Too Sixy for his shirt - Super Mario's Fire Power downs United: Weekend Observations - 22nd-23rd October 2011

Far be it from me to make almost ludicrous and churlish comparisons between football and genuinely serious world events but isn't it peculiar that for the second time in less than a week a long standing dominant, repressive regime has been toppled and a perceived benevolent dictator toppled and humiliated in his own back yard as a new ruling force comes into power? For Libya, see Manchester. For Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, see Sir Alex Ferguson. For the NTC, see Manchester City. As Libyan rebels took control of pro-Gaddafi stronghold Sirte this past Thursday, the Blues similarly marched into the impregnable fortress that is Old Trafford, where the home side had won 24 of their previous 25 matches, and came away with an emphatic 6-1 victory over the champions that probably had Fergie wishing he was hiding in a drainage pipe on the outskirts of Salford.

The United manager proclaimed afterward that it had been his worst day in football and you would be hard pressed to argue. The result was the reds' biggest defeat on home soil since 1955 and the first time United had conceded six goals at home since before the second world war (1930). More stats you ask? City's biggest away derby win in 85 years, first time City have scored 6 in a derby since 1926 and the scoreline also equals the biggest margin in Manchester derby win. When I was younger I saw a rampant Man Utd side destroy City 5-0 at Old Trafford. Never in a million years did I ever think I would see that reversed.

The massacre began with a goal from headline magnet Super Mario Balotelli who was in the news less than 24 hours earlier thanks to his premature Guy Fawkes celebrations going somewhat awry. After opening the score with a deft finish following great work by James Milner, mad Mario nonchalantly lifted his top to reveal a t-shirt emblazoned with the now famous question “WHY ALWAYS ME?”. Whether there is an answer that doesn't require the services of an entire team of mental health professionals, I cannot say for sure but I think I speak for most people when I say, I hope it continues to be 'always you', Mario.



The Italian grabbed a second after the break before Sergio Aguero, David Silva and two from substitute Edin Dzeko all made sure that the trip back to Surrey for the Old Trafford faithful would be a long and painful one. Darren Fletcher arguably scored the goal of the game by way of a response but it proved to be totally inconsequential.

The blues looked magical at times with the unplayable David Silva pulling the kind of tricks that would make Derren Brown look like Tommy Cooper. The little Spaniard put in one of the all time great Premier League performances and for my money, was the indisputable man of the match in team that had so many others playing so fantastically well. Micah Richards played like a man possessed both defending against Ashley Young and getting forward to contribute in attacks. James Milner was dominant in the midfield while Vincent Kompany put in a typically assured performance at the back. Even Joleyon Lescott looked like a competent defender for the most part.

It was always inevitable given their resources, that when this team got it together they would prove the toughest of nuts to crack but few envisioned that they could pull out a performance as jaw-dropping as this this against their nearest and dearest. The win leaves the expensively assembled cash rich Citizens now five points clear at the top of the table. After a result like this, it is difficult to see how anyone else is going to be able to keep pace with a squad so strong in every department as well as in reserve. Just think, the likes of Nigel de Jong and Samir Nasri weren't even needed at Old Trafford. That said, we all know that trophies aren't handed out in October so it would be tantamount to stupidity to declare them as champions elect at this stage.

Similarly, you'd be a fool of gargantuan proportions to write off their vanquished opponents. Anyone with even a passing interest in football knows that you dismiss United at your peril. As supporters of other teams, it is our right, nay, our DUTY to enjoy their humiliation, rub it in their faces as much as is humanly possible, and ridicule them until our throats are hoarse because deep down, we all know that we don't get the opportunity all that often. Let us not forget that off the back of previous thumpings, Sir Alex's teams have rallied and come back strong. 5-0 defeats in 1996 and 1999 by Newcastle and Chelsea respectively were followed by title wins in the same season as was the 4-1 setback against Liverpool in 2009. The Red Devils' powers of recovery would put Wolverine to shame.

However, it is all too simplistic to use these previous examples to suggest that things will be the same this time around. Firstly, as stated, the strength of City team is like no other and would require a Lindsey Lohan style self-destruction to balls things up this season. Secondly, and most importantly, you have to seriously question how good this United side actually is. In the end, six was actually generous on a United defence that continues to look about as secure as James Cordon's belt buckle. The reds have conceded an average of 20 shots to the opposition per game at home in just five outings this season. To put that into perspective, the bottom three Blackburn (15), Wigan (16) and Bolton (17) have all allowed visiting teams less shots per game on average (Stats courtesy of www.whoscored.com). The fact that City enjoyed so much freedom in the attacking third will be no surprise to anyone who saw United get away with it against Cheslea and Norwich where the profligacy of the opposition did as much to contribute to victories as anything the home side did.

Constant changes in personal at the back haven't helped one bit but the questionable form of the players that have been called upon is a massive worry. The less said about Rio Ferdinand's current state, the better. Against City, one could argue that the scoreline may not have been so bad had Johnny Evans not been dismissed at 1-0 but let's be honest, Evans only has himself and his glaring limitations as a defender to blame for his red card.

Evan at that stage, you would expect a team of United's stature to show something in the way of caution and damage limitation against such a potent attack. Mind you, without any protection from an increasingly powerpuff midfield, the defence is always going to be in trouble. The likes of Fletcher, Carrick, Anderson, Gibson etc are simply not up to the standard of a top class club. Looking at the midfield's of Barca, Madrid, Chelsea and of course City, United falls well, well short and must improve drastically in this area if they want to continue to consider themselves in this upper echelon of football teams.

With great reluctance, I've long since extolled the virtues of Manchester United and unashamedly reeled off clichés about their ability to 'dig deep', having a will to win, not knowing when they are beat and possessing a winning mentality that all of Sheik Mansour's billions wouldn't be able to buy. However, none of this was evident against City as they imploded in such a horrific fashion it could have reduced small children to tears. In a local derby too, that is just not acceptable.

We all expect United to 'bounce back' but let's not take it as given this time around.

Also on Sunday, another derby took place down in my working locale of West London as Chelsea went to QPR for the first time in the Premier League in some 15 years. To the surprise of pretty much everybody, the Superhoops won 1-0 but the scoreline failed to tell the story of another eventful, if poor, match. The only goal was scored when the increasingly erratic David Luiz inexplicably fouled Heidar Helguson in the box before the Icelandic dusted himself down to convert the resulting penalty. The end of the scoring, but far from the end of the incident as Chelsea had Jose Bosingwa and Didier Drogba sent off before half time and had to play the entire second 45 with just nine men. I can't be sure of another occasion when a result has ever reflected so badly on the winning team. QPR, despite a two man advantage were abject and created very little. Neil Warnock's team seemed to want to play on the counter attack but a general lack of quality throughout the team meant every attack broke down. To their credit, Chelsea were by far the better side for the remainder of the match. They dominated possession, carved out a number of chances and most certainly deserved something for their troubles including a nailed on penalty that ought to have been awarded when Frank Lampard was fouled by Fitz Hall.

After the game, Andres Villas-Boas had a massive whinge about the referee Chris Foy who for once, actually had a decent game bar the Lampard penalty appeal. There can be no complaints about either dismissal. Bosingwa prevented a clear goal scoring opportunity and Drogba's tackle was two-footed and dangerous. End of. However, it does say a great deal about the standard of Foy's usual refereeing that only getting ONE decision wrong is reason for praise.
Ultimately, the result is a huge upset but one that almost goes under the radar thanks to the events in Manchester.

Another talking point from the match was England Captain John Terry apparently being caught on camera racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. The England Captain supposedly shouted that Ferdinand is a “fucking black cunt”. If the England Captain did say this, then I'm sure I'm not the wouldn't be surprised. We all know exactly what kind of person the England Captain is. Some typically blinkered Chelsea fans who fail to realise they worship a complete scumbag, have tried to suggest the England Captain was in fact 'only' calling the referee a “fucking BLIND cunt” as if that is acceptable. Even if this was the case, it's good to see the Captain of England in full support of the FA's RESPECT campaign.

However, having seen the video myself, I have to say that nothing is conclusive although my actual first thought was that he was in fact saying “fucking PIKEY cunt” to Paddy Kenny after a clash between the two. Still pretty offensive.

Terry himself has said it was a misunderstanding but he's hardly likely to say anything else, is he?



I would provide a link to draw your own conclusions but it of course the damning evidence can no longer be found. Presumably after the Premier League Stasi had it removed.

Elsewhere in London, Arsenal started to look something like their old selves beating Stoke 3-1 and playing with a kind of swagger that hasn't been seen at the Emirates for quite some time. That said, it was against a team that seems allergic to keeping possession. The frightfully prolific Robin van Persie, who was rested from the starting line up, came off the bench and scored the two decisive goals. Gervinho, who had his best game since signing in the summer, set up both the Dutchman's strikes after himself scoring the first. Peter Crouch had scrambled in an equaliser but it proved irrelevant. Whether the gunners are 'back' remains to be seen but they seem to be turning something of a corner following an absolutely wretched start to the campaign. The big test comes next weekend at Stamford Bridge but 5 wins in their last 6 should put them in good stead going into that encounter.

North London rivals Tottenham predictably beat Blackburn at Ewood Park (amid more protests against the hapless Steve Kean) with their own Dutch hero Rafael van Der Vaart grabbing a brace and keeping Spurs well on course to grab that much sought after last Champions League place. That said, it would be thoroughly disrespectful to a still-unbeaten Newcastle who beat Wigan to consolidate fourth spot on Saturday.

Other fourth place hopefuls Liverpool huffed and puffed but could not get the better of the Canaries of Norwich in Saturday evening's 1-1 draw at Anfield. Having dominated the game pretty much from start to finish, the final result was a travesty but quite simply, if you don't put away presentable chances then you don't win football matches. Grant Holt's equaliser in front of the Kop may not have been deserved but it was suitable punishment for the home side's comical wastefulness. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the country who laughed heartily as £35m uber-donkey Andy Carroll sent his stoppage time header to win the game wide of the target. Luis Suarez, for all his quality, must be disappointed with his conversion rate as he certainly doesn't score as many goals as his ability deserves. 'King' Kenny, without irony it would seem, made a point of discussing the need for protection for his diving cheat of a striker but would be better served getting the Uruguayan to spend a few more hours at Melwood practising his finishing.

Merseyside rivals Everton finally had something to smile about after beating Fulham 3-1 in a match that will be remembered a great Fulham goal and a great Fulham miss. Bryan Ruiz opened his his account for the Whites with a delicious chip that will go some way to be bettered this season and left the home fans in raptures. Their joy sadly turned to despair as Bobby Zamora missed a last minute chance to win the game by smashing the ball into the Thames when it would have been easier to score. Everton immediately went up the other end to score not one, but two goals to rub salt into the Fulham wounds. The worst thing about this is the fact that people STILL believe that Zamora should play for England.

Finally, the furious West Midlands derby between Aston Villa and West Brom was not going to pass without incident. For the record, Chris Herd's sending off was a joke. The fact that Chris Brunt took one of the worst penalties ever seen was a measure of justice. That said, Alan Hutton should have walked for a scandalous tackle on Shane Long that could have easily crippled the Albion man. It baffles me how stupid football people are when they think they can justify dangerous play by saying things like 'he played the ball'. Hutton's disgusting tackle is proof as if any is needed that winning the ball does not mean that a tackle isn't reckless. A foul isn't negated by winning the ball and I wish people like Alex McLiseh among others, could actually understand that.

Results

Saturday
Aston Villa 1-2 West Brom
Bolton 0-2 Sunderland
Liverpool 1-1 Norwich
Newcastle 1-0 Wigan
Wolves 2-2 Swansea

Sunday
Arsenal 3-1 Stoke
Blackburn 1-2 Tottenham
Fulham 1-3 Everton
Man Utd 1-6 (six) Man City
QPR 1-0 Chelsea

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PFA Player of (some of) the year 2010/2011 nominees

Spring time. The sun is out, the birds are singing, flowers are in bloom, the days are longer and otherwise unattractive members of the human race all of sudden become far more appealing for whatever it is consenting adults choose to do behind closed doors. Spring also brings with it the conclusion of the football season and with it the depressing realisation that the months on end you've spent watching your team in the vain hope that they won't disappoint you yet again have been wasted as, predictably, they disappoint you yet again.

In time honoured tradition, the end of the football season sees various trophies, medals and other such shiny trinkets being lavished onto both teams and individuals for their various achievements over the winter months. Of course, with enough of the campaign remaining between now and May for major changes to still take place, one would think it would make sense to wait until then before the customary back-slapping and brown-nosing over which player was supposed to have been the 'best' in the league since August.

Not the PFA however. No, the player's player of the year award is based on what an individual has managed to achieve in only three quarters of season making it, in some people's eyes (mine), somewhat flawed. Given that the eventual winner could go on to have a stinker in his remaining games or have another player perform better than him over the next few weeks, I'm sure I'm not alone in suggesting that maybe they should wait before the customary arse-kissing that takes place?

The PFA award is voted for by fellow players. Coupled with the dodgy timing of the award, you may also wonder whether the pros are best placed or indeed have the nous to make an informed and more importantly, objective decision as to who is most deserving of the prize. But alas, things are as they are and ultimately, who are we to question it?

The shortlist of nominees was announced on Friday:

Gareth Bale


Pros: Once upon a time, the White Hart Lane faithful would shudder when the name Gareth Bale was read out pre-match thanks to his reputation as something of a jinx. It's not that he was a 'bad' footballer but there was certainly a feeling that the young Welshman was about at home in a Tottenham shirt as a Katie Price in a convent. This all changed last season as 'Arry realised that Bale was a left winger and subsequently played him there rather than in the left back position where he had previously struggled so badly. After playing a major role in getting Spurs into the Champions League, Bale started this season with a bang keeping his side within touching distance of the top of the table with a number of man of the match displays. His goal at Stoke in the autumn is up there with one of the strikes of the season and will hopefully not be forgotten in the glut of great goals over the campaign.

Bale however, saved his best for Europe as he blasted himself into the consciousness of the of the entire continent following two masterful displays against the European Champions Internazionale including a jaw-dropping hat-trick at the San Siro in a 4-3 defeat. These performances alone led to many over-excitable 'experts' declaring that Bale was as good, if not better, than the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi!

Cons: This kind of over excessive praise and the fact that, in truth, Bale has come nowhere near living up to it. To equate him to Messi and Ronaldo is an insult to both those players as well as the likes of Xavi, Iniesta, Sneijder, Robben, Villa and any other player that has been good for more than five minutes. Yes, an 'exciting' player but then again, so was Jose Dominguez. To suggest that Bale is one of the best players in the world is mind-boggling simply by virtue of the fact his productivity is below par for someone of his talent. Despite being a nightmare to defend against, his 7 league goals and ONE paltry assist in 25 games suggest his overall output this season has not nearly lived up to the hype he generates. Against Real Madrid last Tuesday, the so-called best player in the world only completed 5 of his pitiful 8 passes in Spurs' 4-0 pasting. Ok, injury has blighted his progress but it seems when people go mad over the Welshman their opinion is clouded by those matches against Inter which, let's face it, get further away with each passing day.


Samir Nasri


Pros: Once heralded as a the 'new Zidane' and while not quite as good as the best European footballer of all time, Samir Nasri has shown this season that such comparisons are not as outrageous as they may initially seem. Up until his injury in January, Nasri was far and away the stand out performer in an Arsenal team that looked to be on the verge of greatness this season. His form was so good and so inspiring for the gunners that injury to Cesc Fabregas in the Autumn was not as damaging as first feared with some even suggesting Nasri could even seamlessly take over from his captain should the latter run off to Barcelona.

Nasri's main attribute is the kind of close control you only see in computer games. Add some pace, balance and trickery and in Nasri you have one of the finest creative players in the league this season. Having netted 9 times in the league, it's not been the quantity but rather the quality of his goals that have people in awe of his ability. In a team choked with talented players, it says a lot about Nasri that he has been the best.

Cons: Nasri is like a microcosm of Arsenal football club in recent years. Adventurous, skilful and very easy on the eye but a tendency to fall short before the final hurdle. Like Bale, injury may have played its part but Nasri has gone off the boil on in the new year. Of course, it's unfair to place all Arsenal's failings at his feet but a greater contribution would have been expected from him in recent weeks and had he produced anything close to what he has shown he can, it's unlikely that his side’s season would have gone into such dramatic freefall.

Carlos Tevez


Pros: Following his controversial pan-Manchester transfer a couple of years back after Sir Alex Ferguson declared that he 'wasn't worth the money', Tevez has arguably become the best striker in the league. Where the Argentine differs from his peers is a unique level of tenacity. Not only is he there to stick the ball in the back of the net but his work rate is second to none. Barely a City game passes where you don't sit there thinking "By 'eck! That Tevez doesn't half work hard".

Despite the embarrassment of talent squeezed into their squad and given their indifferent performances over the year, you do wonder if City would still be in with any sort of shout for any honours without him. So many times he has been the sole factor between a draw (or perhaps even a defeat) and three precious points.

Cons: Not so much anything he has or hasn't done on the field but his behaviour but his general attitude and demeanour over the course of the season. The whole saga over his transfer request and alleged fallings out with the manager has undermined City’s challenge this year. Ok, he still puts in a shift on the pitch but as captain and leader of an increasingly volatile collection of individuals, he surely could and should have been setting a better example.

Scott Parker


Pros: It's certainly fair to say that West Ham would most likely already be down if it wasn’t for Parker and his all too regular inspirational acts of leadership both on and off the pitch. Lord knows Avram needs all the help he can get and since sneaking cyanide into the opposition's Lucozade bottles might not go down so well with the authorities, the next best thing is having a player like Parker who not only contributes to attacks but also does that thing we English love oh so much: grafting. Box-to-box midfielders in this mould are all too rare in the modern game. With an abundance of deep-lying forwards, playmakers and anchormen all forming sub-categories of the traditional central midfielder, what Parker does seems to stand out all the more. Dynamic is an all too simplistic description of him and he has fully earned his place in the England set-up recently.

Cons: He plays for West Ham. No disrespect to the Hammers but they have been pretty abject over the past two years. Ok, this may sound like big club snobbery but if a good player stands out in a poor team, does that not distort our perception of him? Is being 'good' at West Ham the same as being average at say.... Chelsea? Something Parker himself can answer from experience. Like any half decent player at a 'better' team, it shouldn't be a surprise to see him thrive in such an environment. Should he really be a rewarded for being a big fish in a small pond?


Rafael van der Vaart

Sylvie....

Pros: Ok, it's lazy and often redundant to quote transfer fees given that one player's value is almost never determined in relation to the value of another but in a world where a team can spend 35 million English pounds on a lump of a striker with half a season's Premier League experience, it seems crazy that Tottenham were able to snap up a regular Dutch international from Real Madrid for a mere £8million. In real terms this was the equivalent of going into Currys and finding a 50 inch plasma screen TV with a £100 price tag on it. This transfer wasn't just value for money, it was value AGAINST money (does that make sense? Probably not) and made a mockery of most transfers in football history. Van der Vaart didn't even require anything of a settling in period and took to the Premier League with ease. Playing as a second striker, he provided the perfect link between the creativity of Modric in midfield and the goals of, in particular, Crouch as a front man who he seems to work best with. His own haul of 10 league goals is not too shabby either.

Blessed with creativity and vision, the Dutchman added a new type of directness to the Tottenham team and certainly improved what was already a high-quality style of play under 'Arry. Alongside the abovementioned Bale, people were impressed enough at one stage to even speak of Spurs as potential champions this season. Signing of the season? Probably. Bargain of the season? No question.

Cons: On a continuing theme that surely justifies my argument that these awards are handed out far too early, his form has tailed off in recent months as has his attitude. Injuries haven't helped but perhaps more applicably, the Dutch have earned a reputation, in football at least, as being temperamental, argumentative and downright stroppy. On more than occasion following substitution, van der Vaart has irritated his manager by storming off down the tunnel in a huff. Unlike Tevez, the Tottenham man very much strikes me as the kind of player who will allow his unhappiness to creep into his game and ultimately, his performances will suffer.

Charlie Adam


Pros: The gaping chasm between the Premier League and football league is generally always going to see teams and players from The Championship come up and struggle. Therefore, I am always encouraged to see a player able to make the transition without much trouble. Aside from just making the transition, Blackpool's Charlie Adam has slotted himself and looks right at home. Adam's ability will certainly have proved to be a pleasant surprise to anyone who didn't follow Blackpool promotion-winning run last season but even for Championship fans and even those who saw his fantastic free kick in the Play off final (a trick he has had no trouble repeating), no-one would have expected him to be as good as he has been. This a reject from the SPL for Christ sake!

Adam's physical stature obviously doesn't invoke images of a flair player but don't let his frame fool you. Yes, he is a 'hard worker' but Adam shines through his flair, creativity and keen eye for goal. Like Scott Parker, Adam inspires the lesser players around him to play better. Transfer shenanigans in the winter almost saw him depart Bloomfield Road and you can easily see him staying in the Premier League next season even if Blackpool do not.

Cons: How many times have you heard pundits, journalists, bloggers etc refer to Blackpool as a breath of fresh air? It has been accepted practice to patronise Ian Holloway's team as they have performed beyond all expectations this season. Hang about, these are not park footballers. They are still professionals and it grates even at this stage of the season to still be surprised at the fact some players you never heard of before this campaign can actually get the ball down and play. In that respect, Charlie Adam is almost a poster boy for this 'plucky little team' of apparent nobodies and you can't help but feel that his nomination is an example of tokenism. I like Adam but he certainly isn't the best player in the league and giving it to him would come across like nothing more than overblown sentiment not far off the ludicrous decision to award it to Ryan Giggs a couple of years back.


Nemanja Vidic


Pros: Hoo-effing-ray!!! People actually realise that you don't need to be some poncey, fancy dan, orange-boot wearing attacker to be a good player. Some recognition for the guys at the other end at last. In The Republic, Plato talked about the rulers, or Philosopher Kings. Below them would be the Auxillaries, guardians or soldiers. Applying this hierarchy to football, the perception would surely be that the attackers are the rulers while the defenders would be the auxillaries. Without doubt the leader of these Soldiers would Vidic. The Serb is unquestionably the number one centre back in the division and this season more than any previous has he had to show it. Vidic has also been without his fellow defensive chum Rio Ferdinand for much of the season which just shows that they don't necessarily need to play as a partnership in order to thrive. With or without Rio, Vidic has been rock solid for much of the season. The general consensus is that this United team is one of the poorest for years yet unbelievably the team are still looking at a potential if not unlikely treble. Whether this happens or not, Sir Alex Ferguson will surely be looking at the general sturdiness of his Vidic in his back line to prevent defeats in many games when their performances deserved it.

Cons: On the rare occasion Vidic performs badly, he doesn't so much self destruct rather he sets himself on fire before diving head first into a barrel of gunpowder! The most recent example was in last week's controversial game at West Ham where he was an accident waiting to happen and extremely fortunate not to receive his marching orders. In years gone by, his struggles against Fernando Torres were well documented. In this year's game at Stamford Bridge, the misfiring Spaniard's mere presence in the stadium was still enough to unsettle Vidic into getting sent off... probabaly.


Does the fact that the list features two players involved in the relegation battle reflect the quality of the league? And if so, in a positive or a negative way? Nasri, Bale and van der Vaart have all missed a fair part of the season through injury and all three have suffered for form recently yet still make the list. Make of that what you will.

I maintain that there still too large a portion of the campaign to make a decision. Why not wait? What is the big rush? There is still time for players not on the shortlist who have had an impressive year (Nani? Kompany? Ashley Cole? Chris Brunt???) and can still have a major impact between now and May.

But I guess that would make too much sense.

Personally, I think Parker deserves it.

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Midweek Observations 4th-5th January - Part Two: Tough at the Top

At the top of the league it was business as usual as Manchester United, for the umpteenth time this season, managed to win a game whilst being far from their best. The 2-1 victory over Stoke City at Old Trafford was exactly what was expected and provided literally nothing of note worth talking about so I will give it no more attention beyond this very sentence.

United remain unbeaten and are favourites for the league title. Two bizarre facts given the fact they've barely looked anything above average this campaign. From their point of view this is surely a good thing. The reds famously have a reputation for performing better in the second half of the season and seeing as they have been pretty crap up until now yet still sit comfortably at the top of the table the situation looks ominous for the rest. Imagine if Wayne Rooney remembers how to play football as well!

... Although they might not need him to if this guy carries on as he has been recently


That said, an improvement in their performances will be vital as their remaining fixtures see them having to face Chelsea both home and away, cross-town rivals City at Old Trafford as well as trips to White Hart Lane, the Emirates and Anfield. Sir Alex Ferguson will know that there is no way his side will come away from such a daunting set of fixtures unscathed playing the way they are at the minute.

Of course, this could all be academic and the Reds could win the title by default if all their so-called rivals insist on continuously taking a sawn-off shotgun, pointing it towards their collective feet and pulling the trigger. This midweek round of games has proven to be quite fruitful.

I touched on Chelsea's defeat and many problems in part one. While I'm wary of writing them out of the title race (because like herpes, they will never quite go away completely...), I imagine that after 6 league defeats and a poor run that sees no sign of abating, Carlo's blues have a challenge on their hands to simply finish in the coveted top four let alone win the league.

Naturally, this is the cue for them to go on a 10 game winning streak making me look stupid.

Across London in the beautiful north, both Arsenal AND Spurs are harbouring realistic title aspirations for the first time since flares, afros and LSD were in fashion. Arsenal's kids appear to have finally 'matured' and Tottenham are playing as well as anyone the league. Victory against Fulham last weekend was their ninth league game without defeat since the start of November. Champions? Maybe a stretch too far but the year does end in a 1...

Wednesday night however saw both sides stutter. Spurs faced a tricky match on paper away at Everton and so it proved as Louis Saha inspired the Toffees to a 2-1 victory despite the best efforts of Rafael van Der Vaart who wasn't far off winning the game by himself for the away side.

If Spurs are to maintain their challenge for top honours, the mercurial Dutchman will certainly be central to this. Having had problems with injuries in the first half of the season, 'Arry will be 'oping to 'igh 'eaven that one of the most important players in his team can stay relatively fit from now until May.

You'd probably play as well as Rafael van der Vaart if you knew you had the lovely Sylvie waiting for you at home as a reward

Meanwhile at The Emirates, United's two closest challengers faced off with second place Manchester City frustrating third place Arsenal in a 0-0 stalemate. Recently, I lamented the state of play with the Gunners questioning the purpose of a side that can at times look head and shoulders above anyone else in terms of ability with some mesmerising football but ultimately fall short because they only know hoe to play one way. As soon as the opposition figure out a way of stifling this, Arsene Wenger's team seem to run out of ideas.

And so it proved when City came to town.

In case you missed it – for which you should be thankful to whichever deity it is you pray to – the game was the most one-sided encounter you could expect to see at this level (bestest mostest competitive league in the world ever. Blah, blah, blah, etc). Arsenal set out to attack, City didn't. Arsenal controlled possession, City didn't. Arsenal tried to win the game, City... well, you get the picture.

There were a couple of red cards for Pablo Zabaleta and Bacary Sagna that I guess I ought to mention but even in this situation it was the Arsenal man who showed more attacking intention.

In the end, City played for a point and achieved their goal while Arsenal will regretfully look at this as two points dropped. For all their posturing, the gunners were nothing short of flaccid in the final third. Van Persie, Walcott and Wilshire were all guilty of missing chances. If this were a fairy tale, it would be the Three Little Pigs. The big, bad wolf huffed and puffed but proved about as useful at blowing as a nun.



Much noise has been made about City's 'negativity' and game plan of simply avoiding defeat rather than actually contributing anything to the football match but the home side still had their chances and failed to take them. City's tactics can hardly be blamed for this. Yes, the blues were defended brilliantly in the second half but in the first 45 they were all over the place. Had Wenger's team been more clinical, they would have been home and dry by the interval and City's tactics would have been rendered irrelevant.

Besides, regardless of its aesthetic merit or lack thereof, someone ought to remind the so-called purists out there that defending is a part of football too and an art that warrants the same admiration as free-flowing passing, 30 yard volleys and any aspect of the attacking side of the game one would care to mention.

So, Arsenal play great football but still sometimes lack the cutting edge to make them truly great and Man City can be incredibly dull but effective.

This match taught us nothing.


Results

Tuesday

Blackpool 1-2 Birmingham City
Fulham 3-0 West Brom
Manchester United 2-1 Stoke City


Wednesday

Arsenal 0-0 Manchester City
Aston Villa 0-1 Sunderland
Blackburn Rovers 3-1 Liverpool
Bolton 1-1 Wigan
Everton 2-1 Spurs
Newcastle 5-0 West Ham
Wolves 1-0 Chlesea

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Nani State - Weekend Observations 30th October - 1st November 2010: Part One

First major talking point comes, not for the first time, from Old Trafford and another, let's say, favourable example of officiating from which the home side were able to benefit. For anyone that didn't see it, Nani scored United's decisive second goal in the 2-0 win over Tottenham after throwing himself to the ground rather easily, handling the ball deliberately before getting up and putting the ball in the back of the net when the Spurs goalkeeper justifiably believed his side should have been awarded a free kick by Mark Clattenburg.

A crack team of the finest minds on the planet couldn't work out why the Durham official allowed the goal to stand. Firstly, if the ref did not feel Nani deserved a penalty, the Portuguese should have been yellowed (yes, yellowed!) for what in football-speak is known as simulation (diving to you and me). If not, and Clattenburg deemed the tumble to be accidental, there can be no denying that Nani deliberately handled the ball while on the ground. Again, this could have been punished by a yellow card (although a rudimentary google search tells me that a card of either colour is not mandatory for this offence) but at the very least Spurs should have had a free kick. If Clattenburg didn't see the handball as some have suggested, the whole world saw his assistant set him straight. Why did he ignore this advice and gave the goal anyway?

The defence put forward is that Spurs were given the opportunity to play an advantage although I'm left scratching my head as to what 'advantage' there was to be gained when Gomes put the ball down with Nani standing near enough to ultimately score the debatable goal. In truth, Heurelho Gomes made the ultimate schoolboy error by not "playing to the whistle" something you are instructed to do from the very day you lace up your first pair of Gola football boots and regularly toe-punt the ball into no particular direction from a young age. However, was it really unreasonable of the Brazilian to think he deserved a free kick after Nani's deliberate handball? Clattenburg stood shrugging his shoulders. Since when has that been the signal to 'play on'? He should have made it clear that he was allowing an advantage.

As for the culprit himself, unsporting as it may have been, he had no option but to put the ball in the net. As Darren Fletcher so eloquently put, he would have been on the receiving end of a 'bollocking' had he not done so. Modern football is bereft of any sense of fair play that players will get continue to try and steal an advantage wherever they can until they are punished appropriately by the officials; something Clattenburg and his colleagues failed to do in such spectacular fashion on Saturday evening leaving 'Arry rightly peeved. It's also a shame for Nani himself as this moment overshadows what was other a very good performance from him.



There is a perception in the English game that the bigger sides, Manchester United in particular, often get the big decisions go their way and incidents like this do nothing to change that view. What also doesn't help is the fact that Clattenburg sent away all the Spurs players - booking Modric in the process - but allowed Rio Ferdinand to continue to mouth off next to him while conferring with the assistant.

But while Spurs were right to feel hard done by (let's be honest, this isn't
the first dodgy decision to go against them at Old Trafford in recent years... come to think of it, it's something of a regular occurrence) let's not forget they were still 1-0 down at the time and it was very late in the game. Of course, we will never know if they would have managed to grab an equaliser in that time but on the evidence of the game, it didn't look likely. Nani's goal was the difference only between either losing 1-0 or 2-0. Also, it would be unwise to ignore the fact that they themselves have been on the receiving end of favourable decisions so far this season against Stoke and Fulham respectively. C'est la vie. If I knew what people meant when they say 'Swings and Roundabouts' I'm sure I could apply it here too.

The away side had lots of possession but this ultimately failed to translate into any clear cut opportunities against a United side many would have argued beforehand that they had the beating of. Current crowd favourite Rafael van der Vaart has been considered something of a revelation at White Hart Lane thus far with his pant-wettingly impressive performances. Looking a bargain at a mere 8 million quid and already being prematurely touted as signing of the season, many would have thought he would provide to inspiration for a Tottenham team looking to win at Old Trafford for the first time since the Berlin Wall was still standing tall, Nelson Mandela was wearing stripped pyjamas and the B-52s were tearing up the charts inviting us into their "Love Shack" (1989 – simpler times). Unfortunately, 21 years of hurt for Spurs is set to continue for another season as the Dutchman failed to make any impact baring one shot that rattled the post in the first half. One of the most noticeable things about the former Real Madrid man's performance was his instance on trying to do everything by himself and failure to acknowledge better placed team mates. As good as he appears to be, he doesn't strike me as much of a 'team player'. 'Arry gives him license to do as he pleases and while it works against smaller sides, he needs to be less selfish against the better teams if he is to pose the kind of threat expected of him.



Mrs. van der Vaart. Why? WHY NOT!?!?


That's not to say that Tottenham are, or need to be, solely dependant on one player to pull their proverbial strings. One team that may have become guilty of this are United's affluent cross-town neighbours City whose attack, sans Carlos Tevez, can only be described as flaccid. I warned a couple of weeks ago about the need for greater contribution from the rest of Mancini's Millionaires and for all their talent, this hasn't transpired in their two most recent Premier League games culminating in Saturday's shock 2-1 loss against a Wolves side who, for my money,are getting relegated this season.

Dusting off the Big Book o' Clichés, I am compelled to use the expression that a week can be a long time in football. Last Saturday people were talking about Man City being the only team capable of challenging Chelsea. Two defeats later and the same people are now questioning whether Roberto Mancini is up to the job and with rumours of internal conflicts also continuing to surface, it just makes the whole bizarre situation at the club even more surreal. For me, it's damn near impossible to comprehend that a squad bloated with that much talent wont find a way of coping without Tevez, however long the Argentinean is out for. If they manage to secure victory in the forthcoming Manchester derby in a few weeks, those people claiming that the club is in 'crisis' will be backtracking once more.

That said, they now look some way off the Chelsea side they managed to beat a few weeks back. The Blues managed a late 2-1 win against a spirited Blackburn side that actually looked as though they set out to play a game of football rather than their own unique brand of rugby league that Sam Allardyce usually sends them out to pla... oh, can't say that now, can I? Anywho, with the game locked at 1-all in the second half, Rovers had their chances to win it and by right should have inflicted the West Londoners second defeat of the season right there at Ewood Park. Jason Roberts was undoubtedly guilty of squandering the best of these chances, scuffing wide a 1 on 1 when it would have been easier to score... blindfolded! With that kind of finishing, it's no surprise that Roberts has averaged less than one goal every FIVE appearances for Blackburn to date.

Chelsea eventually won the game with a late Blanislav Ivanovic header and remain a fairly comfortable 5 points ahead of the chasing pack. In second place are Arsenal who themselves scrambled an 88th minute Alex Song winner against bottom club West Ham in a game where The Gunners somehow managed to look fairly average in despite damn near total domination of possession. Cesc Fabregas limped around with an achy-breaky hamstring which, going on the usual recovery time of injured Arsenal players, could yet rule him out of some important fixtures once more over the coming weeks. When he's on the pitch and not playing well, it's worrying to see how much this transmits to every other player in Red and White and this was no more evident than on Saturday. Still, 3 points iz 3 points, innit? The Hammers wouldn't have expected much from the game but would also not have been too happy to see wins for fellow relegation candidates Wolves and Liverpool...

Part Two to follow...

Weekend Observations 2nd-3rd October 2010: Part 2

Part one here

Another weekend, another debate about tackling. Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong seemed to have set the tongues wagging once more following two examples of the most reckless and dangerous play you are ever likely to see on a football pitch. Karl Henry’s tackle in Wolves’ defeat at Wigan was so unbelievably mistimed he wasn’t even in the same time zone as the very ball he claims he was making an attempt to play. How Jordi Gomez escaped any sort of injury is a minor miracle. Man City’s Nigel de Jong, a player with previous in this department has once again left a fellow professional with his career in the balance after his ‘tackle’ broke the leg of Newcastle’s Hatam Ben Arfa in Sunday’s 2-1 win.



A baffling aspect of this whole situation is the fact that, in their own way, both these players have pretty much got off scot free. A three game ban for Henry barely counts as punishment while de Jong escaped censure completely thanks to Martin Atkinson turning a blind eye to it. Yes, a top flight referee doesn’t deem a leg-breaking assault worthy of any kind of card. Scary stuff.

Even more bewildering are the people that condone of this sort of behaviour. Mick McCarthy has been quick to jump to the defence of his Wolves players this season following accusations of roughhouse tactics in prior matches but even he couldn’t defend Henry this week. Johnny Cochran would have struggled to defend Henry! However, before poor Ben Arfa had even arrived at hospital, Man City assistant gaffer Brian Kidd was already spouting the default nonsense for occasions like this suggesting that de Jong is not ‘that kind of player’. The evidence would suggest the contrary but why take on bored silly things like that, ey Brian? Support for de Jong also came from Dutch teammate and captain Mark van Bommel in the least surprising statement made by anyone in the history of the world ever!

Even during the game, the commentators saw nothing wrong with the fact de Jong lunged in without any regard for Ben Arfa’s safety and wellbeing. The fact that de Jong played the ball is of little consequence. It has never officially been stated that ‘winning the ball’ is licence for dangerous and violent play and anyone who believes this is the case is completely misguided. In this country we harbour this ridiculous ‘man and ball’ mentality where it is generally accepted that if your intentions are good and someone else gets in the way then it’s their own fault. I’m sorry but tackling is a skill like any other in the game. Going to ground to execute a good tackle is not a necessity and a simple rudimentary viewing of any given match will see that a decent challenge involves winning the ball cleanly without leaving your opponent with his leg hanging at obtuse angles.

Another misguided view is that a player “would never go out to ‘do’ a fellow professional” which is absolute nonsense. We’ve all heard the old clichés “let ‘em know you’re there”, “they don’t like it up ‘em” etc. which are all basically instructions to actively go out and physically intimidate your opponents. You may not go out to cripple somebody but you’re a fool if you don’t accept that football players have and will always go out to deliberately hurt one another.

Look at Karl Henry’s reaction on Saturday. He was actually genuinely surprised when the ref produced the red card as if he had no idea what he had done wrong. Despite his subsequent feeble attempt at an apology, you have to wonder if he really at any point believed what he did was acceptable on a football pitch.

So how we stamp this sort of thing out? Simple. Harsher punishments. 6 games? 10 games? 15 games??? Whatever it takes to make a player realise that there are actually consequences to their actions. A severe deterrent to make sure the likes Henry and De Jong among others will think twice before maiming anyone that crosses their path. Well done to Dutch manager Bert van Marwijk for taking a stand (although som emight argue he is part of the problem given the way his side played in South Africa over the summer) and fair play to Newcastle for their stance in demanding retrospective action against the Dutchman although in the interest of fairness, it must be reported that they are hardly shrinking violets themselves...



It’s an unfortunate situation for Ben Arfa who, despite Alan Shearer’s ignorance, is a decent footballer with bags of skill who would have really made a difference to the Newcastle team this season. The attitude seems to be to try and stifle these skillful players with a good hard kick for simply being better.

Another recent arrival to these shores with tons of ability but thankfully not a broken leg (yet) is Rafael van der Vaart who is proving to be somewhat of a revelation at White Hart Lane. Saturday’s one man show against Aston Villa as well as his influence in Europe midweek (pre-sending off of course) makes you wonder why there wasn’t much interest in him from other clubs over the summer. Ok, it’s too early to proclaim him ‘signing of the season’ as some people have despite the Dutchman only being here a matter of weeks. That said, at only £8 million, he’s looking an absolute steal particularly at a club that valued David Bentley somewhere close to £17 million. If Tottenham are to replicate the successes of last season and/or make some waves in the Champions League, you’d have to think that VDV will be an integral part of that. And to think ‘arry didn’t even know he was available.

Gary Lineker fronted a fascinating Inside Sport special on BBC Two on Sunday night entitled Can England Win The Next World Cup? The programme explored the fundamental problems with the English game right now and tried to seek answers as to why we are so guff when it comes to the international game. I won’t ruin the entire programme for you, instead recommending you have a look at it on iplayer while it is still available. One of the fundamental issues explored is the idea of producing a new generation of talented players to lead us into the future. All I can say is that ideas like this brilliant and need to be implemented as soon as possible otherwise, who knows? The time might come when we are so desperate we’re forced to call up Kevin Davies....... Oh!