Wednesday, 16 June 2010

World Cup Observations - Part 1: June 11-16

1. Firstly, some idiot reckons David Villa will end up as top scorer...

How did that one work out?

2. After seeing him mastermind a victory over most people's tournament favourites, I'm left scratching my head wondering why Ottmar Hitzfeld's name is never mentioned whenever big jobs in football come up? The man has won more silverware than most of the more 'fashionable' managers out there including not one, but two Champions league titles when you didn't have to face teams that finished fourth in their domestic league. Ok, so he doesn't wear a snappy overcoat or even have a name that I can make a decent puns out of but is that any reason to just ignore him?

With Liverpool currently managerless, the scousers could do a darn sight worse than Hitzfeld.

3. Like the rest of the world, I was left confused as to how a team with no readily identifiable flaws (Sergio Ramos' terrible barnet aside...) and on a frightening run of form coming into the tournament somehow lost to a team whose qualifying campaign included a 2-1 defeat to Luxembourg. Yes, Luxembourg!

My theory is that they have too many good players. Every great team needs a clogger or a passenger. You know, that special someone just shit enough to inspire the better players to play better. When everyone is so good, they just get complacent and expect one of the other world class players to do the job.

4. The greatest name in the World Cup? Chile's Waldo Ponce!

5. I'm sure you are all aware of the annoying sound that seems to accompany every game at this tournament. Yes, the repetitive and mind-numbing sound of people complaining about the vuvuzela's. Possibly the only noise more irritating that the vuvuzelas themselves. Get over it.

6. Also, everyone seems to be complaining about the all new 'roundest ever' Jabulani ball.

Everyone except Diego Forlan.

As an aside, if it is the 'roundest ever' it makes you wonder if they were playing football with big cube blocks back in the 1930s.

7. As someone of African origin, I am personally offended that Emmanuel 'no punctuation' Adebayor has been chosen as the 'voice' of African football on the BBC. Ihopethatno-onereallybelievesthateveryonefromthemotherlandspeakslikethat.

8. A peculiar thing happened this week. The oft-maligned German team who are quite often unfairly labelled with terms such as 'efficient' and 'conservative' went and played some great football and have easily stood out as the most entertaining team in an otherwise uninspired tournament so far. Conversely, their tango loving Orange clad neighbours from across the border whose game is regularly described as 'Schexy', were the ones who turned up and 'played it safe' to secure the win. What next? An England keeper that can catch?

9. However, before getting all uber excited by our German chums, we have to remember they were playing the Aussies who still had Craig Moore (age 74) in their defence. I don't know about the rest of you but doesn't it make you feel all warm inside to see an Australian sports team finally looking so helplessly rubbish at something?

10. Their Antipodeon neighbours somehow actually managed to score a goal in these finals and lose many people a bet by not actually bombing out of the tournament with nothing to show for their trip across the Indian Ocean.

Well done! And I mean that in the most patronising way possible.

Although you'd be hard pressed to find me a Kiwi that actually cares. Or even knows the tournament is going on for that matter.

11. I was in a pub watching Korea DPR not get entirely humiliated by eventual winners Brazil and was surprised at the amount of people who cheered their consolation goal. It's good to see football fans can come together and put aside silly little things like dictatorships and the threat of nuclear war.

12. Finally, before people start calling it “The Maicon”, let's remember that Brazilians have been doing that shit since forever.

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