave the impression that 27 million pound man Edin Dzeko looked lively enough to suggest that he won't be out of place in the Premier League and that I might just find myself eating my words once more.


In what many are desperately trying to convince themselves is the most exciting title race for years and years and and years, third placed, no-title-for-seven-years Arsenal are keeping pace and enhanced their credentials with a rather convincing 3-0 hammering of... er, the hammers of West Ham. The ruthlessness and ease with which they dispatched of the East Londeners provided something of a fine response to the previous week's cup humiliations.

Any football fan watching could surely not help but be impressed by the fluidity of the passing and movement in midfield but what will please gooners most was the impact of part-time striker, part-time first aid dummy Robin Van Persie. The Dutchman continues delight with his ability as much as he frustrates with his constant injuries. Can he stay fit? Imagine the impact he could have on Arsenal's title challenge if he does. But as is always the same old story with Arsenal, the question is: IF?! Next week, they will probably drop points at home to Wigan and find themselves in 'crisis' again.

One team certainly in a genuine state of something resembling a crisis is the side Arsenal the put to the sword without breaking any sort of sweat. Rumours were abound all weekend that the West Ham board were about ready to get shot of the world's happiest man, Avram Grant and replace him with a man who already has claret and blue paraphernalia in abundance, former Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill. There has been a subsequent denial/show of support/vote of confidence from the club.

In truth, is it really fair to use a defeat against a side with title aspirations as an excuse to dump Avram? Recent results (the Newcastle massacre aside) would suggest something of an improvement in their fortunes. Bringing in a new manager at this point will surely just cause chaos in the changing room as a bunch of, let's face it, limited players try to adapt to a new way of thinking.

Besides, while admittedly achieving relative success at Wycombe and then Leicester, O'Neill's 'big' jobs at Celtic and Villa have involved something of a dependancy of being able to spend money. Something you cannot imagine he will be able to do at cash strapped West Ham. Is he a better manager that Grant? Almost certainly but you have to wonder if he could do any better with this current squad than the diminutive Israeli. You could argue that O'Neill would only damage his reputation by taking the Irons job. Keeping them up would be his minimum requirement and if he failed to do that he would be crucified.



However, if Grant had anything to do with the signing of Wayne Bridge, then that in itself is a sackable offence. What a shocker of a debut! The (thankfully) former England International was at some fault for all three Arsenal goals before putting the cherry on the cake by limping off injured before full time. People have suggested that he hasn't played much football recently and was rusty but whose fault is that? Bridge has been happy to sit on the bench at not one but TWO clubs for a number of years collecting a massive pay cheque and contributing the sum total of diddly squat. Bridge was SO bad that on Match of the Day, Alan Hansen who usually loves ridiculing poor defenders couldn't even be bothered to stick the boot in and so left him to Alan Shearer. When you have a striker and someone as dull as Shearer taking the piss out of your defending, maybe it's time to seek out a new career.

It wasn't a disastrous weekend for West Ham as almost all the teams in close proximity to them at the foot of the table failed to win their respective matches. The exception being West Brom who picked up a much needed and hard fought 3-2 win against a Blackpool side that continue to look at home in Premier League. Despite the loss, David Vaughan's opening goal for the tangerines was up there with some of the best at this level. Charlie Adam also displayed the kind of form that suggests there should be little surprise about the interest shown by other Premier League teams. If the likes of Steve Sidwell, Denilson, Keith Andrews, Lee Cattermole and Lucas can hold down careers at this level, then why not Adam?

Also down bottom, Fulham drew 1-1 at Wigan in a match where I was genuinely surprised to find out that Whites' goalscorer (in the loosest sense of the word) Andrew Johnson still existed.

For weeks I suggested Chelsea were going through a minor blip and would bounce back. The second I flip this and say that they might struggle to make the top four and their manager is in the firing line they decide to pick up the most routine of 2-0 victories over Blackburn. It is, how you say? Law of the sod. Branislav Ivanović, who opened the scoring showed footballers the world over the importance of shooting because the opposition defence may end up being just as abject as Rovers. Honestly, his shot seemed to have crept past the entire population of Blackburn as it trickled over the line! Speaking of whom, the Lancs club continued to make headlines for moments of sheer comedy by hiring former Arsenal barn door protector John Jensen as a coach. Given his almost tragic goalscoring record at Highbury, Rovers fans the world over will be hoping he isn't coaching their strikers.

Mind you his Only Arsenal goal wasn't that bad


Part Two to Follow...